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Hi!
I am coauthoring an article. My co-author wrote this sentence:

These people should not only be identified with the set of the stakeholders who define the system of the strong interests tied to land use and transformation – and who design and implement the regional planning policies , but also with formal and informal organizations through which citizens may eventually focus and express their requirements, aspirations, needs and expectations, concerning the present and future organization of the urban space.
I'm not quite sure about all those articles I've highlighted. Should I delete them? (I think so). I'd also move that "not only" (which is meant to modify "the set," not "identifies") and the whole sentence would read:

These people should be identified not only with the set of stakeholders who define the system of strong interests tied to land use and transformation – and who design and implement regional planning policies , but also with formal and informal organizations through which citizens may eventually focus and express their requirements, aspirations, needs and expectations, concerning present and future organization of the urban space.

However, his English is far better than mine, so I thought I'd better look for your advice before editing. Emotion: smile

Also, how about "–,"? (I know it's a matter of style, but ... are there any guidelines I can refer to?)
Thank you in advance!
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Tanit, the "not only" and "but also" are not followed by parallel structures.

identified with not only X but also Y

identified not only with X but also with Y

not only identified with X but also VERB ...
Comments  
Hi Tanit

These people should not only be identified with the set of the stakeholders who define the system of the strong interests tied to land use and transformation – and who design and implement the regional planning policies , but also with formal and informal organizations through which citizens may eventually focus and express their requirements, aspirations, needs and expectations, concerning the present and future organization of the urban space.

These people should not only be identified with the set of the stakeholders who define the system of the strong interests tied to land use and transformation, and who design and implement the regional planning policies, but also with formal and informal organizations through which citizens may eventually focus and express their requirements, aspirations, needs and expectations, concerning the present and future organization of the urban space.

The dash should not be followed by a comma. If you removed the dashes, you would have to replace them with commas.
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I would delete all except the final article "the"; and definitely remove the comma following the dash, which is unnecessary and wrong. The "not only" is good. The final product is:

These people should not only be identified with the set of stakeholders who define the system of strong interests tied to land use and transformation – and who design and implement regional planning policies – but also with formal and informal organizations through which citizens may eventually focus and express their requirements, aspirations, needs and expectations, concerning the present and future organization of the urban space.
YL & ET, thank you both!
 BarbaraPA's reply was promoted to an answer.
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Thanks, Barbara. I felt there was a problem with "not only... but also..."
However, he has already sent our abstract (today was the deadline - mmh, or "the deadline was today"?).
What's more, he didn't send my final version, and left all the "thes" and that comma after the dash Emotion: crying
Well, if they accept the abstract, I'm going to change it as soon as possible! Emotion: angry