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Does 'as of now' in the begining and at the end of sentences has different meaning?

Does 'as of now ' in sentence '1' below here provide the meaning as 'at present' /'now'/'nowadays'/'right now'/for now

and in sentence '2' it means 'from now onwards'/ 'henceforth'

1.As of now I find myself getting nervous and unable to go there.

2. I find myself getting nervous to go there as of now.
Comments  
I don't see that. If 'as of now' is assigned either of the meanings 'from this point in time forward' or 'at this moment', then #1 and #2 are synonymous in intent.
Iam sorry I did not get you properly.. Do you mean 'as of now' = 'at the present time' ? or the word 'as of now' does not have any place in my sentences??
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I did not say anything about 'at the present time'. I said that for the two meanings I presented, your sentences are synonymous. If you choose one meaning of 'as of now' for one sentence and another meaning for the second sentence, then of course they will have different meanings.
Ok that means I can take my sentence 1 as correct and it means [' at present' I find myself getting.....]
As of now I find myself getting nervous and unable to go there

can it be written as

At present/ presently I find myself getting nervous and unable to go there..

pls just to confirm..
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Yes, that is possible.

difference between as of now and currently

anonymousas of now

That is casual or inappropriate.

anonymous currently

That is standard.

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