Search results for 'tag:Weddings tag:Jokes' matching tags 'Weddings' and 'Jokes'

ineed help tommoro my final draft ples quickly

wutw — Fri, 03 Oct 2008 00:49:56 GMT

is ther any mistak ples chick grammer and writing as you can i welcom to nay fex

HENNA DAY

The most interesting to me on Henna day are the clothing, visiting with family, and special activities. First of all I like the moment when I see the bride wearing traditional dress with a gold threads because she looks very pretty. there are many designs for Henna dress. Second, in Henna day all family meet together to say congratulation to the bride before they say many jokes about embarrassing situations in her weddings so, it make me laughing. It is wonderful feeling when you present gifts to bride such as a gold ring or perfume the. Third, we when we design Henna to the bride and guest in hands and legs. The best part on activity when we draw rose and leaves it looks like Henna show. Also, we enjoy to make traditional sweets. For example we made sweets from Honey. moreover, we have fun time when we sing song for beautiful bride. Such as a song called Henna leaves. In short, in Henna day we spend great time together around the bride.

Re: bridezilla

nona the brit — Tue, 01 Jul 2008 16:01:11 GMT

It's a joke comparing some brides to Godzilla.

Brides who get too carried away with their wedding arrangements and turn into monsters!

"Knocked Up"

Anonymous — Sat, 13 Oct 2007 16:28:51 GMT

Did any one see it? The movie is very hilarious. The story line seems connected to reality. I thought some jokes pretty funny. I really like the movie. After I saw it last week, I'v still thought about it. It is the best comedy movie I have ever seen since "Wedding Crasher."

Re: Please take a look at my sentences!

Clive — Fri, 31 Aug 2007 00:58:29 GMT

Hi,

in the sentence nÂº 3 : "As he didn't have money to buy a new suit, he wound up going to the wedding in the old one", why can't I use the word marriage, but wedding? Don't they mean the same? For the actual ceremony/event, we usually use the term 'wedding'. On the other hand, we say things like Tom and Mary are having problesms with their marriage. They are constantly arguing, and Tom is seeing another woman.

Another doubt: what's the difference between anniversary and birthday? ' eg My wedding anniversary is the day on which I got married. I celebrate that day each year. eg My birthday is the day, each year, on which I was born.

And the way we refer to someone in his/her birthday is: birthday boy/birthday girl ? Yes, but we usually just say it about children, or about friends as a minor little friendly joke.

Clive

Re: Rachel's explanation for escaping her wedding. The comedy series Friends.

Clive — Thu, 24 May 2007 16:54:43 GMT

Hi,

It's just a joke. There is nothing sexually exciting about a gravy boat.

It's like saying that a brick has more intelligence than Tom. What this really means is that Tom has absolutely no intelligence.

Clive

Re: this guy, High school survivor, web bridesmaids? The comedy series Friends

Clive — Wed, 23 May 2007 05:27:02 GMT

Hi,

(Rachel enters in a wet wedding dress and starts to search the room.)

Chandler: And I just want a million dollars! (He extends his hand hopefully.)

Monica: Rachel?!

Rachel: Oh God Monica hi! Thank God! I just went to your building and you weren't there and then this guy with a big hammer said you might be here and you are, you are! (Q: I would like to use "that guy" instead of "this guy" because the guy mentioned above is not in the locale. Can you say sth about this? " src="/emoticons/emotion-5.gif"> 'This guy' is an idiomatic way of saying 'This guy that I am talking about'. It makes the guy seem 'more present' here in the room where we are talking.

Waitress: Can I get you some coffee?

Monica: (pointing at Rachel) De-caff. (to All) Okay, everybody, this is Rachel, another Lincoln High School survivor. (to Rachel) This is everybody, this is Chandler, and Phoebe, and Joey, and- you remember my brother Ross? (Q: What does this phrase mean?) It's a humorous suggestion, accepted by many people, that High School is a difficult experience to survive.

Rachel: Hi, sure!

Ross: Hi.

(They go to hug but Ross's umbrella opens. He sits back down defeated again. A moment of silence follows as Rachel sits and the others expect her to explain.)

Monica: So you wanna tell us now, or are we waiting for four wet bridesmaids? (Q: what does this sentence mean?) Rachel is sitting there in a wet wedding dress. This sentence is a joke about that.

Best wishes, Clive

Re: GOOD AT

Clive — Mon, 20 Feb 2006 06:21:06 GMT

Hi,

1.âDo you know how to raise a dog/how to raise dogs? I prefer the plural. I also prefer the verb 'rear'.
-Can you raise dogs/raise a god? Again, I prefer the plural. I also prefer the verb 'rear'. I don't know anyone who can raise a god.

Do you know the joke about the dyslexic agnostic who spent his life wondering if there was a dog?

2.â Heâs very good at planting trees/planting a tree. Either is fine, but I prefer the plural.
-Sheâs very bad at flirting with/philandering with handsome men. I prefer women who are very good at that. The sentence is fine, but is your meaning correct?

3.â Sheâs a wedding dress and jacket salesperson. 'wedding dress and jacket' is along and awkward phrase. Better to say 'She sells wedding dresses and jackets'.
-Heâs a cosmetics salesperson.

4.- Whatâs the difference between âcosmetic surgeryâ and âplastic surgeryâ? Not much. I think the former stresses that it is unnecessary surgery being done to enhance one's beauty.

5.â Heâs working for a beverage company as a controller/ an administrator. OK
-Heâs a controller/an administrator at an International Beverage Company.

Best wishes, Clive

Re: let's share Jokes in here....

Passionate_freak — Sun, 19 Feb 2006 06:53:08 GMT

Hey LETTI welcome to the Fun World !!!

Both of your jokes are really good but I liked the earlier one, it's too much hillarious.

Here's another :

Thoughts on marriage by unidentified married man:

You have two choices in life: You can stay single and be miserable, or get married and wish you were dead.
At a cocktail party, one woman said to another, âArenât you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?â âYes, I am. I married a wrong man.â
A lady inserted an ad in the classifieds: âHusband Wantedâ. Next day she received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: âYou can take mine.â
When a woman steals your husband, there is no better revenge than to let her keep him.
A woman is incomplete until she is married. Then she is finished.
A little boy asked his father, âDaddy, how much does it cost to get married?â Father replied, âI donât know, son, Iâm still paying.â
A young son asked, âIs it true, Dad that in some parts of Africa a man doesnât know his wife until he marries her?â Dad replied, âThat happens in every country, sonâ.
Then there was a woman who said, âI never knew what real happiness was until I got married, and by then, it was too late.â
Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
If you want your spouse to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say â talk in your sleep.
Just think, if it wasnât for marriage, men would to through life thinking they had no faults at all.
First guy says, âMy wifeâs an angel!â Second guy remarks, âYouâre lucky. Mineâs still alive.â

Anniversary gift

Matress — Mon, 13 Feb 2006 18:53:02 GMT

Anniversary gift

A young man, wanted to get his beautiful blonde wife something nice for their first wedding anniversary. So, he decides to buy her a cell phone. She is all excited and she loves her phone. He shows her and explains to her all the features on the phone.

The next day the blonde goes shopping. Her phone rings and it's her husband.Hi hon, he says, How do you like your new phone?

I just love it, it's so small and your voice is clear as a bell. But there's one thing I don't understand. How did you know I was at the beauty parlor?

Blondes, don't get angry, it's just a joke!!!

90 ADVANTAGES OF BEING A MALE

Matress — Tue, 20 Dec 2005 23:01:58 GMT

90 ADVANTAGES OF BEING A MALE

1. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. 2. Movie nudity is virtually always female. 3. You know stuff about tanks. 4. A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase. 5. You don't have to monitor your friends' sex lives. 6. Your bathroom lines are 80% shorter. 7. You can open all your own jars. 8. Old friends don't give you crap if you've lost or gained weight. 9. Dry cleaners and haircutters don't rob you blind. 10. When clicking through the channels, you don't have to stall on every shot of someone crying. 11. Your ass is never a factor in a job interview. 12. All your orgasms are real. 13. A beer gut does not make you invisible to the opposite sex. 14. Guys in hockey masks don't attack you. 15. You don't have to lug a bag of useful stuff around everywhere you go. 16. You understand why "Stripes" is funny. 17. You can go to the bathroom with out a support group. 18. Your last name stays put. 19. You can leave a hotel bed unmade. 20. When your work is criticized, you don't have to panic that everyone secretly hates you. 21. You can kill your own food. 22. The garage is all yours. 23. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. 24. You see the humor in Terms of Endearment. 25. Nobody secretly wonders if you swallow. 26. You never have to clean the toilet. 27. You can be showered and ready in 10 minutes. 28. Sex means never worrying about your reputation: the more partners, the better. 29. Wedding plans take care of themselves. 30. If someone forgets to invite you to something, he or she can still be you friend. 31. Your underwear is $10 for a three pack. 32. The National College Cheerleading Championship 33. None of your co-workers have the power to make you cry. 34. You don't have to shave below your neck. 35. You don't have to curl up next to a hairy ass every nite. 36. If you're 34 and single nobody notices. 37. You can write your name in the snow. 38. You can get into a nontrivial pissing contest. 39. Everything on your face stays its original color. 40. Chocolate is just another snack. 41. You can be president. 42. You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger seat. 43. Flowers fix everything. 44. You never have to worry about other people's feelings. 45. You get to think about sex 90% of your waking hours. 46. You can wear a white shirt to a water park. 47. Three pair of shoes are more than enough. 48. You can eat a banana in a hardware store. 49. You can say anything and not worry about what people think. 50. Foreplay is optional. 51. Michael Bolton doesn't live in your universe and you don't know what Kalvin Klein is. 52. Nobody stops telling a good dirty joke when you walk into the room. 53. You can whip your shirt off on a hot day. 54. You don't have to clean your apartment if the meter reader is coming by. 55. You never feel compelled to waste an evening trying to stop a pal from getting laid. 56. Car mechanics tell you the truth. 57. You don't give a rat's ass if someone notices your new haircut. 58. You can watch a game in silence with your buddy for hours without even thinking: He must be mad at me. 59. The world is your urinal (You can pee anywhere). 60. You never misconstrue innocuous statements to mean your lover is about to leave you. 61. Hot wax never comes near your pubic area. 62. One mood, all the time. 63. You can admire Clint Eastwood without starving yourself to look like him. 64. You know at least 20 ways to open a beer bottle. 65. You can sit with your knees apart no matter what you are wearing. 66. Same work....more pay. 67. Gray hair and wrinkles add character. 68. You don't have to leave the room to make an emergency crotch adjustment. 69. Wedding Dress $2000; Tux rental $100. 70. You don't care if someone is talking about you behind your back. 71. With 400 million sperm per shot, you could double the earth's population in 15 tries, at least in theory. 72. People never glance at your chest when your talking to them. 73. You can drop by to see a friend without bringing a little gift. 74. Bachelor parties whomp ass over bridal showers. 75. You can have a normal and healthy relationship with your mother. 76. You can buy condoms without the shopkeeper imagining you naked. 77. You needn't pretend you're "freshening up" to go to the bathroom. 78. If you don't call your buddy when you say you will, he won't tell your friends you've changed. 79. Someday you'll be a dirty old man. 80. You can rationalize any behavior with the handy phrase "*** it!" 81. If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you might become lifelong buddies. 82. Princess Di's death was almost just another obituary. 83. You don't mind being a sexual object. 84. You never have to miss a sexual opportunity because your not in the mood. 85. If something mechanical doesn't work, you can fix it or bash it with a hammer and throw it across the room. 86. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet. 87. Porn movies are designed with your mind in mind. 88. You don't have to remember everyone's birthdays and anniversaries. 89. Not liking certain people does not preclude having great sex with them. 90. Your pals can be trusted never to trap you with: "So...notice anything different?" DO YOU STILL HAVE DOUBTS THAT TO BE A MAN IS BETTER?