This is a discussion thread · 58 replies
I sometimes hear about men who are in love with more than a woman at the same time. Maybe true love or maybe lust! On the other hand, there are some women also who can fall in love with 2 men at the same time. Some people think such women are not "emotionally stable" ... What about you? Do you think this is strange?
Looking forward to your replies.
this is my first 'real' post (without my introduction) in this forum nervous
Your question sounds very interesting.
I think that this question could not be answered absolutly. It depends on, how someone defines 'love'. In my personal opinion it is not possible to love two different persons at the same time. Because of this opinion I got a lot of trouble in the last time, because I do EVERYTHING for the woman I love. (I sometimes get called Mr. 100 percent =) ) Ans so I often got disappointed. Most of the women don't think like this. They think about a little adventure during some weeks or month, and then go on with the next guy. There is no passion while beein around with them. So these people would answer: Of course it is possible to fall in love with two men/women. Because they can split their heart, instead of me, who has only one heart to give.
Hope I could help you a little bit, to find an answer for yourself,
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Hi Metatron and welcome to this forum... I would like to thank you for your interesting reply... It has logic but also reveals what real love means to you. In a way, I think if a person is really in love, won't be able to slip his/her heart with someone else! But also think that there are some people out there, who can really be in love with 2 persons at the same time... I like to think of this kind of people as "perfectionnists" for they are looking for a "whole" and not a "part" ! mmmm... do I make sense ? Thanks again for your reply.
Metatron...because I do EVERYTHING for the woman I love.Do such men really exist?.. <sigh>
Welcome to the forum, by the way.
Hi, Shiroucat! Unless people know what love is (if they will ever find out what it is, hehe), I think it's kind of difficult to answer to your question. If love means simply a game of hormones, then I think yes, both men and women may be "in love" with more than one person. But I myself want to believe that love is more than just mere biology or chemistry, so, if a man or woman says that s/he is in love with several people at the same time, I'd think s/he doesn't really love any of them...
Do I sound pink-glassed?
By the way, have you read "The Art of Loving" by Erich Fromm, Shiroucat? I think you may like that book.
Thanks for your reply... No I do not think you sound pink-glassed but you seem to be romantic I will surely look for the book you recommend me to read, from its title I can tell it is an interesting book.
i'm against with do it .
I do believe such thing can happen though it is quite different from our cultural norms. We are taught through various media and means that people can only love one person at a time. What's more we are taught that people can find true love once or maximum twice in a life time (which makes the matter even more complex and difficult)..In reality people do fall in love sometimes while in a strong bond with another person. The real thing also that people end up not acting on most of thier feelings to avoid hurting their loved ones. This not lust, it may be true love with the care, kindness and constant worry for the well being of the other person. The other person may be treated as a friend and the feelings never or seldom communicated.
This happen all the time. Now if the feeling were communicated it becomes an emotional affair, if they are acted upon it becomes an affair. At that point the feelings dynamic start shifting with lots of pain and confusion (mostly), and the person has to decide where to end. Soemtimes, that decison would never take place and affairs of 20 or more years co-exist with stable marriages.
These situations are real. They are in litriture, in life and well documented everywhere. The question whether they are healthy or not is tough to answer, becasue we created our lines and boundries to what we consider "normal" but nature is quite different.
Multi-committed relationships did exist in ancient cultures and still exist today in many modern socities but without recognition in mainstream culture.
I hope this was helpful.
Anonymous When comes true love, other people around you are not imporant as that one that you love. Love at the same time two women (or men).........hm...probably it`s not love, but admiration and passion.Hi Anonymous,
Thanks for your reply. I am not sure if "true love" exists! I think that when we come older we become more mature in our feelings... for example a woman in her 20's does not "love" nor think as if she is in her 30's. Her needs change over the years as well as here view to different things among which is her "love" perception.
People are waiting to help.
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