Search results for 'tag:Writing styles tag:Conversations' matching tags 'Writing styles' and 'Conversations'

Re: The only way

Aperisic — Thu, 17 Aug 2006 23:08:15 GMT

Nef wrote:

Babyruth wrote:
Is the following sentence correct or how can I write it better?
I think the only way not to lose my English is to continue learning.
Thank you!

--------------------------

Aperisic said:

It looks fine but very condensed even for English. Just to give you a hint

I think [that] the only [possible/feasible/realistic/rational] way [that can help [me]] not to [lose/degrade/deteriorate] my [good] English is to [continue/keep/persist in] learning [it].

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My reaction was somewhat from Aperisic's. We both thought the sentence looked fine. But, in my opinion, "very condensed" isn't necessarily bad! "Use it or lose it" is an example of "very condensed." And, in certain circumstances, this kind of sentence can be very effective.

"I think the only way not to lose my English is to continue learning" seems natural and articulate. I like the sentence. It's the kind of sentence people can say in normal conversation, as well as write. I don't think it gains any merit from being augmented (added to).

Sure, I agree, I just said that it is very condensed, you almost can't go any further (that is why I said even for English, the sentence looks like from the competition Make the shortest possible sentence). I just noted what extensions are possible.

The entire sentence starts with I think and then goes into condensed writing style. Very nice, but you could say as well

The only way not to lose my English is to continue learning.

If you start with I think... then the condensation was not completely in plan and I was drawn to give other options.

But, the root sentence is perfect and nothing should be changed regarding grammar and style.

Re: Please assess this essay!

julielai — Sat, 16 Jul 2005 15:17:12 GMT

Every English learner has their (agreement) own difficulties in learning this language. The difficulties differ from individual to individual. Someone may be in deep trouble of (awkward) using proper words in writing essays while ~~someone~~ others see listening as their major obstacle ~~needed to overcome~~ (redundant). In my opinion, writing seems to be the hardest skill to grasp alongside (if it is alongside, then shouldn't they be equally hard? hmmm) the second hardest one: listening.

First, let consider writing. When I write something in English, usually an essay, my poor vocabulary has limited my ability to express what I actually mean. Sometimes, I donât know the word to depict what I see, hear and feel, or how to write things naturally like an Englishman do (agreement). Using a dictionary is not likely to help much, because if I use any word that I found (tense) in the dictionary, it just leads to a fact that: (wording) my writing or essay is completely weird and become (agreement) nothing other than a mess of strange expressions and irrelevant words. Even when I use an English dictionary, and I have checked the word definition well, ~~but~~ I still find it hard to opt (wording) which words to use accurately. As you know, in English, there are some terms that are ~~fixed to be~~ used only in some contexts, if you express by another way, it just likes baby-writing (what do you mean?). Therefore, writing a paper or an essay are harder than ~~just sitting back,~~ (you're talking as if "sitting back" is an option alongside reading and listening) reading an (agreement) enjoyable books or listening to your favourite English songs. In those case, you adsorb passively what are imparted to you. In contrast, when you write, you need to do brainstorming and create (you coin new words?) your own words and write down your own thoughts. Certainly, this task is required not only ideas ~~to write~~ but also something else: Write ornately (wording) or formally? Which perspectives to stand on? How to arrange ideas well? What point
~~needed~~ to be emphasized or neglected? Even when you use words, terms or expressions approximately (wording), ~~but~~ a poor ideas performance (what do you mean?) or an unfamiliarity of relevant English writing style still leads to failure.

Second, consider (awkward) listening. Because you donât use English as your mother tongue (connect these two sentences). So an unfamiliarity of listening English people talking is no surprise. Moreover, I canât concentrate much when listening, especially listening to a bad English tape or a long and technical conversation. Sometimes, this obstacle stems from other matters (wording). Usually, I hear the words clearly but need a little time to remember what it (agreement) means. Additionally, I pronounce some words inaccurately so when hearing the right pronunciations, I almost canât recognize them. But in my opinion, this problem can be easily dealt with. The key to be successful is very simple: just listen as much as I can and the progress can be by leaps and bounds. This task is a continuing (awkward)one and it does take time to get improved. I need over 2 month to make progress in listening. Now I focus on listening to technical or professional issues. They are far more difficult than just daily conversations.

On the whole, I see writing and listening as the two most difficult skill (agreement) to be made fluent (awkward). Other skills like reading and speaking donât bother me much because Iâm rather confident with those skills.

Please assess this essay!

Hookeba — Sat, 16 Jul 2005 15:01:44 GMT

It's me again!
I found this forum extrememly helpful in order to improve my writing skill. So I decided to post another essay to have you assessed.
Would you mind checking it out ?

Topic : What are your difficulties in English learning?>>

Every English learner has their own difficulties in learning this language. The difficulties differ from individual to individual. Someone may be in deep trouble of using proper words in writing essays while someone see listening as their major obstacle needed to overcome. In my opinion, writing seems to be the hardest skill to grasp alongside the second hardest one: listening.

First, let consider writing. When I write something in English, usually an essay, my poor vocabulary has limited my ability to express what I actually mean. Sometimes, I donât know the word to depict what I see, hear and feel, or how to write things naturally like an Englishman do. Using a dictionary is not likely to help much, because if I use any word that I found in the dictionary, it just leads to a fact that: my writing or essay is completely weird and become nothing other than a mess of strange expressions and irrelevant words. Even I use an English dictionary, and I have checked the word definition well, but I still find it hard to opt which words to use accurately. As you know, in English, there are some terms that are fixed to be used only in some contexts, if you express by another way, it just likes baby-writing. Therefore, writing a paper or an essay are harder than just sitting back, reading an enjoyable books or listening to your favourite English songs. In those case, you adsorb passively what are imparted to you. In contrast, when you write, you need to do brainstorming and create your own words and write down your own thoughts. Certainly, this task is required not only ideas to write but also something else: Write ornately or formally? Which perspectives to stand on? How to arrange ideas well? What point needed to be emphasized or neglected? Even you use words, terms or expressions approximately, but a poor ideas performance or an unfamiliarity of relevant English writing style still leads to failure.

Second, consider listening. Because you donât use English as your mother tongue. So an unfamiliarity of listening English people talking is no surprise. Moreover, I canât concentrate much when listening, especially listening to a bad English tape or long and technical conversation. Sometimes, this obstacle stems from other matters. Usually, I hear the words clearly but need a little time to remember what it means. Additionally, I pronounce some words inaccurately so when hearing the right pronunciations, I almost canât recognize them. But in my opinion, this problem can be easily dealt with. The key to be successful is very simple: just listen as much as I can and the progress can be by leaps and bounds. This task is a continuing one and it does take time to get improved. I need over 2 month to make progress in listening. Now I focus on listening to technical or professional issues. They are far more difficult than just daily conversations.

On the whole, I see writing and listening as the two most difficult skill to be made fluent. Other skills like reading and speaking donât bother me much because Iâm rather confident with those skills.

Help with Columbia Essay!

vgg — Tue, 14 Dec 2004 03:49:49 GMT

Hello,
I wrote this essay for my early action school(MIT) where I was deferred . I want to edit it a lot more because I don't think its that great yet. Although writing is my weakness, I really want to make this essay stand out.
Any help with editing/formatting and writing style will be awesome. I plan to just revise the essay for most of my schools.
Thanks

School: Columbia
Essay Topic: Describe yourself and who you are.

_____On a heavy monsoon day, I was walking home from school. The ground was full of puddles and earthworms of all sizes were crawling to seek shelter. My rubber gumboots were half-filled with water and I could hear the dripping sound as drops of water touched the flooded roads. Soon, I reached my building, picked up the mail and ran up to our apartment. Of course, all this time I had an umbrella neatly tucked in my school bag; I never saw the need to use it. I loved getting wet and playing in the rain.
_____This was a typical day, and my thirteen-year-old mind had planned out an afternoon of Table Tennis with friends. My mother didn't greet me as usual at the door that day, and by the seeping pieces of hushed conversation, I knew something serious was going on. Soon my dad approached me and announced, âWe will be moving to America.â
_____Ten months later, I was disembarking the plane at JFK international airport in New York City. My mind comprised of mixed emotions, but I was thoroughly ecstatic to experience my future endeavors. I have always aspired to be a doctor and my decision averred every time I saw my grandmother lying in bed, suffering from lymphoma, during joyous occasions. I optimistically looked at the future convinced that there would be myriad of opportunities in America to learn more about medicine. My mind wondered would I be the next Dr. J.C. Bose, who discovered several diseases in plants; or would I be the next Sir Alexander Fleming who discovered penicillin
_____With the arrival of autumn started my colorful school days. The first time we played baseball in Physical Education, I accidentally ran with the bat held firmly in my hands, a funny yet natural mistake since I was used to cricket. After the incident, I started to make a conscious effort to get accustomed to the New World and its cultural practices. In the midst of discovering my identity, I was helping my parents to reinvent theirs by becoming their cultural interpreter. On the road to this new journey, every step was accompanied with motivational values from my Indian culture: patience, gratitude, respect for elders, and worship of knowledge. I consider myself fortunate of having the opportunity to experience the two cultures simultaneously. I have now learned to emulate the best of both worlds creating a unique personality for myself. In this process, I have also learned to become a well-rounded person.
_____My dreams and aspirations have not been shaped overnight. They have developed progressively. As I grew older, my love for medicine has grown stronger because of the increased exposure to the field. My parents have given me the greatest opportunity and resources by immigrating to America, which I might not have had in India. There are numerous challenges that usually accompany an immigration experience; mine seem negligible comparatively, perhaps because of my attitude towards it. I look at my journey not as a regret, but as the opportunity of a lifetime. My sister once said, âThe world has not shaped you, but in fact you have shaped the world around yourself.â When I think back to the years that have passed by, I know I have been successful, however, the journey is not yet over. There is still the ultimate goal to achieve â the day when I fulfill my dream and become a doctor.

Please proof read my book report please

tofu — Mon, 25 Oct 2004 08:58:47 GMT

just check for sentence structure and grammar please....its due on tuesday 4:00PMEST

thanks!!!

if u want the WORD file..leave your email so i can send it to u

Lost Names, by Richard .E. Kim was an interesting book to read because it shows the loving memory of a family and a lively portrayal of life in a time of anguish.

Richard Kim was born in 1932 in North Korea. In 1970, he started to write Lost Names to introduce the way Koreas lived. However, as time passed, the book evolved to a new level. He had many small details and by rearranging and interpreting a series of events, he was able to create a masterpiece that engages the reader to have a sense of what it felt like living in turmoil. Kim disregards the fact that the book is an autobiography or a fiction. According to Kim, âAll the characters and events described in this book are real, but everything else is fiction.â However, even though the author claims the contents of this book is fictional, it generally reflects upon the narrator early years of life.

Lost Names consists of seven vivid chapters that desribe the life of a Korean family struggling to live a life under colonial rule. Each chapter is chronological series of events that span from 1932 to 1945. The first chapter, âCrossingâ tells the story of the family crossing the Tumen River to Manchuria due to the new job the father found after he was released from prison. . The narratorâs father prison term is often mentioned in the book and itâs evident during the later parts of the book that his presence has deep impact on Koreans but as well as the Japanese. This leads to a start of a hard journey that the family must endure for the next 13 years. As we progress further in the book, we notice the family has moved back to Korea. This is also the time where the boy starts to go to school. During his years at school, he endured being discriminated against the Japanese as well as humiliation from the students and teachers His name was also erased by the Japanese when he and his father went to the police station to retrieve a new name. This was a painful time for the family especially for the boy, âI am going to lose my name; I am going to lose my name; we are all going to lose our namesâ The last chapter, âIn the making of history --- togetherâ tells us the story of liberation and how a new beginning has been paved for the next generation.

The title, Lost Names refers to the âJapanese Pacific War policy of forcing Koreans to replace their own names with Japanese onesâ However, I feel that it has a deeper meaning to it, especially the word Lost. Many Koreans that lived under the Japanese policy had no choice but to change their name or adapt to their lifestyle. Students had to speak Japanese at school, and had to worship the Japanese Emperor. The Japanese had an objective and that was to âeradicate consciousness of Korean national identity, roots and all, and thus to obliterate the very existence of the Korean people from the face of the earthâ Even though they were living in Korea, they were being controlled by the Japanese. One scene that I mentioned above was when the boy and the father went to retrieve their new names. All of the Koreans that had to get their name changed lost everything that includes: their name, their pride, and their culture. They are lost because they feel they do not belong to this world anymore. Many Koreans ended their own life because they were ashamed of their culture. February 11, 1940, was the day that they lost their names. It was a consequence for not correcting the mistake for the past generation, however, it created a new beginning for the current generation. When the father hugged the boy and told him âSomeday, your generation will have to forgive usâ, it meant that he hoped the current generation would not perform the same mistake the past generation did. The boy didnât know what was going on but when they visited the grave of his ancestors, he realized everyone was hopeless. Everyone was âwhining, wailing, chanting, bowing to the graves.â The father hoped that in the current generation, his boy will not have to say âI am ashamed to look in your eyes.â He hopes that his boy can face his ancestors with pride and dignity.

This leads to the final chapter where the boy has matured significantly from the time his name was changed. His conversation on liberation with his mom and father revealed the mistake that the past generation did. The boy was ashamed because liberation was given to them; it was âa giftâ according to his father. The boy felt that the Koreans didnât put enough effort to achieve liberation. Liberation happened because of Japanâs capitulation to the United States. The narratorâs father mentioned it was because his grandfatherâs generation was much disorganized and did many stupid things that could have been avoided. They could have guided the country to its right path but instead left all the problems to the father generation. The only thing that they could have done was to survive. This was the mistake that the past generation did because they focused all of their energy to survive. Their whole life was based on survival. It was nearly impossible to start a movement because the Japanese had established their power. However, instead of being filled with revenge, the narratorâs father asked himself, âWhat can I do to change the situation aroundâ. By surviving, they could lead the next generation so they donât repeat the same mistake as the previous generation did. That is why the narratorâs father wishes his son to be the pillar for the next generation. He doesnât want his son to see survival as his only goal because life is more than just surviving. The meaning of life can be interpreted in many ways but one meaning is to live life the fullest without regrets and to experience different things where you can treasure so you can pass it on to the next generation.

One of the positive aspects in the book would be the writing style Kim uses to bring the book to life. The story is full of descriptive details that allow the reader to feel the pain and frustration the character is going through. âThe bamboo sword smashes my bottom, jolting me with a numbling blow that instantly shoots thousands of sharp needles of pain through my bodyâ¦â¦.My body is shaking, and my knees trembling, and I cant control my body.â In addition, the way the author shifts from past to present to describe an incident is used effectively as it can give the reader the ability to foreshadow events in the future. However, this may also be the negative aspect of the book as sometimes it maybe too confusing for the reader to know what is going on because the storytelling goes back and forth. Another negative point would be whether the details were accurate or not. The first event took place occurred in 1933, that was when Kim was only one year old. Itâs hard to believe that Kim can actually remember what happened since he was still in his mother arms. Futhermore, Kim was thirty-eight years old when he wrote this book. Many of the incidents occurred when he was fairly young. During the span on 1945-1970, many things changed such as Kim serving the war for South Korea. Did Kim write these events based on a eight â thirteen year old mindset or on a thirty year old matured, war-oriented mindset.

One of the reasons why Kim wrote Lost Names was because he wanted to âto teach Koreans to accept responsibility for their lives, to stop blaming others, the Japanese, the Chinese.â He wanted to express his feelings and hardships by putting his experiences in a book. . He wishes that the reader will understand that hatred will only cause more suffering and that one must learn from its mistake so they can retrieve what is lost again. A similar example would be the U.S and Iraq issue. Things have not improved ever since U.S waged war on Iraq. Civilians are randomly slaughtered and the U.S has caused more chaos from before. The hatred towards the Iraqis has created a even bigger problem from before.

I was in awe after I finished reading Lost Names. The real life situations that the author depicted made me realize how much suffering and agony my friendâs grandfather faced when he was also suppressed by the Japanese. It gave me a better understand of what might have happened to my friendâs grandfather. In addition, it was interesting to read a book in a Korean point of view. Iâve learned that the life we have is very different to the narrator of the story. When I was his age, I was playing Super Nintendo and enjoying my life while the narrator was building airfields and fighting for freedom. However, the freedom we have now is due to the perseverance of the people that suffered in the past. It is because of them that we can enjoy the meaning of life. In the end, I definitely recommend Lost Names to all ages as itâs an excellent novel that shows hardships of one family and how they overcome it to accomplish their goals.