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Hello,

Could you please correct my mistakes in this short essay. It`s not even an essay. I just had to talk about my favourite short story.

My favourite subject at school was always literatute. I like novels, poems, short stories.

My favouvrite short story is Maugham`s "The Unconquered." First of all because I like his style, the way he describes the relationship between people in this story. His dialogs are always very emotional.

I think the key to understanding why this short story is different from others lies in the whole content.

He was a very good psychologist and this makes "The Unconquered" so interesting. The relationships between all the heroes are very deep. The situation is very complicated.

The ending of the story makes it unique.

I think what she did is even worse than what the soldier did.

Thank you
Comments  
Other than your using British spelling (favourite vs. favorite), the problem with this essay is not the grammar of individual sentences. The problem is that you need to link the sentences together, so that one thought flows out of the next. You also need to give details, not generalities. Only the last line gives a detail (and we don't know what it means unless we also have read the story.)

Here is a sample of how you could improve your report, make it more interesting.
(Cross-outs are the old wording; boldfaces are the new; brackets are my notes.)


My favorite favourite subject at school was always literatute. I like all kinds of literature, including novels, poems, short stories. One of my favorite favouvrite short stories is Maugham`s "The Unconquered." First of all, because I like his style, the way he describes the relationship between people in this story. He uses dialogue to make an emotional point and establishes a deep relationship between the characters. His dialogs are always very emotional.
[new paragraph]

I think the key to understanding why this short story is different from others lies in Maugham's whole approach. A good psychologist, he begins with a complicated situation, which he slowly reveals to us, then brings the story to an unexpected ending. the whole content. We are left trying to decide which character acted worse, the woman or the solider. This uncertainly helps make "The Unconquered" truly unique.

He was a very good psychologist and this makes "The Unconquered" so interesting. The relationships between all the heroes are very deep. The situation is very complicated.
The ending of the story makes it unique.
I think what she did is even worse than what the soldier did.
Doctor D, I'm a little curious as to why the British spelling of "favourite" became a concern that you altered to improve the content of the essay?
Students: Are you brave enough to let our tutors analyse your pronunciation?
Hello,

Thank you so much. I am asked to speak about it in a section of the TOEFL test. But the problem is that I don`t know wheather I am allowed to present an essay that has already been corrected. Is that fair?

Could you help me please?
Hello,

Thank you very much. It really helped me.

Nina
I automatically standardize spelling (just for my peace of mind). Also, I am not sure if the British spelling "favour" is standard there or simply an acceptable variation.
Students: We have free audio pronunciation exercises.
I cannot tell you what is acceptable in this case. Perhaps there is someone in authority whom you could ask.
Hello,

Thank you.

Nina