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not an unfunny jokes in the lot

great job anita and strangeboy
A blonde with two red ears went to her doctor. The doctor asked her what had had happened to her ears?

"I was ironing a shirt and the phone rang - but instead of picking up the phone I accidentally picked up the iron and stuck it to my ear."

"Oh Dear!" the doctor exclaimed in disbelief. "But .. what happened to your other ear?"

"The son-of-a-*** called back."
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In a crowded city at a crowded bus stop, a beautiful young woman was waiting for the bus. She was decked out in a tight leather mini Skirt with matching tight leather boots and jacket. .

As the bus rolled up and it became her turn to get on, she became aware that her skirt was too tight to allow her leg to come up to the height of the first step on the bus. Slightly embarrassed and with a quick smile to the bus driver she reached behind her and unzipped her skirt a little thinking that this would give her enough slack to raise her leg. Again she tried to make the step onto the bus only to discover she still couldnt!.

So, a little more embarrassed she once again reached behind her and unzipped her skirt a little more and for a second time attempted the step and once again, much to her chagrin she could not raise her leg because of the tight skirt. So, with a coy little smile to the driver she again unzipped the offending skirt to give little more slack and again was unable to make the step..

About this time the big Texan that was behind her in the line Picked her up easily from the waist and placed her lightly on the step of the bus. .

Well, she went ballistic and turned on the would-be hero, Screeching at him, "How dare you touch my body!! I don
t even know who you are!".

At this the Texan drawled "Well ma''am normally I would agree with you but after you unzipped my fly three times, I kinda figured that we was friends."
Q: Why do men prefer intelligent women?
A: Opposites attract.
Lem: ''I got fired from my job as a bank guard.''
Clem: ''That's awful. What happened?''

Lem: ''Well a thief came in to rob a bank. I drew my gun. I told him that if he took one more step, I'd let him have it.''

Clem: ''What did thief do then?''

Lem: ''He took one more step so I let him have it. I didn't want that stupid gun anyhow!''
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Excerpted from an article which appeared in the Dublin Times about a bank robbery on March 2.

Once inside the bank shortly after midnight, their efforts at disabling the security system got underway immediately.

The robbers, who expected to find one or two large safes filled with cash & valuables, were surprised to see hundreds of smaller safes throughout the bank.

The robbers cracked the first safe's combination, and inside they found only a small bowl of vanilla pudding.

As recorded on the bank's audio tape system, one robber said, "At least we'll have a bit to eat." The robbers opened up a second safe, and it also contained nothing but vanilla pudding.

The process continued until all safes were opened.

They did not find one pound sterling, a diamond, or an ounce of gold.

Instead, all the safes contained covered bowls of pudding.

Disappointed, the robbers made a quiet exit, each leaving with nothing more than a queasy, uncomfortably full stomach.

The newspaper headline read...............................

hi! I am ayça,I want to chat with you sure if you want that.I am from Turkey,I am 17 and Iam a student at Anatolian high school 2 class.Can you send a message to me?I will wait,see you later.(note:my e-mail )byeee;)))))
Jaswinder awoke during the night to find that her husband Santa Singh was not in bed.

She put on her robe and went downstairs. He was sitting at the kitchen table. He appeared to be deep in thought, just staring at the wall. She saw him wipe a tear from his eye.

'What's the matter dear? Why are you down here at this time of night?' she asked.

'Do you remember 20 years ago when we met and you were only 16?' Santa asked.

'Yes I do.' she replied.

'Do you remember when your father caught us when we were making out secretly in your room?'

'Yes I remember.'

'Do you remember your father when he shoved that gun in my face and said, 'Either you marry my daughter or spend twenty years in jail'?'

'Yes I do', she replied.

Santa wiped another tear from his cheek and said, 'You know I would have gotten out today.'
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A man died and went to into the skies. An angel met him at the Gates of Heaven and said, 'Before you meet with God, I thought I should tell you - we've looked at your life, and your really didn't do anything particularly good or bad. We're not at all sure what to do with you. Can you tell us anything you did that can help us make a decision?'

The newly arrived soul thought for a moment and replied, 'Yeah, once I was driving along and came upon a woman who was being harassed by a group of goons. So I pulled over, got out my tire iron, and went up to the leader of the gang. He was a big, muscular, hairy guy with tattoos all over his body and a ring pierced through his nose. Well, I tore the nose ring out of his nose, and told him he and his gang had better stop bothering the woman or they would have to deal with me!'

'I'm impressed,' The angel responded, 'When did this happen?'

'About two minutes ago,' came the reply.
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