Search results for 'tag:Universities tag:Resume' matching tags 'Universities' and 'Resume'

please help my with my motivation letter

luis_aguilera69 — Thu, 09 Oct 2008 14:39:46 GMT

I want to applay for an scholarship call Erasmus Mundus offered by the European comunity, i'm specially interesten in go to Swenden but this is the first time i write one of this letter and let say one of my special skill is not writing. Could someone tell how good or bad is the letter and also give me your opinion of what could be better to include in the letter.. in resume please critic my letter
Thank you very much to all those ones that try to help

Dear Sirs,

I recently graduate from the Engineering department of the Universidad Autonoma de Yucatan, awarding the title of Physic Engineer. In the last years I have been working on different projects related with nanoscience in collaborations with my University and the applied physics department of the CIVESTAV-IPN. Due to these investigations I had the opportunity to present some of my results in different international congresses, which give me an opportunity to take a look of how fast is growing the fields of nanoscience and nanotechnology and how wide it can be.

During my whole life I have been interested in understanding the way things work and due to my undergraduate studies I have achieved a basic knowledge of many of the mechanisms present in actual technology. Throughout the development of my thesis project I had the opportunity to get involved with the amazing field of ânanoscienceâ and since that moment my interest in this field has been growing. However I still have a long way to go in my learning process. Therefore to be part of this master in nanoscience and nanotechnology would be an important contribution to my academic formation and also an incredible cultural experience. The knowledge I get from this master would help me not only to continue with my doctoral studies and lead new scientific investigations but also to transmit my experience to the new generations of students.

On a personal side, I am a very dedicated person with a strong sense of responsibility towards my work. I enjoy challenges and get great satisfaction in the process of learning and solving problems. I also love to do sports and interact with people from different cultures.

Thank you very much in advance for your help.

I look forward to hearing from you.

Yours faithfully,

Eng. Luis Antonio Aguilera Medina

Re: Does it really not make any sense?

Anonymous — Tue, 07 Oct 2008 05:41:03 GMT

Yes it is awkward to read, difficult to grasp and needs a lot of help with grammar. Also sometimes you use words which perhaps are intended to create urgency or to show importance but kinda go off the mark and sound pretentious. Some words or phrases are arcahic, not in use anymore. I have marked in purple especailly certain words and phrases that could be reworked and suggestionsThere's a lot more to be done however I apologize can't tear myself away from work! -Maggie

Philosophically I am interested in Wisdom¹ Management. In addition to knowledge management, we have to enable systems to use that knowledge for identification of the problems, their solutions and their limitations. Harnessing distributely² defined and represented knowledge in complex networks; identifying semantic similarities and differences in multiple definitions of concepts poses a real challenge for the state of technology.

More focally I am interested in working with Dr. John Doe in the area of semantic web.

I am interested (repeated phrase) in joining the academia for a full time profession in contrast to as the part time professional teaching (and some research) activities I have been engaged in the last decade or so. (Very long sentence, use shorter sentences.) I believe that my abilities would be better put to use in a purely research and teaching environment.

The reason I am applying for the MCSc program is that I am interested in applying for the PhD program afterwards. Deficiently the masterâs degree I have is a co-op industrial terminal degree. Although the degree has benefited me in my industrial experiences, it is not a sufficient research oriented credential for doctoral studies. (I want to work toward, intend to, I intend to work on )

I have been introduced to Dr. Doe by one of my professors and his areas of research and particularly direct utilization of theoretical knowledge in benefit of the collective vis-Ã -vis system informatics interest me. Hence my interest in Utopia University.

I am attaching my detailed resume herewith.

Re: Motivation letter for University

caris — Mon, 06 Oct 2008 19:17:26 GMT

I've put the corrections in bold.

Dear Madam or Sir,

The process of supply and demand is on-going and, as such, requires organizations to both adapt and innovate. Organizations should meet the challenge of modern technology and, at times, challenge it themselves. They must also be able to take advantage of opportunities in order to create or maintain a good position in the financial market. In short, the banks and big corporations need high quality (word deleted) financial service where the focus is on the internal and external stock market environment.

I have a passion to work with financial transactions, stock markets and investment funds. Therefore, I would like to apply for the Bachelor's degree of Administrative studies, with the track of Finance or Accounting into Faculty of .. at Y.. University which starts January 2009.

I graduated with a Master's degree of Law from University of Moscow in 2000. My studies have given me a solid foundation in six fundamental fields: Macroeconomics, Microeconomics, Banks' Law, Financial Law and Corporate Law. Since finishing my studies I have been working as a Legal Advisor at Y company.

I want to pursue an international caree in economics, specializing in either the Finance or Accounting field. My goal is to work as an analyst for one of the top investment banks or hedge funds, or as a Financial Advisor for a private trust in any world financial centre. To achieve this, I need to complete my academic background and to take a Bachelor's degree in Finance or Accounting at Y..University which offers an outstanding education and has a superior reputation.

To be successful and achieve high standards in the financial world, I need to obtain an extensive practical and theoretical knowledge in investment analysis, corporate finance, banking, and financial microstructure. I need to widen and deepen my understanding of quantitative techniques and financial behaviour. I am also eager to learn more about international financial systems and stock market investment funds. I understand that Finance and Accounting are very popular and competitive industries and it is rather challenging to achieve a professional career. I am however open-minded and prepared to meet all challenges presented to me. I am convinced that Bachelor's degree of Finance or Accounting will give me an opportunity to build a successful career and become a true professional, contributing value to my future companies.

I enclose my resume. Please feel free to contact me if you require any further details or documents. I hope to hear from you in the near future.

Good job. Besides the corrections, I would have to say that if this is a university in the States, the writing style in your letter seems to repetive. You should state your intentions clearly, so that they do not need to be repeated three times throughout the letter. Good luck!

Motivation letter for University

madona — Sun, 05 Oct 2008 16:27:47 GMT

Hi everybody,

I found this forum few days ago. I think, it is so helpful and valuable for everyone.

I try to get through into Y.. University. I need your help to check my motivation letter such as grammar, structure, errors and etc.

I really appreciate your comment, ideas and opinions.
My due date for sending my application form, resume and motivation letter is October 15,2008.

Please help me.Thank you very much in advance to everybody who wants to "give me a hand".

Dear Madam or Sir,

The process of supply and demand is on-going and, as such requires organizations to both adapt and innovate. Organizations should meet the challenge of modern technology and, at times, challenge it themselves. They must also be able to exploit opportunities to create or maintain a good position in the financial market. In short, the banks and big corporations need high quality of financial service where the focus is on the internal and external stock market environment.

I have a passion to work with financial transactions, stock market and investment funds, so I would like to apply for the Bachelor's degree of Administrative studies, track Finance or Accounting into Faculty of .. at Y.. University which starts January 2009.

I graduated with Master's degree of Law from University of Moscow in 2000. My studies have given me a solid foundation in six fundamental fields: Macroeconomics, Microeconomics, Banks' Law, Financial Law and Corporate Law. Since finishing my studies I have been working as a Legal Advisor at Y company.

I want to pursue an international caree in economics, specializing in Finance or Accounting field. My goal is to work as an analyst for one of the top investment banks or hedge funds, or as a Financial Advisor for a private trust in any world financial centre. To achieve this, I need to complete my academic background and to take a Bachelor's degree in Finance or Accounting at Y..University which offers an outstanding education and has a superior reputation.

To be successful and achieve high standarts in the financial world, I need to obtain an extensive practical and theoretical knowledge in investment analysis, corporate finance, banking, and financial microstructure. I need to widen and deepen my understanding of quantitative techniques and financial behaviour. I am also eager to learn more about international financial systems and stock market investment funds. I understand that Finance and Accounting are very popular and competitive industry and it is rather challenging to achieve a professional career. I am however open-minded and prepared to meet all challenges presented to me. I am convinced that Bachelor's degree of Finance or Accounting will give me an opportunity to build a successful career and become a true professional, contributing value to my future companies.

I enclose my resume. Please feel free to contact me if you require any further details or documents. I hope to hear from you in the near future.

Yours faithfully,

(signuture)
NAME..
Enclosers: resume

Re: Teachers Wanted in the Philippines

Anonymous — Fri, 26 Sep 2008 04:27:58 GMT

Dear Sir / Madam

I am a qualified and experienced English teacher and I have been teaching in Korea for the past two years. My command of the English language is superb, I speak with a clear accent and I am careful to pronounce and articulate with clarity when students are listening.

It is with full confidence in my talents, training, and experience as an educator that I offer this application for your sympathetic consideration. A review of the contents of my resume, my education, teaching, and employment record will assure you that I am equipped with extensive preparation and performance in the English education field.

I hold both a Bachelor's and a Master's degree from accredited universities (see below). My abilities as a teacher have been honed and enhanced through over ten years of consistent practice in the field. I have meticulously prepared and delivered hundreds of lesson-plans, speeches, and lectures and have taught various age groups, ranging from children to teen-agers to undergraduate students to adults. I have taught conversation techniques and have conducted reading groups and discussion groups for children, university students and adults. I have actively engaged in children's education with a high degree of satisfaction and success. I recently taught in the government Elementary school system of Korea, and I enjoyed relating to and responding to the learning-needs of the children. I was selected to be the Head Teacher for Kaya University's English Summer Camp for Kids. My task was to teach and co-ordinate the activities of 7 other teachers at this intensive English camp for both Elementary and High School students. I am presently teaching undergraduate students at a renowned university in Daegu, Korea. Letters of recommendation are available from this Elementary School.

Along with my formal training and experience, I offer myself as an intelligent, sensitive and articulate person. My vocabulary is extensive and my pronunciation is clear and distinct. I am endowed with an innate sensitivity to the needs of others. I hail from a multi-cultural context and I have adapted to various cultures very well. I am a clear thinker, communicator, and an empathetic teacher who can identify and respond to the particular needs of individual students. I love working with children and have great energy and enthusiasm in the classroomâ¦students are very responsive and positive toward me.

I am currently teaching in Korea...but I am seeking to relocate to the Philippines. I will be available from the middle of December, this year.

I would like to send you my resume and letters of reference attached. I am happy to send you scans of my degrees, passport or any other pertinent information that you require. I also welcome a telephone interview. If you reply to me I would be happy to send you my photograph - to your personal email. Please reply to me at the following email address: mr.k.leigh@gmail.com

Here is my resume and letter of reference.

CURRICULUM VITAE: MR. KEREN M. LEIGH

Address: Apt. 6 Keimyung University            Sex:        Male
2139 Daemyung Dong, Nam-Gu                     Nationality:    South Africa
705-701, Daegu                                         Age:         38
Gyeongsangbukdo, Korea                            Race:        Caucasian

Email:  xx                   Phone:     Korea 010-6874-8642

EDUCATION QUALIFICATIONS

2003-2004    Ph.D. Candidate, University of California at Berkeley,
    Department of Near Eastern Studies
    (currently enrolled but do not wish to complete this degree)

2000-2003    Master of Divinity Degree, Golden Gate Seminary, CA.
    Graduated with honors in Theological and Pastoral studies

1988-1994    Bachelor of Arts Degree in Philosophy and History of Art,
    University of the Witwatersrand, Johannesburg

1987    Higher Grade Matric Certificate, Greenside High School, Jhb.

All Degree Certificates are available upon request.

EMPLOYMENT HISTORY

2008    English Lecturer, FISEP Department, Keimyung University, Daegu

2007    English Teacher, Daechang Elementary School, Jinyeong, Gimhae
    English Teacher, Chillam and Jangyu Libraries, Adult Classes.

2006    Assistant Manager, Pembury Hotel â Melrose, Jhb, R.S.A..

2004-2005     Self-employed, Home Construction â Sodwana Bay, Kwa-Zulu/Natal.

2003-2004    Graduate Student Instructor, University of California at Berkeley
ï· Prepared and presented course lectures for classes of roughly 150 students
ï· Conducted tutorial classes in question & answer format for classes of roughly 25 students
ï· Graded examinations and essays
ï· Conducted one-to-one student interviews

2000-2003    Senior Pastor, Hope Baptist Church, San Francisco, California
ï· Prepared and delivered messages and Bible studies on a weekly basis for congregations of roughly 50-200 people
ï· Conducted one-to-one counseling sessions with church members, including teenagers and marital counseling
ï· Managed church staff, operations, outreach and administration
ï· Trained staff and ministry leaders
ï· Chaired and set agenda for ongoing board meetings

2000-2003    Office Manager, Medical Offices of Dr. Eva Dahl, CA.
ï· Managed doctorâs calendar, patient bookings, filing systems, stocktaking and ordering of medical supplies.

1996-1999    Operations Controller, Wheel-A-Waste Recycling Company, Jhb.
ï· Managed the routing and timing of trucks
ï· Orchestrated drivers schedules
ï· Maintained customer relations
ï· Accounting, book-keeping and banking

Letter of Reference (Translated from Korean â Original Available on Request)

From:     Jinyeong Daechung Elementary School
    Gimhae Municipality
    Gyeongsangnam Province
    South Korea

Dear Sir / Madam                            6 November, 2007

Concerning: Mr. Keren M. Leigh

This person served as a Native Speaking English Teacher at our school during 2007. I was his Korean co-teacherâ¦and we worked closely together during this year.

1. He complied with all school regulations. He understood his roles and responsibilities and fulfilled all of his duties admirably.

2. He has a neat and clean appearance and dressed very well. He was professional in all of his conduct. He has a very good nature and was sensitive to our needs.

3. He was active in class-preparation and came up with many good ideas for our classes. He collaborated with me, his co-worked, to solve any problems that we encountered when students had difficulties. He did his very best to meet the needs of students and to make sure they were satisfied.

4. He dealt with the students very kindly and he was open to listening to the students and to respond to their needs. He has a very good sense of humor and all the students liked him tremendously. They were sad to hear he was leaving us at the end of the year.

5. He was very concerned that students felt they were progressing and learning every day. He taught the students using a variety of teaching styles and methods and he made each class fun and interesting. He has excellent teaching skills and achieved our class purpose, following the lesson plans and teaching objectives.

6. He has a positive attitude and put all of his effort into teaching. He tried to find studentâs strong points and to praise everyone he worked with and taught. He is kind, polite, and sociable, so he got along very well with all our other staff members, even though he comes from a culture different to ours.

These things prove his is a good teacher in terms of his teaching ability, personal nature, and the success he achieved in the classroom. Our school strongly recommends him to you as a teacher who will benefit your school.

Kim Son Hee
Korean English Teacher - Jinyeong Daechung Elementary School

I have always had a knack for relationship building and have no doubt that I will be able to foster firm and effective working relationships with my employer. I am certain that I will make a valuable contribution to the minds and lives of the young students that you entrust to my pedagogic care. Thank you for your kind consideration of my application. I earnestly await your response.

Yours sincerely

Mr. Keren M. Leigh (B.A. M. Div)

Our company are seeking

marketleadrer — Mon, 22 Sep 2008 10:48:08 GMT

Business Language Trainers (Full-time &Part-time)

MarketLeader is the largest corporate training company in China with offices in eighteen cities. We are currently seeking Business Language Trainers and Soft Skill Seminar providers to deliver programs to our Fortune 500 clients.

Ã¼ Native English speaker with at least one year training experience in China.

Ã¼ Solid business background with a minimum of two to three years in marketing, sales, operations or HR.

Ã¼ Excellent communication skills are essential supplemented by the highest professionalism and perfect self presentation.

If you can deliver dynamic and highly participative training events providing a strong sense of energy in your class, then we wish to hear from you.

In return we will provide a highly competitive salary between 9,000 RMB and 30,000 RMB net. We have opportunities for promotion to management throughout MarketLeader China.

Working Place: Ningbo-Zhejiang province

Changzhou-Jiangsu province

Nantong-Jiangsu province

Shanghai

MarketLeader offers a competitive monthly salary and encourage its employees to grow within the organization.

Please submit your resume in English to marketleader@live.cn and we will reply to you ASAP. Do tell us where you would prefer to work at.

Please visit our website www.Market-Leader.cn

Part-time English Teacher

MarketLeader is the largest corporate training company in China with offices in eighteen cities. We are currently seeking Part-time English Teacher to deliver service to our Fortune 500 clients.

Ã¼ Native English speaker with at least one year training experience in China.

Ã¼ Excellent communication skills are essential supplemented by the highest professionalism and perfect self presentation.

If you can deliver dynamic and highly participative training events providing a strong sense of energy in your class, then we wish to hear from you.

In return we will provide a highly competitive salary between 9,000 RMB and 30,000 RMB net. We have opportunities for promotion to management throughout MarketLeader China.

Working Place: Ningbo-Zhejiang province

Changzhou-Jiangsu province

Nantong-Jiangsu province

Shanghai

MarketLeader offers a competitive monthly salary and encourage its employees to grow within the organization.

Please submit your resume in English to marketleader@live.cn and we will reply to you ASAP.

Please visit our website www.Market-Leader.cn

Senior Sales Professionals (Foreigner)

MarketLeader is the largest corporate training company in China with offices in eighteen cities. We are currently seeking Senior Sales Professionals to deliver service to our Fortune 500 clients.

Job responsibilities:

Ã¼ Achieve sales targets

Ã¼ Build up the prospect and students-clients database

Ã¼ Create a personal relationship with his/her clients, to ensure they reach their objectives to their full satisfaction and bring referrals

Ã¼ Work as a team member with his/her colleagues and the Center Director to enable students to reach their study objectives

Qualifications:

Ã¼ Foreigner, Fluent in English speaking.

Ã¼ Open and dynamic personality, with excellent communication skills

Ã¼ Experience in sales or customer service

Working Place: Ningbo-Zhejiang province

Changzhou-Jiangsu province

Nantong-Jiangsu province

Shanghai

MarketLeader offers a competitive monthly salary and encourage its employees to grow within the organization.

Please submit your resume in English to marketleader@live.cn and we will reply to you ASAP.

Please visit our website www.Market-Leader.cn

Senior Sales Professional

MarketLeader is the largest corporate training company in China with offices in eighteen cities. We are currently seeking Senior Sales Professionals to deliver service to our Fortune 500 clients.

Job responsibilities:

Ã¼ Achieve sales targets

Ã¼ Build up the prospect and students-clients database

Ã¼ Create a personal relationship with his/her clients, to ensure they reach their objectives to their full satisfaction and bring referrals

Ã¼ Work as a team member with his/her colleagues and the Center Director to enable students to reach their study objectives

Qualifications:

Ã¼ Higher education background: university degree or equivalent

Ã¼ Open and dynamic personality, with excellent communication skills

Ã¼ Significant experience in sales or customer service

Ã¼ Ambitious, responsible, enthusiastic, passionate

Ã¼ Fluent in spoken English

Ã¼ Age: above 25 years old

Working Place: Ningbo-Zhejiang province

Changzhou-Jiangsu province

Nantong-Jiangsu province

Shanghai

MarketLeader offers a competitive monthly salary and encourage its employees to grow within the organization.

Please submit your resume in English to marketleader@live.cn and we will reply to you ASAP.

Please visit our website www.Market-Leader.cn

Corporate Sales Business Developer

MarketLeader is the largest corporate training company in China with offices in eighteen cities. We are currently seeking Senior Sales Professionals to deliver service to our Fortune 500 clients.

Job responsibilities:

Ã¼ Achieve sales targets

Ã¼ Build up the prospect and students-clients database

Ã¼ Create a personal relationship with his/her clients, to ensure they reach their objectives to their full satisfaction and bring referrals

Ã¼ Work as a team member with his/her colleagues and the Center Director to enable students to reach their study objectives

Qualifications:

Ã¼ Higher education background: university degree or equivalent

Ã¼ Open and dynamic personality, with excellent communication skills

Ã¼ Significant experience in sales or customer service

Ã¼ Ambitious, responsible, enthusiastic, passionate

Ã¼ Fluent in spoken English

Ã¼ Age: above 25 years old

Working Place: Ningbo-Zhejiang province

Changzhou-Jiangsu province

Nantong-Jiangsu province

Shanghai

MarketLeader offers a competitive monthly salary and encourage its employees to grow within the organization.

Please submit your resume in English to marketleader@live.cn and we will reply to you ASAP.

Please visit our website www.Market-Leader.cn

Chinese Language Trainer (Full Time & Part Time)

MarketLeader is the largest corporate training company in China with offices in eighteen cities. We are currently seeking Chinese Language Trainer to deliver service to our Fortune 500 clients.

Ã¼ Native Chinese speaker with at least one year Chinese training experience or one year English training in China.

Ã¼ Can speak local language would be a plus.

MarketLeader offers a competitive monthly salary and encourage its employees to grow within the organization.

Please submit your resume in English to marketleader@live.cn and we will reply to you ASAP.

Please visit our website www.Market-Leader.cn

Camp Trainer

MarketLeader is the largest corporate training company in China with offices in eighteen cities. We are currently seeking Camp Trainer to deliver service to our Fortune 500 clients.

Ã¼ Native Chinese speaker with at least one year English training experience or one year English training in China.

Ã¼ CET-6&TEM8 holder is preferred

Ã¼ Having experience in camp training is preferred

Ã¼ Result-oriented Self-motivated

Please submit your resume in English to marketleader@live.cn and we will reply to you ASAP.

Please visit our website www.Market-Leader.cn

Intern (å®ä¹ ç)

MarketLeader is the largest corporate training company in China with offices in eighteen cities. We are currently seeking Intern from the local college.

Ã¼ University Students. Major in English is preferred.

Ã¼ Good English speaker.

Ã¼ CET-4 Holder

Please submit your resume in English to marketleader@live.cn and we will reply to you ASAP.

Please visit our website www.Market-Leader.cn

Re: Aviation English Teachers required in Al Ain, United Arab Emirates

Anonymous — Wed, 03 Sep 2008 06:02:51 GMT

RESUME OF

FARIDA EASMIN JEALIAN

B.A (Honors), M.A (English)

CHITTAGONG UNIVERSITY, BANGLADESH

A lady, who has completed M.A. with Honors in English, is keen to find a position as a teacher in an English medium School. Smart, Energetic, Reliable, Trustworthy, Meticulous and able to teach on own initiative or as part of a team.

ACADEMIC QUALIFICATIONS:

Exam.	Examination Year	Dept.	University/Board	Result
M.A. (English)	2008	English	Chittagong University, Bangladesh.	Appeared
B.A. (Honors)	2007	English	Chittagong University, Bangladesh.	3.05 in the Scale of 4
H.S.C.	1999	Science	Chittagong Board, Bangladesh.	2nd Division
S.S.C.	1997	Science	Chittagong Board, Bangladesh.	1st Division

EXPERIENCE:

Iâm teaching in Mastermind International School, a reputed English medium School of Chittagong, Bangladesh.

Subjects: Up to O-Level (English Literature and Language)

Up to class eight (English, Maths & Science)

COMPUTER KNOWLEDGE:

Ã MS Word

Ã MS Excel

PERSONAL DETAILS:

FULL NAME : FARIDA EASMIN JEALIAN

NICK NAME : JEALIAN

HUSBANDâS NAME : ENGR. MD.ZABUL HOSSEN

SEX : Female

DATE OF BIRTH : 1^st Janury, 1982.

PLACE OF BIRTH : Coxâs Bazar, Bangladesh.

RELIGION : Islam.

NATIONALITY : Bangladeshi

PRESENT ADDRESS : 122, Marium Mansion (3^rd floor)

Road # 2, Suganda,

Panchlaish, Chittagong, BANGLADESH.

PERMANENT ADDRESS : Vill.- Raipur, P.O.- Chunnapara,

P.S.- Anwara, Dist.- Chittagong,

Bangladesh.

MARITAL STATUS : Married.

FUTURE PLAN : To be established as a self-dependent professional.

For detailed information please contact:

MD. ZABUL HOSSEN

Mob:-050-9318014

B.Sc.Engineer (CIVIL)

Planning Engineer

Bin-Hamm Agricultural Co. L.L.C.

P.O. Box-1479,

Al-Ain, U.A.E.

CERTIFICATION:

I, the under personally, certify that to the best of my knowledge and belief, the above information has been correctly described in my curriculum vitae.

Sincerely Yours,

FARIDA EASMIN JEALIAN

B.A. (Honors), M.A (English)

check my grammar.

Jajar — Sun, 31 Aug 2008 20:18:38 GMT

***
***

August 21, 2008

***

***
***

Dear Sir

I saw your advertisement on ..yesterday and wish to apply for the position of E-commerce as I find the position interesting and appropriate to my ambitions.

I am 23 years old, single and a graduate of .......................I have to use graphic software to produce an efficiency webpage and integrated with marketing skills of E-commerce in online communications and planning individual plan to product. I have good command of written and spoken in English and able to work in new teams. I hope that my Qualification will be a considerable plus for COMPANY.

I enclosed my resume and photograph as requested, and I look forward to hearing from you at your convenience.

Thank for your time and consideration.

Yours Sincerely,

....

Enclosure: 2

Re: Does it really not make any sense?

symfar — Thu, 28 Aug 2008 19:41:45 GMT

Thank you Ray.

Although I still do not agree that there is no semantic content in my statement, let me try rephrasing what I meant

Personal Statement

My interest lies in the field of Knowledge Management. By knowledge management I understand the practices and systems for identification, creation, representation, and distribution of knowledge, the know-how of any specific domain.

Philosophically, appropriate application of knowledge in a given context (Wisdom¹) is the real goal, hence Wisdom Management. I believe that this would comprise of defining practices that enable systems to systematically identify problems, solutions to those problems and limitations of those solutions from Knowledge management systems.

One of the bigger challenges in this domain, is distributed nature of knowledge. Any definition of a given concept can also be defined by someone else (distributedly² defined) with some similarities and some differences. Also those definition could be placed in disparate systems (distributedly² represented). For any system to unify these multiple definitions and to be able to work across inter-system knowledge, identifying theses semantic similarities and differences is of essence. I understand that the state of the technology still needs to be elevated in order to accomplish this task to a sufficient degree of usefulness.

Having identified a general area of my interest, I am interested in working with Dr. John Doe in the area of semantic web.

For a career I am interested in joining the academia on a full time basis in contrast to the part time basis of teaching (and some research) activities I have been engaged for the last decade or so. I believe that my abilities would be better put to use in a purely research and teaching environment.

The reason I am applying for the MCSc program is that I am interested in applying for the PhD program afterwards. The masterâs degree I have is dificient in a way that it is a co-op industrial terminal degree. Although the degree has benefited me in my industrial experiences, it is not a sufficient research oriented credential to enable me to get admit for doctoral studies.

I have been introduced to Dr. Doe by one of my professors and his areas of research and particularly direct utilization of theoretical knowledge in benefit of the collective vis-Ã -vis system informatics interest me. Hence my interest in Utopia University.

I am attaching my detailed resume herewith.

1. The trait of utilizing knowledge and experience with common sense and insight [http://wordnet.princeton.edu/perl/webwn?s=wisdom]
2. Distributedly as opposed to centrally or authoritatively, could not find a better replacement for the word,

Do you find this more comprehensible?

Does it really not make any sense?

symfar — Wed, 27 Aug 2008 22:55:52 GMT

I had written a personal statement, the first comment I got from the professor that I have to work on my English.

Quote:

I will strongly advice you to revise the English of the personal statement. Right now it does not make sense. Work with someone more proficient in English to improve the statement.

This seems a rather strong statement.
Could someone identify the issues? and help me fix them

Normal 0 false false false MicrosoftInternetExplorer4

Personal Statement

Philosophically I am interested in Wisdom¹ Management. In addition to knowledge management, we have to enable systems to use that knowledge for identification of the problems, their solutions and their limitations. Harnessing distributely² defined and represented knowledge in complex networks; identifying semantic similarities and differences in multiple definitions of concepts poses a real challenge for the state of technology.

More focally I am interested in working with Dr. John Doe in the area of semantic web.

I am interested in joining the academia for a full time profession in contrast to as the part time professional teaching (and some research) activities I have been engaged in the last decade or so. I believe that my abilities would be better put to use in a purely research and teaching environment.

The reason I am applying for the MCSc program is that I am interested in applying for the PhD program afterwards. Deficiently the masterâs degree I have is a co-op industrial terminal degree. Although the degree has benefited me in my industrial experiences, it is not a sufficient research oriented credential for doctoral studies.

I have been introduced to Dr. Doe by one of my professors and his areas of research and particularly direct utilization of theoretical knowledge in benefit of the collective vis-Ã -vis system informatics interest me. Hence my interest in Utopia University.

I am attaching my detailed resume herewith.

1. The trait of utilizing knowledge and experience with common sense and insight [http://wordnet.princeton.edu/perl/webwn?s=wisdom]
2. Distributedly as opposed to centrally or authoritatively, could not find a better replacement for the word,

Normal 0 false false false MicrosoftInternetExplorer4 I will appreciate any responses.