I think he is describing the opposite of what, if I understand the practice correctly, meditation is supposed to provide - a quiet, empty mind. Right now if I glance across my desk, I see my iPod - how long has it been since I charged it? a bottle

Yes. "Font" here is the archaic word for fountain. McEnroe is the opposite of a fountain of modesty; he has none at all. And that should be "bearhugged."

It means it's sort of like a hat. It can function as a hat, but it's odd-looking or otherwise not really a true "hat."

Eureka, khoff! I think you've got it!

1) the dead have no use for money. 2) innocently unaware of a grisly fate about to befall one

Del falls off chair shrieking with laughter---

consist = be made up of. There will never be more than 100 individuals in any later generation.

maybe the boss is supposed to be gay.

I'm not sure exactly what the speaker intends to do :) but sure, it sounds perfectly idiomatic to me.

In this instance, "bump" refers to a sudden, temporary increase. It's a word you hear associated with polls - "As expected, Obama's numbers showed a bump following the Democratic convention."