The French Revolution developed the perception of freedom, human rights, equality and socialism in the world and marched mankind towards the modem era. In a retrospective view, the French Revolution is an historical and social landmark which influenced other global events such as the American Civil War and whose ideas are still being implemented and more importantly are still being fought for worldwide nowadays. We believe that the ideas that sparked and were fought for during the French Revolution are still relevant in the global perspective as well as in our individual worlds and private lives. Throughout our school years we learn about people and nations who were depressed under tyranny and totalitarian regimes. We learn about it in literature, when we read such books as George Orwell's "1984" and "Animal Farm" and as a part of the educational program in history. Thus, we have come to appreciate these illusive and desirable concepts of freedom and equality. Therefore, choosing the French Revolution which portraits these ideals as a subject was inevitable.
Hi,

Your last sentence doesn't sound correct to me.
Therefore, choosing the French Revolution which portraits these ideals as a subject was inevitable.


I thinkl you meant "portrays" as opposed to "portraits"? And then make sure that everything agrees. "ideals" "subjectS"?

MountainHiker
Hello Guest

In addition to MountainHiker's comments:

1. Grammer > Grammar

2. 'still being implemented and more importantly are still being fought for worldwide nowadays' - 'still...nowadays'?

3. 'the ideas that sparked and were fought for' - 'sparked' is active, 'were fought for' passive; awkward.

4. Tyranny etc - did you mean 'depressed' or 'oppressed'?

5. 'these illusive and desirable concepts' - did you mean 'elusive'?

6. 'Therefore, choosing the French Revolution which portraits these ideals as a subject was inevitable.' I wonder whether you meant:

'Therefore, choosing the French Revolution (which embodies these ideals) as a subject was inevitable.'

MrP
Students: Are you brave enough to let our tutors analyse your pronunciation?
Hi Moderators,

I don't know why nobody ever coment on my post of motivation letter.Will you please take a look at it.
here is the link
http://www.EnglishForward.com/ShowPost.aspx?PostID=61491