Ambition is the desire for personal achievement. It provides the motivation and determination necessary to achieve goals in life. As human beings, we have ambitions. Some strive to become a doctor while some dream of becoming a teacher. We have desires since we were young and we all work hard to achieve our dreams. As a 16-year-old teenager, I want to become an estate manager of an oil palm plantation when I grow up.

The main reason I want to become an estate manager is because I love the wilds. Since I was young, I have enjoyed going to the forests. I love the wild plants in their natural habitats, such as the pitcher plants, wild orchids and the world-famous Rafflesia flower. If I become an estate manager of an oil palm estate, I get to wake up to smell of palm oil and take care of some oil palms in my dream workplace.

Secondly, I love to work and learn at the same time. Oil palms are interesting plants and I would love to do some studies on them. I have the opportunity to learn more about oil palms in my dream job than any book in the world. I get to plant them, take care of them and extract their palm oil. That’s not all, I might even get to learn about cross-breeding them! I can’t even imagine the number of possibilities open to me if I become an estate manager of an oil palm plantation in Sarawak.

I dream about working as an estate manager of an oil palm plantation because of the ways I can help the environment. As we all know, the resources on Earth are depleting fast and we will need to find alternatives to non-renewable resources, such as natural gas and petroleum. Besides that, some energy sources cause harm to the environment, especially nuclear energy. Palm oil has the potential of becoming an environmental-friendly energy source to take over the place of these non-renewable resources. As an oil palm estate manager, I can play my part in saving the environment by doing research on oil palms. I might discover something interesting and reveal it to the world.

I want to become an oil palm estate manager because of the good salary. According to a website, oil palm estate manager can easily earn around RM10000 per month. I would have the chance to live in a luxury life and I will never need to worry about money as I am financially stable. I can even contribute to society with the money I earned, such as making a donation to the old folks’ home and orphanage. I can provide a conducive living environment for my entire family. My children will not have to go through the difficulties I experienced during my childhood.

‘’The only place where success comes before work is in the dictionary,’’ Donald Kendall once said. As a student, I am working hard to achieve my dreams. I put in a lot of efforts in my studies, especially in the Biology subject so that I can do well in my public examinations next year. I am curious by nature so I love asking questions related to the life of oil palms, such as growth, extraction and reproduction. I also take extra lessons in Biology outside school to learn more about the life cycle of oil palms. I am certain that I will meet the qualifications of becoming an oil palm estate manager if I continue working hard.

In a nutshell, to achieve something big, you have to dream big. However, a dream will always be just a dream if we don’t put in hard work. There are thousands of people wanting to work in the oil palm industry, I am just one of them. Because of that, I strive to achieve the best results possible in my studies so that I can stand out among the ocean of people. I am certain that my hard work will pay off one day in the future. Until then, I will keep on doing my best.

This is my essay for an English writing competition which was held for teenagers between the age of 16 to 18.

I managed to get the 3rd place out of 30.

Are there any mistakes?

How do I improve my writing skills?
I have underlined areas for improvement and struck out redundant material:

Ambition is the desire for personal achievement. It provides the motivation and determination necessary to achieve goals in life. As human beings, we have ambitions. Some strive to become a doctor while some dream of becoming a teacher. We have desires since we were young and we all work hard to achieve our dreams. As a 16-year-old teenager, I want to become an estate manager of an oil palm plantation when I grow up.

The main reason I want to become an estate manager is because I love the wilds. Since I was young, I have enjoyed going to the forests. I love the wild plants in their natural habitats, such as the pitcher plants, wild orchids and the world-famous Rafflesia flower. If I become an estate manager of an oil palm estate, I get to wake up to smell of palm oil and take care of some oil palms in my dream workplace.

Secondly, I love to work and learn at the same time. Oil palms are interesting plants and I would love to do some studies on them. I have the opportunity to learn more about oil palms in my dream job than any book in the world. I get to plant them, take care of them and extract their palm oil. That’s not all, I might even get to learn about cross-breeding them! I can’t even imagine the number of possibilities open to me if I become an estate manager of an oil palm plantation in Sarawak.

I dream about working as an estate manager of an oil palm plantation because of the ways I can help the environment. As we all know, the resources on Earth are depleting fast and we will need to find alternatives to non-renewable resources, such as natural gas and petroleum. Besides that, some energy sources cause harm to the environment, especially nuclear energy. Palm oil has the potential of becoming an environmental-friendly energy source to take over the place of these non-renewable resources. As an oil palm estate manager, I can play my part in saving the environment by doing research on oil palms. I might discover something interesting and reveal it to the world.

I want to become an oil palm estate manager because of the good salary. According to a website, oil palm estate manager can easily earn around RM10000 per month. I would have the chance to live in a luxury life and I will never need to worry about money as I am financially stable. I can even contribute to society with the money I earned, such as making a donation to the old folks’ home and orphanage. I can provide a conducive living environment for my entire family. My children will not have to go through the difficulties I experienced during my childhood.

‘’The only place where success comes before work is in the dictionary,’’ Donald Kendall once said. As a student, I am working hard to achieve my dreams. I put in a lot of efforts in my studies, especially in the Biology subject so that I can do well in my public examinations next year. I am curious by nature so I love asking questions related to the life of oil palms, such as growth, extraction and reproduction. I also take extra lessons in Biology outside school to learn more about the life cycle of oil palms. I am certain that I will meet the qualifications of becoming an oil palm estate manager if I continue working hard.

In a nutshell, to achieve something big, you have to dream big. However, a dream will always be just a dream if we don’t put in hard work. There are thousands of people wanting to work in the oil palm industry, I am just one of them. Because of that, I strive to achieve the best results possible in my studies so that I can stand out among the ocean of people. I am certain that my hard work will pay off one day in the future. Until then, I will keep on doing my best.

As a side note, I hope you realize that the vast oil palm plantations of Malaysia and Indonesia are major causes of the destruction of natural habitat and the extinction of native species there.
Yes, I do know that the oil palm industry causes a lot of problems.

However, as the organiser was actually the company that buys palm oil from Sarawak,Malaysia, I had to follow the rules.

I have some questions. How do I make 'curious by nature' better? Naturally curious?

And what do I replace 'life' of 'luxury life' with? Luxury lifestyle?

'Depleting fast' into 'depleting'?

Wilds =Mother Nature? (I love to live in Mother Nature.)?
Teachers: We supply a list of EFL job vacancies
I have some questions. How do I make 'curious by nature' better? Naturally curious?-- You can, but 'curious by nature' is a nicer turn of phrase.

And what do I replace 'life' of 'luxury life' with? Luxury lifestyle?-- No, a better choice here is 'a comfortable lifestyle'.

'Depleting fast' into 'depleting'?-- No; 'being depleted fast'.

Wilds =Mother Nature? (I love to live in Mother Nature.)?- I love wilderness / I love nature / I love the natural world.
Thank you!

I just have more question regarding sentence structure.

I live a luxury life. OR I live in a luxury life.

I live a luxury lifestyle or I live in a luxury lifestyle.
I live a luxury life. OR I live in a luxury life.-- No

I live a luxury lifestyle or I live in a luxury lifestyle.--No

I have a luxurious lifestyle.
Students: Are you brave enough to let our tutors analyse your pronunciation?