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Please check my wrong grammar

Q. Some people think that having a job in the field that you are interested in is very important. Do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

My answer

I agree that having a job in the field that you are interested in is very important.

The first reason is that the job that I like makes me work a lot harder. Because I like to work, so it is both good for my company and me.

Another reason is that I don't get stressed out. Even if I get paid less, it is better. Because if I work at a company that I don't like, then I have to spend a lot of money on shopping, drinking etc. to get rid of stress.

For these reasons, I agree with this opinion.
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Hello, mr1bin.

I have been looking at all the test essays you have been submitting, and I want to advise you that you must begin making them longer, with more explanation and detail. You must also begin devising a [url=http://grammar.ccc.commnet.edu/grammar/composition/thesis.htm ] thesis statement[/url] for your introduction and a [url=http://grammar.ccc.commnet.edu/grammar/five_par.htm ] conclusion[/url] that is more than a repeated sentence.

Spend more time composing your essays.
Comments  
First, I am sorry that I have been too late to reply you.

I feel ashamed that even I am an English teacher, but I make a lot of mistakes.

I am teaching my students the easiest way, because they do not have enough time to learn one by one. That is why I taught the skills that is repeating the sentences.

I will try my best and... hope you can still take a look my essays. Take care!