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Dear teachers,

Here’s a text I tried to translate. I have proposed many translations for several French sentences; would you please tell me which ones fit best? And I would be grateful if you could tell me if the words between parentheses should be added to the translation.
I thank you very much for your patience.TEXT:“ Bonjour, jeune homme. Qu’est-ce qui ne va pas?- Eh bien ! docteur, je me sens fatigué depuis une quinzaine de jours et je ne dors pas très bien.- Qu’est-ce que vous faites, monsieur ? Vous êtes étudiant ?- Oui, docteur, et je suis en pleine préparation d’examen.- Ah ! un peu de surmenage sans doute. Otez votre chemise, je vais vous ausculter. Respirez fort... Vous avez quel âge ?- Je vais avoir 19 ans.- Arrêtez de respirer... Vous ne sortez pas trop le soir ?- Oh non ! docteur, je n’ai pas le temps !- Toussez... Vous fumez ?- Oui, un paquet de cigarettes par jour, à peu près.- Plus ou moins ?- Eh bien ! quelquefois un peu plus d’un paquet; mais je n’avale pas la fumée.-C’est trop pour votre âge, croyez-moi. Vous devriez réduire au moins de moitié. Et même si vous pouviez arrêter de fumer ça serait très bien. Votre pouls est un peu lent. Vous faites beaucoup de sport ?- Oui, en temps ordinaire. De la natation et du volley.- Montez sur la balance... 60 kg. C’est peu. Vous avez bon appétit?- Non, on ne peut pas dire ça. »TRANSLATION :« Good morning, young man. (1) What seems to be the matter / (2) What’s the matter / (3) What’s wrong?”

“Well, Doctor, I have been feeling tired for the last/past fortnight/fifteen/a couple of days, and
(1) I haven’t been sleeping well / (2) I don’t sleep very well.”“(1) What do you do (for a living) / (2) What is your occupation, sir? Are you a student?”“Yes, Doctor, and (1) I am (right) in the middle of my exam revision/preparations / (2) at the moment/presently I am (busy) revising/preparing/getting ready for my exams.”Oh!/Ah/Eh/Hum hum (?), (1) You must be a little overworked / (2) you must have overworked yourself / (3) A little overworked I suppose / (4) A little overwork, no doubt. (5) Take off your shirt, I will examine you / (6) Will you take off your shirt, please? I'm going to examine you. (7) Breathe deeply (please) / (8) Take a deep breath... How old are you?”“I am (1) going on (for) / (2) nearly nineteen / (3) I'm going to be 19.”“Hold your breath / Stop breathing... (1) You don’t go out too often at night/in the evening, do you? / (2) Do you often go out in the evening?”“Oh, no, Doctor, I have no time / don’t have time for that.”“Cough, (please?)... Do you smoke?”“Yes, about a pack of cigarettes / one packet a day.”“More or less?”

“Well, sometimes a little/bit more than one pack / a packet; (but) I don’t inhale (the smoke) (though).” [is it possible to have a semi colon before “but”?]
“That’s/It’s (far) too much for your age, believe me. You should (at least) cut it down (at least) by half (at least) [where should the adverb be placed?]. And if you could stop smoking altogether that would be great/excellent/a very good thing. Your pulse/heart beat is a little slow. Do you exercise a lot / practise a lot of sport?”“ (1) Yes, I usually/normally do. I swim and play volley ball. / (2) As a rule, yes. Swimming and volley ball.”“Get on / Step onto the scales (please)... 60 kilos. It’s not much. Do you have a good appetite?”“No, one/I can’t say (that) I eat a lot / much.”
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I cannot vouch for the French, but this is what I suggest for the English. Words left in parentheses are optional:

« Good morning, young man. (1) What seems to be the matter

“Well, Doctor, I have been feeling tired for the last/past few/a couple of days, and (1) I haven’t been sleeping well .”
(1) What do you do (for a living)? Are you a student?”
“Yes, Doctor, and I am (right) in the middle of preparing/getting ready for my exams.”
Ah, A little overworked I suppose (6) Will you take off your shirt, please? I'm going to examine you. (8) Take a deep breath... How old are you?”
“I am (2) nearly nineteen / (3) I'm going to be 19.”
“Hold your breath (2) Do you often go out in the evening?
“Oh, no, Doctor, I have no time / don’t have time for that.”
“Cough, (please?)... Do you smoke?”
“Yes, about a pack (of cigarettes) a day.”
“More or less?”

“Well, sometimes a little/bit more than a/one pack (but) I don’t inhale (though).[Choose one conjunction only]” [is it possible to have a semi colon before “but”?-- yes, but it reads over-formally]
“That’s too much for your age, believe me. You should cut down (at least) by half (at least). And if you could stop smoking altogether that would be a very good thing. Your pulse/heart beat is a little slow. Do you exercise a lot?
(1) Yes, I usually/normally do. I swim and play volley ball.”
“Get on / Step onto the scales (please)... 60 kilos. You're a little underweight. Do you have a good appetite?”
“No, I can’t say (that) I eat a lot / much.”
.
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Hi,

Here's my version.

CliveEmotion: smile

:« Good morning, young man. What’s the matter?

“Well, Doctor, I have been feeling tired for the last couple of weeks, and I don’t sleep very well.”

What do you do, sir? You are a student?”

“Yes, Doctor, and I am right in the middle of preparing for my exams.”

Ah! A little overworked, no doubt. Take off your shirt, I'm going to examine you. Breathe deeply . . . How old are you?”

“I'm going to be 19.”

“Hold your breath ... (1) You don’t go out too often in the evening, do you? “

Oh, no, I don’t have the time.”

“Cough... You smoke?”

“Yes, about a pack a day.”

“More or less?”

“Well, sometimes a little more than a pack; but I don’t inhale .”

That’s too much for your age, believe me. You should cut down at least by half. And if you could stop smoking altogether that would be good. Your pulse is a little slow. Do you do a lot of sport?”

“ (1) Yes, normally. Some swimming and some volley-ball.”

“Get on the scales... 60 kilos. It’s not much. Do you have a good appetite?”

“No, I wouldn't say that.”
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Comments  
Thank yo very much to both of you. [Y]

Are there expressions that are rather British or American, or is there no difference whatsoever between all the sentences you have both suggested?

e.g. (1) "What seems to be the matter" = is it more a British expression than American ?

(2) "I don't have time (OR) I have no time for that" = Br / "I don't have the time for that" = Am ?

(3) Could there be other differences ?

Best regards,

Hela
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