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Comments on Motivation Letter asked

Claire* — Mon, 10 Dec 2007 15:15:48 GMT

Dear members,

I am a Dutch scholar in my exam year of grammar school. Upcoming Friday I need to have sent in all my application papers for university. I saw the excellent help offered by all of you to correct motivation letters and give advise. I just finished my motivation letter and I would like some comments on it. I am applying for a university which is very selective. It is an international orientated institute and offers broad education (I want to study litarature, political theory, business and maybe some law) It is very intensive studying and I will be living on campus if everything turns out okÃ© and I will be accepted. But... only one out of five scholars get the chance to be accepted. So I can use all help offered by getting the best motivation letter ever. The yellow gaps represent fitting words I did not just come up. (sorry for some Dutch but thats for translation)

One special thing: I find it quite difficult to limit myself to two pages so if you have any advise on what to delete in this text it would be great (it is too long)

My motivation letter:

Dear Sir/Madame,

Hereby I am applying for a place in the liberal arts programme at University College Utrecht for fall 2008, and in this letter I will elaborate on the reasons of my motivation and why I am perfectly fit for the concept.

My name is Claire. I am a sixth form student at the Koningin Wilhelmina College in Culemborg, I will be graduating from grammar school (Dutch: gymnasium) in June 2008.

I must say I like all my subjects and in particular English and Social Studies. I started learning English from a young age and it has always felt like my second language. Sometimes I feel I can express myself better in English than in Dutch, or at least more beautifully.

I enjoyed the fact that my (former) secondary school is rather innovative. In 2006 Bizzgames was introduced; a simulation of a business environment. This is an excellent way of putting management and organisation skills into practice. Consequence was I came in first as a two-person team with a student I did not know. On the one hand working after school did result in less active extracurricular activities, on the other hand I did learn to â¦

I know people see me as an open-minded, ambitious, passionate and hardworking student. Academically I am a critical thinker. I am almost always passionately interested in a subject Travelling is one of my enduring passions. It gives me an indescribable feeling boundlessness.

From my point of view current students are definitely well educated; however we are also quite restrained by the borders of Europe. I think this attitude will no longer serve. We are naturally ignorant of â¦ I, on the contrary, am very driven and interested in breaking through this boundary. From these I want to get good the elements. I am eager to develop. I find it interesting to put economic/political problems into the pillory. I can be quite taken up by thinking of a balanced policy.

Having experienced the concept of liberal arts and science in 2006 my conviction to apply for University College has grown stronger as time passed. The completed Roosevelt Junior Academy days (see enclosed certificate) and the open day visited at University College Utrecht have only served as reinforcements. I am appealed by UCâs curriculum, campus, professors, students, students associations and ambiance. I felt at home immediately with the campus and I felt a connection with the students I spoke to. I want more than offered by general universities. General universities do not strive to exploit ones individual academic abilities and they do not offer academic excellence. I want to be challenged. My future prospects are at the limit of what I want to consider reachable by own means, and no less. This is because I know I will do the best I possibly can and therefore I identify my future with endless possibilities.

In summer 2007 I took an educational travel to Cambridge. I stayed in a host family, for the reason I wanted to experience British living closely. It gave me renewed my energy to focus on what I want to achieve and therefore made me so much stronger and more motivated. For me this was a very special/changing experience. I finished with the intensive English course, specialized in Academic English at Advanced level. My English has improved â¦ in England. My environment had continuingly existed of a very rich diversity of cultures, which I experienced as very inspiring. I think it takes quite some adaptability to get settled in a totally new country and culture, and I think this is a very important talent to posses. I can easily find a way and socialize in unfamiliar surroundings.

In my exam year an opportunity occurred. I was selected for the School of Economics programme. I signed up and I intensely wanted to participate, for several of itâs aspects appealed to me; the academic education, the English language in studying and specialising in one of my most favourable subjects. This rather demanding extracurricular activity I enjoyed fullest, I am convinced studying in English will increase my satisfaction of studying and turning to English education will cause least trouble. I wanted more of my education and this challenged me.

Furthermore I arranged I will not be making a general PWS, but to complete this in a more academic, specialized and scientific way at School of Economics (Utrecht University) in the British language.

I put a lot of energy and satisfaction into the art of debating. When I was fifteen, I joined the students association Utrecht Debating Society. Speaking in public now represents one of my skills. As a scholar I had to catch up the gap between me and the student members. This only stimulated my ability in learning faster. Besides regular debating I am very interested in performing eloquentia en Iâm considering making that one of my extracurricular activities in the future. I have also been a co-judge at the NK debating tournament 2007 in Tilburg. In my leisure time I like to â¦ in the ancient theory of pleading, especially to read the great works of Cicero, Socrates and Plato.

I am already making efforts to make arrangements to go abroad upcoming summer. My aunt and uncle are very active in Africa concerning charity and voluntary activities, with this connection I hope it is possible to obtain a safe and valuable place to analyze and learn about unbalanced political/economical systems, and experience helping people for whom I think I can contribute to transfer knowledge to people unable to get education. There are still two sides of the badge, because I think such an experience enriches me as a human being. I also like to analyze the as it seems bottomless situation.

I have a broad range of interests and I have quite a few requirements fit for a study to my personal wishes. My contribution to University College Utrecht would be valuable, if given the opportunity. One of the reasons I am so passionately firm about studying liberal arts and sciences is the great international orientation. I would be honoured to join/strengthen the Future Leaders Project. The living environment of a large diversity of cultures does seem only tremendously inspiring to me. Considering UCU students make use of â¦ a lot, my debating skills will definitely be an advantage for me and liveliness in class. My active class-participation will be a mentionable contribution. I would also like to be actively involved in several committees at University College Utrecht. In my high school there was no occasion to have been involved in MUN, Model United Nations. Since Iâm aware of the MUN at university level is offered at University College Utrecht Iâm determined to become member of this organisation.

UCU could give me the possibility to fulfil my academic needs, such as Future Leaders Project and an MUN-foundation. It will also shape me exactly fit for my future plans.

I think it is a huge prÃ© for a student ambitioning an academic international carreer to be all-round. UCU is able to offer, in my opinion, optimal âvormingâ. Highly academic skills, an intensive network with motivated people all over the world, an international âblikâ, broad but good knowledge and ability to speak English almost as a native speaker.

During my high school I have personally been through a hard time regarding my domestic situation and I have no doubt this had also restrained me in performing to my fullest academic capability. Especially in de 4^th and 5^th class I was most affected by this, and therefore my exam grades averages started at a lower rank. It took me a while to be able to remain least affected by this negativity with help from a psychologist. I managed to get my grades up with hard work and high grades, but considering my own personal capability this couldâve been a lot more and will be at University College Utrecht. I think it did make me a lot stronger as an individual. In my opinion a human must strive to take advantage of every event.

Enclosed you will find a form of recommendation from Dr. Verbraak and Dr. Filius. Mr Verbraak is my teacher of management and organisation. Mr. Verbraak knows me well as a student and as an individual. Mr Filius has been my mentor in the sixth class and has been most aware of my personal circumstances. Mr Visschers has been my English teacher for several years and is well aware of my English level of proficiency, enclosed you find his comments on this matter.

Finally, I consider myself a suitable candidate for this program. In my time at KWC I have really showed my motivation, both academically and socially. I hope that I have convinced you of my motivation and that you will grant me this opportunity.

Yours faithfully,
Claire Wientjes

I need some help with this letter, importante!!!

Anonymous — Wed, 13 Sep 2006 17:03:13 GMT

Hi, I need help correcting this letter, i'm learning english, and, i need to sed this letter, is very importan for me(i will send it by email)
Is very short, but is the first attempt.
ttanks
here it goes:

Dear Mr.

My name is ..........., last summer I went to Tarcartel. There I could saw your awesome .... Machine. And thatâs the reason Iâm writing to you, to enquire about the possibility of doing business with you. I quite interested in administrating franchises or selling your products, in .......

Yours faithfully

letter of application

Anonymous — Tue, 25 Apr 2006 12:14:22 GMT

Hello,

my name is Soeren and I need your help. I must write a letter of application for my study. Could you please help me and check the grammar of my letter? I am not sure but I would say that there are mistakes in my letter.

Here is the letter:

Application for a place in your Bachelor of Aviation Management programme

Dear Sir/Madam,

I am writing to you to apply for a place in your Bachelor of Aviation Management programme at your University of Applied Sciences ***.

At present I am attending the Humboldt Grammar School in ***. I will sit my A-Levels in May 2006 and would like to begin my study thereafter.

I am keen to take up the study of Aviation Management as I am very interested in the fields of aviation and commerce. In addition, studying at your University of Applied Sciences would be ideal in helping me broaden my knowledge of foreign languages.

Various information leaflets and conversations with employees from the Schoenefeld Airport in Berlin have enabled me to learn a great deal about the requirements of Aviation Management.

Due to a voluntarily stay in an English Language School in Great Britain during my summer school break in 2005, I enhanced my written and spoken English skills. After nine years of learning English I am now fluent in this language. To my knowledge of foreign languages also belongs Russian which I have been learning since seven years now.

I would be very pleased to be given the opportunity to attend an interview.

Yours faithfully,

name name

---------------------------------------------

Thank your very much!

I ask you nicely to check my letter.

Anonimous — Tue, 17 Jan 2006 17:00:11 GMT

Hello,

I would like to apply to the Vocational Teacher Programme and I have to write the essay.
Write an essay (2-3 pages) and title it appropropratiely considering the main contents. The essay should be based on the following points: â¢ What is your current occupation and what are your main work tasks? Describe and justify the choices you have made in the defferent phases of your work history â how did you get to the current phase? â¢ Discuss: What are the challenges of your own professional development as a teacher? How is the vocational teacher profession changing in relation to the changes in the working environment? How could the challenges you described above be taken into account in the X... Vocational Teacher Education?

I don't know how to title it, so please here is the essay itself. Thank you for any comments.

Dear Sir or Madam,

I would like to apply to the Hâ¦. Vocational Teacher Education Programme in English.

I work nowadays as an English teacher in Jâ¦.. Comprehensive School.

My main task is obviously to teach English (27 hours a week), but as a full time teacher I take care of two international projects, such as Comenius- Sokrates and E-Twinning. Both projects involve students and teachers from many countries.

COMENIUS supports school partnerships, projects for the training of school education staff, and school education networks. It thus aims to enhance the quality of teaching, strengthen its European dimension and promote language learning and mobility. In December 2005 Comenius conference took place in Jâ¦â¦. Our school was proud to host many project coordinators and teachers from Holland, Germany, France, Italy, Spain, etc. We had a week to discuss about future projects and other activities. Our school will take part in the exchange student program. Five students with two teachers will go to France in May 2006.

E-Twinning is the main action of the European Union's eLearning programme. It promotes the use of Information and Communication Technologies (ICT) at schools in Europe. Teachers and students use the Internet to work together across borders. They cooperate, exchange information and share learning materials. Our school has had two partner schools so far. We have done introduction presentations and have been writing letter to each other. Many different written projects have been sent among partner schools.

As the English teacher I have done web pages where pupils find on-line recourses for learning English language. They can read different texts, grammar materials and check their language skills trough on-line exercises.

But how did I become a teacher?

I have got a degree of Bachelor of Business Administration in 2001 from the H..â¦.Polytechnic. However since there was no possibility to take a masterâs degree in English with a polytechnic degree that time, I have completed other studies abroad.

When studying international business I got interested in electronic commerce. Thatâs why I took master courses in E-commerce at B.â¦. University.

Finishing business studies had given me a sense of accomplishment that whetted my
appetite for further studies, so I started studies in psychology at Wâ¦.. University.

Psychological studies aimed at providing selected elements of psychological knowledge and skills to the holders of higher education diplomas which are taken to update or develop professional or academic knowledge.

As you can see yourself I have done a lot of work to increase my qualifications. Moreover I have done my degrees faster than other students. For example Xâ¦..â¦Bachelor degree I completed within 2,5 years with good grades although the whole studies usually take 3,5 - 4 years and thatâs why I was awarded by a scholarship. I was considered to be a courteous and studious student, a light-hearted friend and an enthusiasm coworker.

I think my carrier path has also showed that I have developed as a person.

Before my graduation I was working as a marketing assistant, later on as a customer service representative. In the beginning of 2003 I was ready to establish my own firm and became and entrepreneur. In the same year I published a book âBusiness in Polandâ and the publisher Mâ¦â¦â¦.. has been selling out successfully.
I was a language and culture trainer for Xâ¦.. businessmen and individuals. I was able to help different organizations and companies with translations and interpreting. That was the time when I realized that I love to teach.

My studies in psychology at Wâ¦. University give me bigger possibilities to be a good teacher. In order to achieve a good command of the language, it is important that the students master all the four language skills: listening, speaking, reading, and writing. Therefore my students are always encouraged to speak up in class. I have created the English on-line exercises page when making the school web pages to give students opportunities to study in different environments. Different international projects have been also part of my teaching methods. It is very important for me to have a positive influence on a studentâs learning process.

Since I hold a degree in business thinking about my future career I see myself in a position of a vocational teacher.

When studying at W.. University I began to see vocational education in a different light. It's what good education is all about. It involves students. It asks them to work together. It asks them to put their "book learning" to work to solve real problems. That is, education that helps people learn to solve problems, be creative, and adjust to new situations. Itâs using theory in practice.

I thing there are many challenges in my own professional development as a teacher.

The challenges of teaching have certainly not stood still. Teaching students today is very different than in previous generations. There are much higher expectations by students, families and society. Students need to know more now than ever before to succeed. Yet, students are also less in awe of authority than in previous generations. Like never before, there is a broader diversity of students, both culturally and in terms of how they learn.

Teaching and learning are complex, and teachers need time to learn and experiment with new concepts in the classroom, just as their students do. Principles of effective teaching and learning for students extend to effective professional development for teachers. It should be driven by an analysis of teachers' goals; it should involve teachers in the identification of what they need to learn; it should be organized around collaborative problem solving; it should be continuous and adequately supported; it should be information rich; it should include opportunities for the development of theoretical understanding; and it should be part of a comprehensive change process. Teachers need time to reflect on the meaning of education in a pluralistic society, on the relationships between teachers and learners, and on social attitudes about language and culture that affect students.

I think that the vocational teaching profession should be changing in relation to the changes in the working environment. Vocational institutions should develop fully the talents and capabilities of the students. The industry is still changing and new jobs are being created all the time. Many branches of studies should introduce subjects which are in particular demand on the labour market. In particular, when students leave school they should have employment related skills and an understanding of the work environment; they should have career options and pathways as a foundation for, and positive attitudes towards vocational education and training further education, and life-long learning.

Different teaching methods should be introduced to achieve the goals. In many countries schools have already adopted E-learning courses or even the whole programs are instructed via the internet. Also evening programs or the modular study system should be introduced in all vocational institutions, which would increase the number of students.

English Polytechnic Masterâs programs should also come in force as soon as possible.

I would like to have the opportunity to enroll in the Hâ¦.Vocational Teacher Education Programme in English to put my knowledge into a higher standard.

In addition, working and attending this programme , I will have opportunities to meet people from various professions, offering me different points of view and contributing to my flexibility and creativity, besides the cultural and language gains. Moreover, I have come to recognize that a deep and solid education provided by your programme is needed for me to pursue my career in teaching area. Therefore, if I successfully graduate from the programme and I will make practical use of what I have learned.

I hope that I will be accepted as an an applicant of the Vocational Teacher Education Programme. I understand that admission to the programme is competitive, but I am also confident that I am qualified and eager, and prepared to meet all of its challenges. With my good command of English, I will not have difficulty in studying subjects taught in this language. I have also taken part in many social activities and worked with foreigners, so I am able to adapt to a constantly changing work environment and maintain good working relationships with individuals of different cultural backgrounds.

I would be most grateful if you could give my application your most favorable consideration.

Yours faithfully,

***

Re: SOS! please check this letter for mistakes. thanks!

Mister Micawber — Tue, 03 May 2005 13:47:53 GMT

'Dear Sir or Madam,

This letter is in application for your international summer school.

English has become a global language that runs through the heart of science, technology and finance, and is understood by millions of people around the world. And since we live in a world of lifelong learning, I can think of no better way of developing my general communication skills and improving my accuracy in English than attending an English course in the UK.

Moreover, learning English in the UK would be a great opportunity not only to visit one of the most fascinating countries in the world but also to meet new people from different countries and learn about their cultures.

I am applying to Manchester because, after finishing my course here in Greece, I am planning to take a postgraduate degree in materials science there. So it would be an exciting opportunity to become acquainted with the city and the university environment.

Thank you very much for considering my application.

Yours faithfully,'

Well done, but a little overdone in places, so I have shortened it. Good luck with your application.

SOS! please check this letter for mistakes. thanks!

Guest — Tue, 03 May 2005 13:11:25 GMT

Dear Sir or Madam,

The reason for that letter is that I am applying for the international summer school as I constantly search to evolve and accomplish my personal and academic objectives.

Knowing that English has become a global language that runs through the heart of science, technology and finance and is understood by millions of people across the world and also accepting the fact that we live in a world of lifelong learning, I could not think of a better way of developing my general communicational skills in English and improving my accuracy than attending an English course in the Uk.

Moreover learning English in the Uk is a great opportunity not only to visit one of the most fascinating countries in the world but also to meet new people from different countries and learn about their cultures.

Last but not least I chose Manchester as after finishing my course here in Greece I am planning to take a post-graduate degree in materials science there. So it would be a good chance to acquaint with the city and the university environment.

All in all I believe that this course would be an unforgettable and valuable experience.

Thank you very much for considering my application.

Yours faithfully,

Extremely need your comments to academic motivation letter

Siberian_girl — Thu, 24 Mar 2005 18:01:39 GMT

Dear MountainHiker or somebody,
I have read a lot of different sorts of material on the internet and on this site about writing motivational letters, but it is my first experience. I have revised it, changed it and rewritten it thousand times, I need a fresh look of expert on it. I would be very much grateful if you could help me.

My main problems, as I see them myself, is the length, opening paragraph, language and childish manner... I just wanted to describe myself describing another person and adding some personal aspects of my life, is it a good idea? I am comletely confused. Looking forward any comments.
__________________________________

Many people say about us âlike father like daughterâ, because I take after him in many ways. We often understand each other without saying a word and our viewpoints on many issues of life coincide. Even though my father has been always very strict to me, much more than my mother, the words he has said, the deeds he has done have been meant to make it better for me. Early in my childhood did I realize my fatherâs extraordinary influence on my life. Despite his long hours at work he always has had time for me. Each time he comes back home after another business trip abroad he brings me some presents and what is more important to me â real stories of other countries, other cultures. Growing up with such a strong role model, I have developed many of his ideas and enthusiasms such as a great desire to study new things, to improve myself, to achieve my goals and never lose heart even during very hard times.

My father started his business during perestroika period. It was not easy for him especially in the beginning when there were neither laws regulating market economy nor any practical experience of running business under market conditions and open economy. At that time my father took the risk of setting up his own business and began privatization of a chemical company producing plastic materials.

He encountered different problems and did all he could to solve them. For example in order to lower the costs he decided to refuse using imported raw materials. He initiated full-scale research process which resulted in obtaining high quality raw material similar to the imported one. During perestroika my father had to invest into new developments as well as diversify his business. Besides producing materials for other industries (refrigerators, TV sets) his company started manufacturing disposable plastic kitchenware, resins, paints, varnishes.

When I was a secondary school pupil I started to realize how hard it was for my father to secure well-being of my brother and me. Since my father had no economic training he had to learn everything himself. He acquired all his skills by trial-and-error method. At that time there were no possibilities to study business accessible to present day energetic young people.

Seeing it all with my own eyes I decided to get training in economy in order to help my father. I learned a lot from him how to be patient, determined, and purposeful. At the age of 13 I was admitted to economics-orientated school on the competitive basis. Of course, in the mid 90s there was no sufficient basis for studying all principles and rules of market activities, so I took up learning English to get an access to foreign information sources, scientific literature and master the complicated subject of business. After finishing school I decided to continue my training in economics and entered International Economics department at the Institute ****.

I have always been interested in the ways business is done in other countries, so having learned English I took up Italian and German. Now I am beginning to study French. Besides, each year I travel to Europe where I take different courses, and communicate with foreigners to strengthen my language abilities.

Foreign languages help me in my work at my fatherâs company. I interpret for him during international exhibitions, translate foreign market reviews and business correspondence. I think my sociability, flexibility, ability to work independently and in a team help me to do my job properly.

My parents have worked so hard for their children that I feel I must do my best to justify their hopes which they lay in me. I want to provide them with all the best conditions for life when they get older. This is the reason number one, why I want to receive good quality European education. In the future I want to apply the obtained knowledge and open and develop my own business in Russia. I am eager to change the current wrong stereotypes in relation to my country. I believe that young, energetic highly skilled and motivated people like me can efficiently contribute to this. We will be able to conduct civilized business, rationally use the rich natural resources of our country, attract internal and external investments for the countryâs development, provide well-being of international level and strengthen economic and cultural relations.

So far I have a lot of energy, great desire for improvement as well as theoretical and practical experience, which is far from sufficient to reach the goals I set before myself.

Another reason of choosing your University is itâs high ratings among American and European universities. The education of such high standards received abroad is highly prestigious in Russia, even more in Siberia Many worldwide well-known business people, economists and politicians graduated from ****. Moreover my foreign friends expressed a lot of very positive opinions on your University teaching staff.

What is also very important for me is the country to stay for the period of studies. I have already been to **** 3 times and every trip increases my enthusiasm for this country. I am very interested in ****an culture and history. I feel comfortable and natural communicating with ****ians and staying in ****. I believe I will easily adapt to new living conditions and social environment, because I lived in an ****ian host family last summer and didnât experience any difficulties or problems.

Fortunately, I have the family that encourages me in everything I do. My plans to study abroad were met enthusiastically by my parents. Full approval and overall assistance of my father will help me to overcome obstacles which might arise in my way. His living example makes me much stronger and more patient. I will do my best in order not to disappoint him.

You might think the story about my father is too detailed and long, but I honestly consider him a great personality who has influenced my life very much.

Thank you for taking the time to consider my application.
I am looking forward to hearing from you in the near future,

Yours faithfully,

Please make your comments to improve this letter

Siberian_girl — Thu, 24 Mar 2005 13:33:20 GMT

Dear MountainHiker or somebody,
I have read a lot of different sorts of material on the internet and on this site about writing motivational letters, but it is my first experience. I have revised it, changed it and rewritten it thousand times, I need a fresh look of expert on it. I would be very much grateful if you could help me.
__________________________________

Many people say about us âlike father like daughterâ, because I take after him in many ways. We often understand each other without saying a word and our viewpoints on many issues of life coincide. Even though my father has been always very strict to me, much more than my mother, the words he has said, the deeds he has done have been meant to make it better for me. Early in my childhood did I realize my fatherâs extraordinary influence on my life. Despite his long hours at work he always has had time for me. Each time he comes back home after another business trip abroad he brings me some presents and what is more important to me â real stories of other countries, other cultures. Growing up with such a strong role model, I have developed many of his ideas and enthusiasms such as a great desire to study new things, to improve myself, to achieve my goals and never lose heart even during very hard times.

My father started his business during perestroika period. It was not easy for him especially in the beginning when there were neither laws regulating market economy nor any practical experience of running business under market conditions and open economy. At that time my father took the risk of setting up his own business and began privatization of a chemical company producing plastic materials.

He encountered different problems and did all he could to solve them. For example in order to lower the costs he decided to refuse using imported raw materials. He initiated full-scale research process which resulted in obtaining high quality raw material similar to the imported one. During perestroika my father had to invest into new developments as well as diversify his business. Besides producing materials for other industries (refrigerators, TV sets) his company started manufacturing disposable plastic kitchenware, resins, paints, varnishes.

When I was a secondary school pupil I started to realize how hard it was for my father to secure well-being of my brother and me. Since my father had no economic training he had to learn everything himself. He acquired all his skills by trial-and-error method. At that time there were no possibilities to study business accessible to present day energetic young people.

Seeing it all with my own eyes I decided to get training in economy in order to help my father. I learned a lot from him how to be patient, determined, and purposeful. At the age of 13 I was admitted to economics-orientated school on the competitive basis. Of course, in the mid 90s there was no sufficient basis for studying all principles and rules of market activities, so I took up learning English to get an access to foreign information sources, scientific literature and master the complicated subject of business. After finishing school I decided to continue my training in economics and entered International Economics department at the Institute ****.

I have always been interested in the ways business is done in other countries, so having learned English I took up Italian and German. Now I am beginning to study French. Besides, each year I travel to Europe where I take different courses, and communicate with foreigners to strengthen my language abilities.

Foreign languages help me in my work at my fatherâs company. I interpret for him during international exhibitions, translate foreign market reviews and business correspondence. I think my sociability, flexibility, ability to work independently and in a team help me to do my job properly.

My parents have worked so hard for their children that I feel I must do my best to justify their hopes which they lay in me. I want to provide them with all the best conditions for life when they get older. This is the reason number one, why I want to receive good quality European education. In the future I want to apply the obtained knowledge and open and develop my own business in Russia. I am eager to change the current wrong stereotypes in relation to my country. I believe that young, energetic highly skilled and motivated people like me can efficiently contribute to this. We will be able to conduct civilized business, rationally use the rich natural resources of our country, attract internal and external investments for the countryâs development, provide well-being of international level and strengthen economic and cultural relations.

So far I have a lot of energy, great desire for improvement as well as theoretical and practical experience, which is far from sufficient to reach the goals I set before myself.

Another reason of choosing your University is itâs high ratings among American and European universities. The education of such high standards received abroad is highly prestigious in Russia, even more in Siberia Many worldwide well-known business people, economists and politicians graduated from ****. Moreover my foreign friends expressed a lot of very positive opinions on your University teaching staff.

What is also very important for me is the country to stay for the period of studies. I have already been to **** 3 times and every trip increases my enthusiasm for this country. I am very interested in ****an culture and history. I feel comfortable and natural communicating with ****ians and staying in ****. I believe I will easily adapt to new living conditions and social environment, because I lived in an ****ian host family last summer and didnât experience any difficulties or problems.

Fortunately, I have the family that encourages me in everything I do. My plans to study abroad were met enthusiastically by my parents. Full approval and overall assistance of my father will help me to overcome obstacles which might arise in my way. His living example makes me much stronger and more patient. I will do my best in order not to disappoint him.

You might think the story about my father is too detailed and long, but I honestly consider him a great personality who has influenced my life very much.

Thank you for taking the time to consider my application.
I am looking forward to hearing from you in the near future,

Yours faithfully,

Re: Please help with my motivation letter

anon1 — Mon, 31 Jan 2005 21:18:16 GMT

Dear Sir or Madam:

With this letter, I would like to express my interest in participating at The International School of English (ISE) by the University of Malta.

Having looked through the materials of the Foreign Department of my university, I was very delighted to find the opportunity to spend one month learning English at the University of Malta in this summer. I have decided to apply for this scholarship because the best way to learn a foreign language is to spend time in learning in a foreign country.

After graduating from high school I started studying at *SmartyPants* University in *Prague*. I have always enjoyed traveling and meeting people and learning their languages. By learning the language of the host country, I am able to learn more about the country than I otherwise could. Therefore I decided to take Regional Geography Programme specializing in European Union Studies. My studies are based on experiencing and learning about different cultures. And as the EU countries are at the focus of my lessons, learning about Malta and its language, culture, and people is an essential part of my university studies. [It has been tuned somewhat. This is reasonably good, no?]

I am proud of how much I have accomplished during my past ten years of studying English. Three years ago I successfully passed the FCE Cambridge Examination. But in order to become much better, I need to spend time in an English speaking country. In addition to learning English, I have also been learning German and Hungarian. Concerning Hungarian I was lucky to spend two summers in Hungary attending University Courses. I found that I was able to learn better by residing in the country, and I greatly appreciated the cultural experience because it inspired me to continue learning and improve my skills.

I would very much like to spend one month at the ISE in Malta. This would give me an opportunity to improve my English and increase my confidence in passing the TOEFL examinations after I return. I plan to apply for a scholarship through the SOCRATES â ERASMUS programme. Moreover, I am confident that my experience in Malta would be extremely exciting, fun, and valuable for both my studies and overall general development.

Thank you for considering my request. I look forward to your acceptance.

Yours faithfully,

Jana XZ

Just check whether they spell âprogramâ or âprogrammeâ. I will ask someone from Malta to have a look at your letter. Check back in a few hours or tomorrow.

MountainHiker

Re: Please help with my motivation letter

jjjana — Mon, 31 Jan 2005 20:49:56 GMT

Hello,
I have made rather minor changes following most of your advices. I really like your corrections and improvements, they exactly fit into my general idea. I would appreciate if you could look at it once more. Thank you.

Dear Sir or Madam:

With this letter, I would like to express my interest in participating at The International School of English (ISE) by the University of Malta.

Having looked through the materials of the Foreign Department of my university, I was very delighted to find the opportunity to spend one month learning English at the University of Malta in this summer. [I know this sounds weird, but it is exactly how it was] I have decided to apply for this scholarship because the best way to learn a foreign language is to spend time in learning in a foreign country.

After graduating from high school I started studying at *SmartyPants* University in *Prague*. I have always enjoyed traveling and meeting people and learning their languages. By learning the language of the host country, I learn more about the country than I otherwise would. Therefore I decided to take Regional Geography Programme specializing in European Union Studies. My studies are based on experiencing and learning about different culture backgrounds. And as the EU countries are at the focus of my lessons, learning about Malta, Maltese language, culture and its people is an essential part of my university studies. [This still needs improvement]

I am proud of how much I have accomplished during my past ten years of studying English. Three years ago I successfully passed the FCE Cambridge Examination. In order to become much better, I need to spend time in an English speaking country. In addition to English, I have also been learning German and Hungarian. Concerning Hungarian I was lucky to spend two summmers in Hungary attending University Courses of the language. I found that I was able to learn better residing in the country and I greatly appreciated the cultural experience because it gave me a unique motivation for further improvement in language.

I would very much like to spend one month at the ISE in Malta. This would give me an opportunity to improve my English and increase my confidence in passing the TOEFL examinations after I return. I plan to apply for a scholarship through the SOCRATES â ERASMUS programme. Moreover, I am confident that my experience in Malta would be extremely exciting, fun, and valuable for both my studies and general development.

Thank you for considering my request. I look forward to your acceptance.

Yours faithfully,

Jana XZ

ps.
Thanks very much for your hitherto help! I am sad that I can not reciprocate this service. I am affraid that there are not many foreigners who need help with letters in Czech
But I promise, in case I am accepted, I will let you know. And I am sure I will use this forum in future.

Jana

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