I've written this essay and planned to contribute it to a local(China) paper for English learner. Could you pick out the grammar mistakes in this essay? Or can you give me some advice on it? I'll appreciate your help.

World Wide Web Makes Me a World Wide Worm

I can't live without water.
I can't live without air.
I can't live without food.
And, I can't live without the web.

I'm an experienced netizen, for I started to surf the Internet about six years ago. At that time, World Wide Web (WWW) had a funny nickname called Word Wide Wait. It would take you AN HOUR to download a song in MP3 format. Moreover, you had to pray that the Internet connection wouldn't break up.
But today, things are getting better. Most of us connect the Internet via ADSL instead of 56K Modem. That means we have a better web spead and a more stable connection. Thus we can make better use of the Internet. I usually spend an hour on the web per week, as I'm quite busy during the school terms. But when holidays arrive, I'll become a professional netizen, spending most of the time online.
You may wonder what I do online. Well, there're huge numbers of things to do on the web. The virtual world is really wonderful. In the Web 2.0 era, you're the commander, you are the controller, you are the leading role and you are everything! Time's person of 2006 is YOU -- netizen. You can do whatever you can imagine on the web. You can blog, you can podcast, you can get what you want by googling it and you can share your feelings and ideas via MySpace. You still use a contact book? It's out of fashion! We use Facebook instead. Do you guys still watch TV nowadays? Oh, come on! You only need to watch YouTube. You can throw away your encyclopedias, as Wikipedia is right here for you. Telephones have been replaced by Skype. Auctions have been replaced by eBay. Perhaps, one day we'll be replaced by robots...
I've got my own website. I pay the web hosting and domain fee through Paypal. I comment on a book on Douban. I release my own records via Tudou. I do shopping at Dangdang. I do everyhing I want to on the web. Sometimes I think I actually live on the web. I can't imagine what my life will be without the Internet.
In the era of your own and in the world which is powered by you, you really should make your voice heard through the web. And I wish you a good luck in advance.
Yes there are grammar mistakes in this essay. Depending on the required format there are some errors that may exsist with the format.
Could you please tell me the mistakes in detail? I'll be grateful for that.