Re: LETTER OF MOTIVATION

Kathrin — Sun, 13 May 2007 18:32:37 GMT

1) My name is X.X. This is a very unusual opening line and not even necessary one. Your name is known from the CV as well as the from the address. There is no need to introduce itself in a formal letter. My name is .. is for writing to potential friends, strongly informal. I would suggest to take it back, it could lead to a tradegy:_)

2) At the moment I'm going... The tense is not correct because the action started in the past and is still going. At the moment you are sitting in front of your computer:-)

Proposal: Recently I have been attending a private school in M., in the ... grade.

3) My principal courses are geography and german, My major subjects are geography and German (German with a capital letter)

4) I was born. See 1). The letter should provide your motivation. I doubt if your birthday is connected to your motivation. If so explain why:-) Cut the whole sentense.

OK, there is no point to go on. This isn't a motivation letter, more a mix between CV and cover letter. If possible, please forget it and write it complettely new after research about the structure of a formal cover letter. I would try to correct the obvious mistake as far as I can. It would be better:-)

Please have a look at my LoM, I really need help with the structure...

Jorgy — Sun, 08 Apr 2007 07:18:22 GMT

Hi all,

I'm another person that needs help with a Letter of Motivation... It would be great if you had a look at it. I would be very thankful for any comment on the structure, grammar..., also I'm interested in the expression you would have of me after reading the lom.

The institution I apply at gave the following information for the lom: Please write (on a separate sheet of paper) a statement explaining your current goals, career plans and reasons for being interested in a doctoral program at the University of X. Discuss your study plans and your intended fields of interest. Your statement should be in English and not exceed two pages (not more than 700 words). (Btw, this lom is not meant as a cover letter.)

OK, here's the first version of me lom (I x marked the local information to avoid that the selection panel could find it in the www, I know, it's a little paranoid... ;-))

cheers, jorgy

Dear Prof. Dr. X,

I am a 25 year old German Sociologist currently working at the X at X. I am writing to you to apply for the Doctoral Program in Sociology at the Graduate School for X at the University X starting in December 2007.

To attend your Doctoral Program (both in capital letters?) on empirical and quantitative methods is of high interest for me because during my studies of Sociology and Political Sciences at the University of X from 2001 till 2006 I have developed a great interest in empirical social research. While I gained work experience as a student assistant at X from 2001 to 2005 I became awake that I want to start a career as a researcher in the field of empirical social sciences. A first important step towards that goal was obtaining an award from the âXâ in November 2005. They funded me for 13 month to work on an expertise about the âEfficiency of the Measurement of Further Educationâ wherein I compared and evaluated the measurement of further education in four different German surveys. Since this was a part time project I was able to spend three month (May to July 2006) at the Marketing Department at University X, working as a research assistant on the X Survey Programme. This gave me the opportunity to gather more work experience with a large data set and to improve my English as well in written and spoken in an international environment. Throughout my task on the funded project and on the X data I recognised once more that methodology and quantitative methods are substantial for any social research.

Since January 2007 I am now working as a researcher at X on a project which aims to enhance the quality of the X Survey. Within that project it comes apparent to me again that the use of appropriate methods is crucial to get reliable and valid results exceedingly in the cross-national comparison. Therefore I intend to do my doctoral studies on empirical and quantitative methods whereas my main interest lies in survey methodology for cross-national studies. Thus the topic of my doctoral thesis should be related to a topic dealing with establishment of comparability of data in cross-national surveys. Hence I need a solid education in the fields of empirical and quantitative methods which I expect to obtain in your Doctoral Program.

Additionally I want to mention two more reasons why I have a great interest to gain a doctorâs degree in your program. The first is that the training in empirical and quantitative methods at your Graduate School is combined with their application to business, economics, and the social sciences. Moreover, notwithstanding the decision for one study field, in my case i.e. Sociology, the exchange across the different disciplines is fostered amongst other things through attending to a seminar in a neighbouring field and through the contact to other Graduate School students who specialise in these other disciplines. A second reason why I appreciate your Graduate School is the excellent and international orientated research environment. Both the Social Sciences faculty and the cooperating centres are internationally well renowned and house experts in their fields. This and to study in an English speaking environment would provide me with skills which are necessary to compete internationally successful as a researcher.

I honestly feel confident that the Doctor in Sociology with a focus on empirical and quantitative methods would be the best choice for me. Furthermore it would be an honor for me to be a doctoral student at the Graduate School funded under the âXâ as the first of its kind in Germany. Therefore I would be glad of receiving the opportunity to attend the Graduate School of X.

Thank you very much for considering my application. Iâm looking forward hearing from you.

Sincerely yours

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Re: LETTER OF MOTIVATION

Please have a look at my LoM, I really need help with the structure...