Search results for 'tag:Verbs tag:Motivation letters' matching tags 'Verbs' and 'Motivation letters'

Re: Help urgently needed: Could somebody please read my motivation letter through?

AlpheccaStars — Sat, 22 Nov 2008 16:18:08 GMT

Lebatonne:

I have made a few suggestions. You can make this better by writing an outline of your main points. That will help you to avoid repetition.

I am writing to apply for the Erasmus Mundus Master degree program in Global Studies.

At the moment I am a student of a European Studies Master course in ***Institute, *** (till September - if you say this, then "at the moment" is not true. Also the verb tense should be past tense, or possibly present perfect). In 2006 I graduated *** with honors and earned a Master degree in German and English Philology.

I have a special interest in the Erasmus Mundus Master Course in the Global studies as (subject-verb is missing here) in the one of the few interdisciplinary undergraduate majors in international studies with a special focus on globalization and its political, cultural, economical and environmental consequences.

I find its program a perfect combination of both humanities and social and political sciences, Comma splice!) I've been always interested at (wrong preposition).

My interest in humanities motivated my choice of my first major. In the same time I tried to realize (wrong verb, perhaps "to explore other areas") myself in the other areas, working as a journalist and taking an active part in the political life of my country and various international volunteer projects.

I have always been interested in development and ecological issues: in 2007, for example, I coordinated volunteer projects in Mexico and Peru, a "fair trade" and ecological work camps in Mexico and "street kids" projects in Peru with "***".

After my experience of working in the international social and ecological projects I was willing to gain some theoretical background knowledge, so that I could pursue a career in this area. This desire motivated my application for the Master course in European Studies in ***Institute in ***. I find the current course program with its focus on European politics, culture, law, economics and social politics extremely interesting. (you repeat yourself) Though I would like to broaden my knowledge and get an idea of (by studying? - "get an idea of" is too casual) international politics, economics and culture. (previous sentence does not have a main clause) I would like to apply for Master Course in Global studies as I have been always interested in the global trends and issues that affect all societies: interactions of peoples, cultures, economies, and polities; the globalizing processes of the communications media; technological and environmental changes; human rights' violations and political, ethnic and religious conflicts. (the prior sentence is run-on, and you repeat yourself again) I think that the Master course in Global studies would provide me with an opportunity to develop an understanding of traditional and modern Asian, African and Latin American countries by studying the geography, history and culture of those nations. I would like to know more about traditional societies, nationalist and independence movements and contemporary challenges, what attempts to achieve social justice, a decent standard of living and general progress can be a success. Through the studies of world civilizations I would get a better understanding of European civilization and the place of my own country in the world. I hope that the knowledge I will gain would also help me as a journalist to create a right (favorable? accurate? ) picture of my country in the international media. I hope I would gain the methods to analyze the global trends independently by the end of the course.

I consider the course and the institution where the course is offered would give me an opportunity to pursue a career in international organizations or NGOs, where I could give my part (play my part in bringing) to bringing the world together across traditional national boundaries. I am sure that the gained knowledge would help me to make )the right choice whenever I have tough decisions to make.) a right decision I am involved in decision-making.

Thank you very much for considering my application. I look forward to your positive response.

Sincerely,

PS: There are also few documents I would like to send later if possible: the results of my TOEFEL test I will (or expect to) take in January, and the reference letter from the new supervisor of my thesis.

Re: Urgent help needed! Motivation letter!

Anonymous — Tue, 11 Nov 2008 01:43:29 GMT

Hi! I would need quick help for my motivation letter, I am applying for an internship! Thanks already and I appreciate your help!!
Sarah

Dear Dr. Smith,

I am very interested in applying for an internship for spring 2009 in your department. I am a law student in my fifth semester at the university of G.. I am recommended by Rachel Kamsor, who absolved (You have to use the Past Tense here) an internship in your department last summer.

I would be glad to absolve an internship in the department of reproductive health and research (RHR) for three reasons.

Firstly, I am generally interested in human rights law and would be happy to specialize in this area in the future. The opportunity to absolve (see above) an internship in your organization would give me insight into a ~~lot of new impressions~~ and knowledge about human social problems and especially the human rights law at the international level.

Secondly, to participate in your department would give me a better comprehension of how a lawyer of human rights works and what the daily ~~precise~~ areas of responsibility are. That would be a great background to prepare me for a future job. ~~insight in my desired job.~~ (it's difficult to get insight to a particular job, only a profession)

Thirdly, I am very interested in the main topic of the reproductive health and research department (Is a department a topic? I would say the area that the department... specializes in, or something similar) . I want to gain a better idea about the societal ills in our world and i~~n connection therewith~~ to what extent it is possible to help. (Have you done any prior reading or research on this subject? you might back up your claims of interest with some evidence. Do you plan to work probono?)

This opportunity to take part in your internship program would be very exciting and challenging for me and I would welcome the unique opportunity to work with you and to put my training, experience, creativity and enthusiasm into practice. I am very open-minded ~~to people~~, have ~~got~~ a quick (not quickly, adjective, not adverb) apprehension and I like ~~the~~ challenges. I would like to work as an intern, from approximately February 15 through (until) March 30, 2009.
If you have any questions, please do not hesitate to contact me. Thank you for your
attention and consideration.

Sincerely

Re: Urgent help needed! Motivation letter!

AlpheccaStars — Tue, 11 Nov 2008 01:06:36 GMT

Sarah:

Please do not use the "glad", "happy" words. They are pretty weak and (in my opinion) a bit girlish. Be more emphatic and decisive.

I have added a few of my reactions, comments and suggestions. If it seems a bit abrupt, please excuse - it is only to help you make a better crafted letter.

Best of luck in you internship!

Anonymous
Hi! I would need quick help for my motivation letter, I am applying for an internship! Thanks already and I appreciate your help!!
Sarah

Dear Dr. Smith,

I am very interested in applying for an internship (are you applying, or only interested in applying?) for the spring of 2009 in your department. I am a law student in my ~~the~~ fifth semester at the university of G.. I am recommended by Rachel Kamsor, who has absolved ("absolve" is a very strange verb to use in this context - please check the dictionary. Maybe you mean "completed") an internship in your department last summer. (Better to use active rather than passive voice here.)

I would be glad to absolve (see above) an internship in the department of reproductive health and research (RHR) for three reasons.

Firstly, I am generally interested in human rights law and would be happy to specialize in this area in the future. The opportunity to absolve (see above) an internship in your organization (the opportunity is not what is giving you he knowledge...) would give me insight into a ~~lot of new impressions~~ and knowledge about human social problems and especially the human rights law at the international level.

Secondly, to participate in your department would give me a better comprehension of how a lawyer of human rights works and what the daily ~~precise~~ areas of responsibility are. That would be a great background to prepare me for a future job. ~~insight in my desired job.~~ (it's difficult to get insight to a particular job, only a profession)

Thirdly, I am very interested in the main topic of the reproductive health and research department (Is a department a topic? I would say the area that the department... specializes in, or something similar) . I want to gain a better idea about the societal ills in our world and i~~n connection therewith~~ to what extent it is possible to help. (Have you done any prior reading or research on this subject? you might back up your claims of interest with some evidence. Do you plan to work probono?)

This opportunity to take part in your internship program would be very exciting and challenging for me and I would welcome the unique opportunity to work with you and to put my training, experience, creativity and enthusiasm into practice. I am very open-minded ~~to people~~, have ~~got~~ a quickly apprehension and I like ~~the~~ challenges. I would like to work as an intern, from approximately February 15 through March 30, 2009.
If you have any questions, please do not hesitate to contact me. Thank you for your
attention and consideration.

Sincerely

Re: need help with the correction of my motivation letter!!

AlpheccaStars — Thu, 06 Nov 2008 04:21:28 GMT

Ca:

You need to work more on this letter. I hope my suggestions will be a good starting point for you.

All the best

A-Stars.

ca_0112
Hope someone can help me with the correction of this motivation letter for my bachelor degree as a foreigner student at a university in the netherlands.
Here below is a copy of my letter where I cut~~ted~~ the name of the institution I'm applying to~~for~~:

Motivation Letter
Dear Sir/Madam,

Iâm (It is better not to use contractions, since they are informal, not formal writing) a Colombian student currently living in The Netherlands and trying ( are you trying or applying?) to apply for the Communication course in English.
After (missing subject) had stopped my previous bachelor course three years ago in order to care for ~~, to priories~~ my newborn daughter, Iâm more then (then and than are frequently mixed up) ready to return to the academic world. After a short self-analysis, ~~of myself~~ I ~~got~~ came to the conclusion that Iâm someone capable of ~~with a~~ ~~very~~ critical thinking and ~~flexibility in~~ making sense of information. I have a high level of intercultural communication competence (Iâve being living abroad since I was 15 and dealing with all different cultures and people) and good listening and speaking skills(Iâm someone extremely social, having my strong moments when working in groups or when interacting). So I sincerely believe that the international ambiance and the strong course program of Communication at (university name) can gives me a wonderful basis to achieve my main goals in life. (Do not use so many parentheses, make these ideas part of your mainstream text.)

In our modern world communication is the key for everything in all different sectors of human life, so therefore the importance of be able to understand the complex process of communicate, the role of media in our society and to have the ability to facilitate this process in a local and global level.(This is a run-on sentence and does not read well at all. There is no verb in the second clause, beginning with "so". "the importance of be able" is incorrect. Rewrite this.)
Due to the fact(? It's hard to prove this to be factual, so just omit the phrase) that Iâm extremely curious and always ready to learn new things the communication process is more then (then and than are frequently mixed up) a constant in my life, but something completely essential. Be able to interact and pass a message from one side to the other of the planet with minutes just fascinates me.
The all process of communicate (? communicate is a verb, cannot be the object of proposition "of") with someone is already something special, even more if you will be able to give or expose your ideas for an all community (?all does not fit) or even the world. That is the main reason why I want to study communication.(You really need a stronger reason than "communication is the reason why I want to study communication"..)

Hopefully (is a word to be avoided) after this course Iâll be able to specialize in mass media communication and become a ~~strong~~ professional in this area. My aim is to be able to work with the media in an international field, since I can speak different languages and I just love to be dealing with different cultures. Therefore, my goals are to develop my aptitudes (aptitude is more of something innate than something learned) and improve on them to a degree that would allow me to be a high quality professional. Because I have family and friends who ~~which~~ were students from Inholland before, the school was one of the first that I considered to apply to, and after research better(?) and visiting the building, as well as talking with some of the communications students I completely made up my mind.

I do believe that (university name) can give me what I need to achieve my results and I do know that Iâm the kind of student ~~type~~ that (university name) searches for. Being someone interactive (?outgoing) and mind speaker(? mind speaker does not make sense) with a strong international past(?background) and a good academic background(?credentials), I just canât wait to start!!

Thanks for all the consideration, hope to hear from you soon.
My best regards,

Personnal statement (motivation letter)

myth0s — Thu, 14 Feb 2008 04:27:26 GMT

Hello!

I found this forum while searching for help with the personnal statement I need to send with my application in order to study abroad.

Here the letter I have now :

Dear Sir or Madam,

I am studying Bachelors Degree of Software Engineering at CurrentUniv. I am completing my second year and would like to study abroad at OtherUniv during my third year.

I have strong interest for database management systems as well as artificial intelligence. Indeed, throughout my two internships I acquired good experience with DBMS. As for my interest in artificial intelligence, it comes from a course I took last semester in which we overviewed evolutionary computation.

In addition of taking courses at OtherUniv, I look forward to the opportunity of meeting new people from various cultures. As a future engineer, itâs beneficial for me to be exposed to various points of view that will contribute to my creativity and flexibility, besides the cultural and language gains.

In French, thereâs a proverb that means âTravels train young peopleâ. Studying abroad will allow me to develop skills I would never learn in a classroom. I will face a myriad of challenges that I will have to conquer. I expect to encounter situations that will be wholly unfamiliar to me and to which I will need to react and adapt. Some may find this scary; I think itâs exciting and an ideal occasion to grow.

Yours Faithfully,

Thank you a lot for your input!! :)

Re: English - The reason why it is so hard to learn

Kathrin — Sat, 12 May 2007 16:13:44 GMT

Yes, it is true: about 500,000 and it develops really fast, faster than the others. But this takes into account only the words in the dictionary, so it could be questionable. German is for example one of the languages, in where one word could be created by every individuals complettly new and the dictonary contains only 300,000, otherwise it is imposible to print every combination, they are too much. Practically German has much more than 300,000.

But the high number of words is not the reason for English to be so hard to learn, it is the variety of the language, not only the number of words. And the variaty is breathtaking: many words for the same phenomenom like (pullover, jumper, sweater) or (cover letter, covering letter, motivation letter) and much worst, idioms, high number of preposition in opposite to French, phrasal verbs etc. With other words: it is a bit of a challange. But the truth is: German is even worst and Japanese even a bigger challange, so enjoy it:-) At the moment I am learning French and I am happy: so easy:-)

Re: urgently need advice on my motivation letter!

nona the brit — Wed, 14 Mar 2007 13:27:42 GMT

You do sound motivated and you seem to have covered most things. The only aspect that is missing is what do you intend to do with all this learning in the long term? What sort of career are you aiming at?

Grammatically, you have some problems with articles, for example

final thesis to obtain a BSc degree

and pursue ~~the~~ MSc and PhD degrees

Also watch out for plural/singular forms as appropriate and make sure that the verbs match.

Re: Motivation Letter for admission to Erasmus University Rotterdam (EUR)

ReemE — Thu, 18 Jan 2007 01:13:56 GMT

Nona The Brit wrote:
Good letter. Problems highlighted for you

Dear Sir or Madam,

I am hereby applying for entrance for the International business administration program at the Erasmus University Rotterdam (EUR) in September 2007.In the following letter I will explain why I think that the EUR is the ideal university for me.

First of all, I would like to give you some background information about me.
I was raised in a small town called Schwenningen, situated in the South of Germany. Although every one in my family is German, my parents made me encounter foreign languages from an early age. Even before primary education, we listened to an English teaching program. Later, at school, I was a quick learner and foreign languages rapidly became my favorite and best subjects.

I participated in several school exchanges to France and England before spending one year in America as an exchange student, living in an American family, attending High School and experiencing the American way of life. All these stays abroad made me more open to the world and ultimately, more curious to experience more.

One among many highlights in the US was the?participation in the DECA state championships; a competition for all business and marketing students in the whole state. I was fascinated about how businesses operated, how marketing worked and how everybody could be unconsciously influenced. At this point, I realized that I wanted to do something with business in the future. Ever since then, I have been following the business news and recently, I even invested in stocks.

Back in Germany, I started to get involved in school politics by being elected president of student council. Part of my position was to lead a team and to negotiate certain goals. Many people were astonished at how much effort I put into it, but it was worth it. I had the time of my life. This position sparked my interest for a career related to business and politics. I believe that by studying Business Administration, I will get a deep insight into the economic world. Politics will come along naturally.

After attaining the Abitur, I have been rendering my civilian service in a kindergarten in Stuttgart. I supervise children who spend their free time in our institution. As we are located in a socially disadvantaged suburb, I am now more sensitive to social problems. As a result, I see it as one of my responsibilities to help reducing the inequality found in many places around the world.

After graduation, I awakened to my personal strengths and skills as well as my career ambitions to think about which university fits best to me. Also, I thought about which university I would fit best to. As a result, I came across the Erasmus University Rotterdam.

A very obvious reason why the EUR is an attractive university is its internationality. The Netherlands being already very international, the university has a high percentage of international students. I love to be among international students because it is a great opportunity to broaden my horizon? and get in touch with people I would normally never have the chance to meet. Getting to know different cultures and habits as well as different opinions and tastes, corresponds strongly to my nature. That is why I see my strong points in the field of communication and conversation.

Another good reason for me to join the EUR is its high standard of education. The education is respected for its multidisciplinarity and thus ranked among the top universities in Europe. This fact attracts many internationally known professors. In addition, the wide range of top partner universities and student networks offer more possibilities to better education. A program, held in English, will prepare me with vocabulary useful and necessary for an international future. In conclusion, I am positive that the EUR is an excellent start for an ambitious business career.

To sum it all up, I like to take responsibility and to work in a team to achieve common goals. I am very motivated and willing to put much effort in my work so that the results are satisfying. I am eager to gain new experiences and I love to communicate. I believe that only the EUR offers the best education and chance of personal improvement at the same time. Therefore I withdrew from an internship offer in the US to be able to start my studies in September 2007. I never felt so right about one university

Thank you for considering my application. I would be very pleased to be granted admission for the fall term.

Sincerely yours,

Thank you Nona!
I corrected the your highlighted problems (underlined = corrected, bold = no clue)

For my own comprehension:
- "to come in touch with" is only used in context of a person
- verb: to participate in
- gain/collect experience...
- after all >>> synonym to finally and eventually, yet incorrect in this context.. why?

Whats the exact difference between opportunity and possibility?

What about the structure or content?

Re: Could you please help me to correct this motivation letter.

nona the brit — Fri, 08 Dec 2006 13:05:02 GMT

Hi,

You are applying for the programme not from the programme. I also suspect you mean Vintner rather than Vintage - check the course details.

You've got a few little errors throughout so just double check all your verb tenses and punctuation and correct them. Nothing too terrible though and it's a good letter.

I'd suggest that you amend these two sentences as shown as they contain several mistakes:

'who has worked as a research and development technician in the food industry for six months'.

'Furthermore, if I am accepted for this program, I will intensify my studies of the French language from January 2007 to attain a good level of fluency.'

Re: Motivation letter for Primary School application <<Urgent !!, Pls comment>

julielai — Thu, 01 Jun 2006 03:11:49 GMT

Hi,

One blank means one word. Hope that helps.

Cutieangel wrote:

We are very grateful and appreciative of you spending precious time in reading this unexpected letter of ours. The main purpose of this letter is to seek an opportunity of education in your school for my daughter, ***, (be straightforward with your request)

We have heard about your schoolâs sound reputation from many parents and ______your schoolâs mission, philosophy, curriculum and facilities from your schoolâs Web site. l am especially impressed ___(prep.) your school (possessive case) emphasis ____(preposition) a balanced and all-rounded development of oneâs potential. I have visited your school with my daughter during last yearâs Open Day and she likes the environment very much.

Our daughter is currently studying in K3 at ***. She performs well in many aspects â self care & (use and for the last item) discipline, linguistic development, creativity and emotional development. *** is an adorable girl. She has a bright and cheerful character that contributes to (a character does not contribute to the community) her good social community. She has a strong curiosity and energetic (parallel) to explore new things around her. Our daughter has a very creative thinking and she will have much idea (idea is countable) (words deleted). For example, she will introduce new game rules for card and board games (all kids do that).

We believe in the Multiple Intelligent theory. Because of our ____, we have arranged different ____classes for my daughter. On one hand, we want her to ___ (prep.) development. On the other hand, we hope to discover our daughterâs potential (word deleted) and develop her interest through various exposure and stimulation.

We would ____ if we could be given an interview (anytime) with the Principal for further clarification and we ____(verb) sure that the Principal could obtain a more comprehensive understanding of our daughter.