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Can anyone find any mistake, gramitical or semantic, in this application?

body of application is as follows:

It is respectfully stated that due to certain unavoidadable circumstances I could not attend the school for three days and have been fined Rs.30. Since i belong to a very poor family, i cannot afford to pay this fine.

I, therefore, very humbly request you to remit my fine. I shall be very thankful to you for this.

Yours obediently,


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Due to certain unavoidadable circumstances I could not attend the school for three days and have been fined Rs.30. Since I belong to a very poor family, Icannot afford to pay this fine.

I, therefore, very humbly request that you to remit my fine. I shall be very thankful to you for this.
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That depends on the usual expressions of politeness in your particular culture. It would not be used in BrE, and the equivalent "With respect," is really only used if you are going to disagree with someone.
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Thanks Nona the brit, for your help.
but what about starting it with It is respectfully stated that due to.........
is it correct?
 Lil' Ruby Rose's reply was promoted to an answer.
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It's also not clear who is respectfully stating that when you say 'it is'. It sounds as though they wrote to you and respectfully stated that you had been absent and were to be fined.

If it is you, why do you need to 'respectfully state' their own actions back to them..it just doesn't make sense to me. Normally we'd only use that when we are telling someone something they don't want to hear, saying something that could be seen as disrespectful, or are disagreeing with them. You might respectfully ask that the fine be remitted, ok, but you don't need to respectfully just repeat facts. Why would they think that this might be a disrespectful thing to do?