Dear all,

I am glad to post my own motivation letter here which has been revised under the instruction of Mountainhiker. Thanks a million for his big help. He is really a good guy, who is patient, efficient and ready to help others. You can see from the posts of the forum that he gives wise advice to those who need help and makes tailor-made suggestions for the revision of motivation letters.

This letter is finished with his dedicated help as well. Hope it will be of little help to you.

Your name

Your address

Your email


The name of the university

The address of the university

Dear Sir or Madam,

I wish to apply to the Master of XX program at XX University for the 2011 autumn term. This program is a concrete step towards my future career as a businessperson who understands and appreciates science and technology. My ultimate career objective is to hold a management position in banking or a consulting company in XX.

In 2010, I earned a bachelor degree with a specialization in industrial engineering from XX University in XX. Benefiting from the broad nature of industrial engineering, I have been exposed to a wide range of subjects from business to technology. Having studied the specialized courses, I have acquired the basic skills of systematic research, analytical thinking and information evaluation. Most importantly, they provided me with insight into business management combining with engineering science.

I was typically among the top three students in my classes. Furthermore, I was honoured to be the only student of my department who won the Excellent Bachelor Thesis of XX University. I studied handling technology innovation of XX Port, which is the world's largest coal export. While writing my thesis, I personally went to the loading and unloading locations to collect the data. In my thesis, I referred to more than sixty key technical articles. After my thorough and creative analysis, I recommended a novel solution resulting in increasing valuable production time of about one hour per day.

After graduating, I was selected as an Erasmus Mundus exchange student at the postgraduate programme XX. By studying at the programme, I became conversant with standard business practices and gained a deeper appreciation of the investment framework in the EU. I especially enjoyed Professor XX's lectures because they strengthened my understanding on economic analysis. After six months of intensive study, I passed all my twelve exams, with a grade of 20/20 in tax law and the highest mark in the other two courses.

Aside from the favourable learning environment of XX University, I most enjoyed its academic freedoms and active pluralism. With permission, I attended some management courses. These courses broadened my view of techniques of managerial accounting and management strategy. Moreover, I attended many academic activities, such as lectures and debates, which served to further my interest in business and economics. Equally important, I had the opportunity to raise challenging questions to internationally known scholars.

Apart from my studies, I acted as a student leader at our student union and volunteered in other activities such as Beijing Olympic Games. Also, I worked as a teaching assistant to Professor XX and assistant of manager in the summer internship at XX Company. Through these experiences, I strengthened my interpersonal skills by working with fellow team members and others.

There are four key reasons why I want to study at this program. First, I selected your program because of its primary focus on business with the expectation that students already possess a strong understanding of science. Second, Mr. XX, a fellow student of the program, has provided me with his thoughts about the program. From our conversations, I became excited to learn about the courses such as advanced marketing. Third, I wish to grow to be a manager who can combine the science of technology with the art of management. And last, Professor XX, who is the teacher of my mentor XX, encouraged me to study at XX Univeristy, where he has worked for ten years. I am thankful for his thoughtfulness and friendship.

Thank you for your attention and consideration. I look forward to your acceptance.

Yours sincerely,


Also, I have something to say about what I learned when creating the motivation letter.

  • 1. Write down whatever you want to involve in your letter. Do not mind how much these stuff would be.
  • 2. Be clearabout the thingsthat can show you are best and describe directly why you select the program of this university. Always remember to keep more focused on essential information of your letter and then remove the irrelevant part without hesitation. Sometimes, you will know how to do this from a reader's point of view. Imagine you are the admission officer who is reading the letter, what should you expect? And what is the most attractive way to make you continue reading the letter?
  • 3. Try to convey your exact meaning in a simple and direct way. As a non-native English speaker you may need some help from native speakers. But do not just change what the instructortells you. Try to be more active and initiative! Follow the guidance of your instructor and combine your ideas with his advice.
4. Make sure sufficient time for your iteration. That is a time-assuming job if you want to get a good letter. Be patient with it. More work, better results.

This is only my view about how to write a motivation letter. I am sorry that my English is not so good that I can describe all the things I get from the whole process. But I still hope it can be a little helpful.

Wow, this is very helpful! both the motivational letter and your advice. I will keep your advice and check often to make sure i am following it, because i find it a very useful summary!