I am college freshman writing a business letter for my dad's business oversea. I'm doing so because no one at his place speaks/writers acceptable English. So, I am drafted to write a letter (not e-mail) for him to a big company requesting for partnership. The my dad's marketing manager sketched me general idea that started as a 130 word e-mail.

Talk about responsibility. Even though I plan to be an English major (not business major, and I’m ESL to a certain extent), I have no idea whether I'm doing this right. I've written cover letters for college applications before, but that's a completely different business, no pun intended.

Anyways, I looked through Wikipedia for info on business letters, but I still have a few more questions. I can't broad cast the content of this letter, so I will try to summarize the tricky parts as best as I could.

1. I am supposed to be writing as a marketing manager to this big company and offering them assistance in several events they will be hosting. Does the heading "Offer of Assistance for Future XX Events" sounds stupid?

2. My letterhead contains our company’s name and address. Can I put phone, fax, e-mail, and homepage in the letterhead too? If not, where should I put it? (Technically they’re on the envelope, too. I just want to be sure.)

3. I begin the letter with "I am XX, the International Marketing Manager for XX Information Corporation®." Is that what people do? Or do they start with something else?

4. The general outline of the letter is as follows:



-Dear Sir or Madam

-Header ("Offer of Assistance for Future XX Events")

-Content (starting with "I am XX, the International Marketing……")

#we would like to help your event in such and such a way

#detail of our plan

#detail of product (includes instruction of getting free trial on-line, which I have an url typed)

#detail/history of company

#ending (includes personal contact info.)


XX (Signature by hand)

-International Marketing Manager

XX Company

The letter now totals about 3000 words, a little bit more than a page if single-spaced. Anything missing or out of order or whatnot?

5. I wanted to leave an instruction for the receiver if they are interested, so in the penultimate line I said "If our proposal is acceptable, please contact me through e-mail at Email Removed" The reason why I want them to use e-mail is because the real marketing manager who I am writing as couldn't really speak English, even though he/she reads English pretty well. What is the proper way of leaving personal contact information? I do have a letter head that contains the contact address of the company, but I feel I need to have personal info (e-mail, phone, fax, etc) as well. Where do I put it? After the signature? In what order?

6. What is the etiquette for leaving url and e-mail in an formal letter?

7. I ended the letter with "On behalf of my company, I invite you into this partnership." I think it sounds funny, but I don't know what to do.

8. What do I put after the signature? The example letters Wikipedia had are somewhat conflicting…

9. We have formal envelope for our company, but do I print (as with a printer) the name and address of the receiver, or do I write it with hand with a pen?

10. How do I use the small circled trademark ®? I have it on the righthand corner after every mention of our company's and product's name, though I don’t know if that’s proper. Moreover, if I have “’s” after the names, should I put the R before or after the apostrophe?

11. One problem we have now is that our company does not have formal letter paper, so I have to set it up myself. Are there anything I should be aware of? Do I need to treat the letter with procedures (such as rubber stamps) or use a particular kind of paper?

12. Anything you think I would do wrong and didn’t notice?

I know this is a huge question, but any help will be appreciated, even if you could just point me in the right direction!

Thank you!!
Letterheads normally contain all contact information for the company, so do include the phone number etc.

Your planned letter is far too long. It sounds as though you are just writing to these companies out of the blue so you need to keep it short and sweet. they won't want to spend 10 minutes reading through a long letter from someone they don't even know.

The letter needs to get their attention and make them interested in your service so that you can discuss the details with them afterwards. It shouldn't go into every little detail itself.

Make the special offer the first thing you talk about - I get tons of letters and leaflets 'on-spec' in my business and I quickly scan them for literally only a couple of seconds to see if I want to bother reading the whole thing. Everyone I know in business does the same thing otherwise we'd spend all day reading a load of irrelevant rubbish.

Heading - come up with something a bit snappier. This is a sales letter. If I got a letter headed 'offer of assistance' I'd think you were being a bit cheeky assuming I need your help. Find something that gets over the benefit of your service in just a few words.

To: Personnel Officers

Dear Sir / Madam:

We are glad to inform you that the above corporation (the letterhead) is already conducting lectures on values formation as well as actual on-the-job training on applicants of different companies held in the above stated (the address on the letterhead or can be different address).

The lectures and trainings provided by the said company are intended for the purpose of preparing the applicants of your company for a global competition and apprising them of different positve attitudes for their efficeincy.

Furthermore, the said lectures and trainings are intended to save your time, effort and expense in providing the applicants actual trials/tests in your workplace before deploying into actual job assignment.

Likewise, we conduct screening through their bio-data and resume to ensure that the applicants are qualified and fit to the kind of job your company is offering.

Hence, we invite you to refer to us your prospective applicants so that we may be able to provide with them series of lectures as well as actual / hands-on training on different machines which may be useful in the performance of their actual job.

Your prompt positive response is highly appreciated.

Very truly yours,

(Signature over printed name)
General Manager

This is an example of business letter offering services to other companies. If it is possible for you to share the nature of your business, I can make one for you.