Dear masters, I am here again. I encountered many problems when I went back to my old track preparing for the GRE test. And I am a little frustrated when preparing for the analytical writing section of GRE General Test.
The following is an issue topic that appears in the GRE issue pool. I really need your advices how to analyze this topic, how to write it, and how to organize a composition for it.

"How children are socialized today determines the destiny of society. Unfortunately, we have not yet learned how to raise children who can help bring about a better society."

Thanks in advance.
1 2
Emotion: crying I only see visitors to my post, but see no one giving me a reply. I was worried if I broke some rule here, so I checked the notice posted by Mr. Micawber carefully. Then I surprisingly found this rule:
"Do not simply ask us to write your essay or story for you, or to give you a list of ideas or thesis statements. We will not do this. "
I know it is impolite to ask you masters to give me ideas on how to write this essay, but I never ever expected you will write an essay for me.

Please consider my special situation. This topic is very hard to understand. And I have no idea at all how to analyze the speaker's claim and how to present my ideas either to concur with the speaker or disgree with him/her. Could you please? Just help me analyze the topic?

And if you think my request is a little too far, please tell me too. I don't hope you ignore my post.
Focus on one thing you don't like about how children behave, then talk about how they will act when they grow up.

e.g. Boys are still encourged to play with fire trucks and girls are told they should play with dolls. This sort of gender stereotyping is not healthy for the future of the society. blah blah blah

Now find your own example. Emotion: smile
Site Hint: Check out our list of pronunciation videos.
Thank you so much, Julielai!!!! It enlightens me greatly. Okay, I am going to write an essay under this guidance soon. Could you please help me edit it later after I post it here?

Incidentally, the background of this web was changed. But I don't know why I prefer the previous one. hehe.
Thank you so much, Julielai!!! It enlightens me greatly. I am going to write an essay under this guidance soon. Could you please help me edit it after I post it here?

Incidentally, the background of the web was changed. But I don't know why I prefer the previous one. hehe. Everything is fine here, and people are kind and helpful. The only probelm is the hoster of this web is not that good. It is sorta slow. Emotion: sad Do you notice that?
Here is my essay. Hope you will help me edit it. Thank you very much.

The speaker claims that the destiny of society is determined by how children are socialized today, however, we haven’t yet learned to raise children who can help bring about a better society. Our children are our future, and the leadership of society. I agree that how children are socialized will determine the destiny of society. As for the second prong of this dual claim that we have not yet learned how to raise children, however, I don’t concur with it at all. Because our government and society are making great effort to create a good environment for their growth and protect their future

How children are socialized correlates with the future of our society. Nowadays, our society is still plagued by the specters of gender stereotypes. Boys are still encouraged to like sports and play with fire trucks, and girls are always told they should play with dolls and stuffed animal. All the advertisements in magazines and television shows set a clear boundary that the blue baby clothes are for boys, and the pink baby clothes are for girls. Our children are surrounded by messages that children should do what they are expected to do. Basically, these gender stereotypes are from family, and reinforced by television shows, advertisements, and books. Unfortunately, they are unhealthy for the future of our society. They are destructive because they limit the children’s potential. For example, a boy who wants to be a dancer is often teased by his friends and stopped by his family. It represses the growth of the child. This boy may do have the talent on dancing. However, we don’t give him the chance to practice. Even more, we teased him, and stopped him. Meanwhile, the gender stereotypes create a gender bias in our society, and contribute to the inequality between male and female. They suppress the female contributions to social development. For example, a girl is generally expected to enjoy cooking, so women are often restrained to kitchen. It confirms the belief that men should do the things special to the male and women should do the things special to the female, and only in concord with that they will do well.

Furthermore, paralyzed families have negative influence on children and our society too. If a child lives in a family where parents have the ideas of sexism or racism, the child would be developed into having biased attitude toward female or other races later. And different structures of family have different impact on children’s growth. For example, some children may live in families that have two moms or two dads, and some children may live in families that have a single parent, gay parents. If a child is adopted, he/she would be upset when people asked who his/her “real” mom was.

As it comes to the second prong of the claim that we have not yet learned how to raise children who can help bring about a better society, I have to say the speaker lacks the close examination into the facts, and therefore doesn’t have defensible stand to support him. As the society develops so fast nowadays, people are more and more aware of the children’s future. Every year, our government invests many dollars on education. It passes many laws to improve the school condition, such as library, laboratory equipment, etc, protect children’s interests and rights, and ensure their healthy growth. Our society, too, creates a good environment for their growth, and lights their future. And each parent dedicates much time on instilling knowledge and the living technique to them every day, and besides, parents pay money to get them educated, and guarantee them a bright future.

In sum, since children are our future, how they are cultivated and how they are socialized determine the future of our society. However, we do invest much time and money in improving their education, in helping them healthily growth, and in ensuring they will have a bright future.
Students: We have free audio pronunciation exercises.
"How children are socialized today determines the destiny of society. Unfortunately, we have not yet learned how to raise children who can help bring about a better society."

The speaker claims that the destiny of society is determined by how children are socialized today, however, we haven’t yet learned to raise children in a way that can help bring about a better society. Our children are our future, and the leadership of society. I agree that how children are socialized will determine the destiny of society. (delete:As for the second prong of this dual claim that we have not yet learned how to raise children, however, I don’t concur with it at all. Because our government and society are making great effort to create a good environment for their growth and protect their future )(there isn't a second prong. Focus on the second sentence. Unfortunately, we have not yet learned how to raise children who can help bring about a better society.)

How children are socialized correlates with (wording) the future of our society. Nowadays, our society is still plagued by the specters of (tone) gender stereotypes. Boys are still encouraged to like sports and play with fire trucks, and girls are always told they should play with dolls and stuffed animal. All the advertisements in magazines and television shows set a clear gender boundary: (word deleted) the blue baby clothes are for boys, and the pink baby clothes are for girls. (delete: Our children are surrounded by messages that) children should do what they are expected to do are taught to behave according to their traditional gender roles. Basically, these gender stereotypes are taught by parents, and reinforced by television shows, advertisements, and books (you mean the media?). Unfortunately, they (what are they?) are unhealthy for the future of our society. They are destructive (wording problem) because they limit the children’s potential. For example, a boy who wants to be a dancer is often teased by his friends and stopped (wording) by his family. It represses (wording) the growth (wording) of the child. This boy may (delete do) have the (article) talent on (prep) dancing. However, we (why are you switching to we) don’t give him the chance to practice. Even more, we teased (tense) him, and stopped him. Meanwhile, the gender stereotypes create a gender bias in our society, and contribute to the inequality between male and female. They suppress the female contributions to (awkward) social development. For example, a girl is generally expected to enjoy cooking, so women are often confined to the kitchen. It confirms the belief that men should do the things expected of the male and women should do the things special to the female, and only in concord with that they will do well (what do you mean?).

Furthermore, paralyzed (wording) families have a negative influence on children and our society too. If (delete a child lives in a family where ) the parents have the ideas of sexism or racism (rephrase), the child would develop similar biased attitude (delete: towardS female or other races later). And different family structures have different impact on children’s growth. For example, some children may live in families that have two moms or two dads, and some children may live in families that have a single parent, or even gay parents. If a child is adopted, he/she would be upset when people asked (tense) who his/her “real” mom was. (the greater part of this paragraph does not contribute to your thesis)

(same here. I don't see the connection between this paragraph and the others) As it comes to the second prong of the claim that we have not yet learned how to raise children who can help bring about a better society, I have to say the speaker lacks the close examination into the facts, and therefore doesn’t have defensible stand to support him. As the society develops so fast nowadays, people are more and more aware of the children’s future. Every year, our government invests many dollars on education. It passes many laws to improve the school condition, such as library, laboratory equipment, etc, protect children’s interests and rights, and ensure their healthy growth. Our society, too, creates a good environment for their growth, and lights their future. And each parent dedicates much time on instilling knowledge and the living technique to them every day, and besides, parents pay money to get them educated, and guarantee them a bright future.

In sum, since children are our future, how they are cultivated and how they are socialized determine the future of our society. However, we do invest much time and money in improving their education, in helping them healthily growth, and in ensuring they will have a bright future.
Thank you so much, Julielai! I am going to rewrite it.
I think your second (first supporting) paragraph does not support your position. You assert we know how to raise children, but in the second paragraph you are giving examples of how uninformed and careless people are in raising kids.
Han
Students: Are you brave enough to let our tutors analyse your pronunciation?
Show more