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Hi teachers. Please correct and improve the sentence in bold if necessary. Are 'goes' and 'breaking' ideal here? Also, does the rest of the paragraph look OK? Thank you.


He picks up a chair and throws it at the window, but it just bounces off. He tries again... and again. The glass finally starts to crack. He picks up the chair and swings it at the window. It goes through the glass, breaking a large hole in it.

Comments  
anonymousAre 'goes' and 'breaking' ideal here?

They work.

anonymousAlso, does the rest of the paragraph look OK?

The ellipsis looks like amateur typography. He throws it, then he throws it twice more without ever having retrieved it. If the chair goes through the glass, he can't have hold of it—it would help to know how he was holding it and what part went through the glass. How large is a large hole? We know it broke, so "breaking" is not ideal, actually. "Making" or "leaving" would be better, but glass usually doesn't behave like that. The whole pane should shatter, and if it doesn't, we need to know why. You really need to bear down and get the sense of things right when you write descriptions.