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Can someone please correct the errors and suggest improvements?

Thank you

Dear John:

Whom would I contact about the condition of Pitch #2?



I'm aware of three players who were injured playing on field #2, one of whom, me, is now in crutches after tripping over the uneven surface, and another (of whom) was taken to hospital.



With our subs being so high and the bond being virtually irretrievable due to the excessive number of fines that can be imposed, I would at least expect a decent home ground to play on, being in the Division one league, not to mention a training ground that has proper lighting in place.



I hate to bicker, but I just think someone needs to be informed about this lest we lose more players to other clubs in 2011.

Yours sincerely,

Anon

(I'm not sure if I need a comma after #2. I think it needs to be there to show it modifies some earlier noun...)
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Dear John,

Who should I contact about the condition of Pitch #2?

At least
three players have been injured playing on field #2, including me. I am now on crutches after tripping over the uneven surface, and another player was taken to hospital.

With our subs so high and the bond virtually irretrievable because of the excessive number of fines that can be imposed, I would at least expect a decent home ground to play on, not to mention a training ground that has proper lighting in place, since we are in Division One.

I hate to complain, but I think someone needs to be informed about this lest we lose more players to other clubs in 2011.

Yours sincerely,

Anon
Comments  
Students: We have free audio pronunciation exercises.
Thanks!

I really have trouble writing. You make it look so easy! All your sentences are so easy to understand and simple. Hopefully, I will get there one day.

In line 2: Why did you use 'who' instead of 'whom'?

In line 5: Why did you use 'because of' rather than 'due to'?

In third to last line: Why did you remove 'just'?

Any comments about my writing?

Thank you
In line 2: Why did you use 'who' instead of 'whom'?-- Your greeting is to 'John', making it an informal letter. 'Whom' is nowadays overly formal (though grammatically correct in formal writing) in this situation, and makes you sound a bit pompous.

In line 5: Why did you use 'because of' rather than 'due to'?-- Strictly, 'due to' is an adjective (this is a pecadillo of mine; you may use 'due to' if you like-- many do.)

In third to last line: Why did you remove 'just'?-- It is rather whiny: if you are taking the time to pen this, then you clearly (not 'just') think someone needs informing.

Any comments about my writing?- I like it. Your points are made clearly and straightforwardly.