i need some one that can help me rewrite this to make this topic Controversial



Controversial and yes i am new to this ):




1. Introduction:

  1. Attention Statement
1. Who here in this class has a favorite Major League Baseball Player?

2. Does your favorite baseball player take steroids of any kind?

3. Define Steroids - Anabolic steroids are synthetically produced variants of naturally occurring male testosterone.

  1. Thesis Statement
Steroids ruins the body, baseball players used them to cheat and have a better score when they retire and try to go into the hall of fame

  1. Significance to Audience and Credibility
-Congress Stepped up on baseball for steroids on March 17, 2005

-A Study from American Journal of Physics detailing how a small increase in muscle mass could increase the amount of homeruns a professional-baseball-level player would hit by over 50 percent.

- A Study showed that 50 to 85% of baseball players have used steroids in baseball

  1. Preview Main Points
-Today I am going to talk about baseball players that have used steroids and that denied of using steroids, Congress Meeting that baseball players testified in court about steroids, MLB Steroid Policy that congress added, the affects to a baseball players’ body and the Olympics



2. Body Argument Paragraph

A. Argument #1
Baseball Players using steroids to break a Major League record and being caught later after breaking the record

Fact- During the decade that followed the 1994 major league baseball strike, Mark McGwire, Sammy Sosa, and Barry Bonds each surpassed Roger Maris’ homerun record, which had stood largely unchallenged for over 30 years.



A. Barry Bonds – the homerun king that surpassed hank Aaron’s homerun record of 755 and currently has 762 homeruns. Fact about bonds – he was indicted on perjury and obstruction of justice charges on November 15, 2007. The indictment alleges that Bonds lied while under oath about his alleged use of steroids.

B. Jose Canseco- in 1988, Canseco became the first player in major league history to hit at least 40 homers and steal at least 40 bases in the same year by hitting 42 home runs and stealing 40 bases.
Fact- he stated on 60 minutes and his book Juiced that as many as 85% of players used steroids and he admitted he used steroids throughout his career in baseball.

C. Rafael Palmeiro- he is one of the four players to hit 3,000 hits and had 500 homeruns

Fact- he testified to congress saying “I never Used Steroids Period” on March 17, 2005, but on August 1, 2005 he was tested positive for steroids and then he retired after his suspension was lifted.

- Next I am going to talk about how Congress stepped up to Baseball

C. Argument #2
-Congress Steps on the Baseball organization

The Congressional panel continued to argue that the penalties were not tough enough, and took action.

1) Fact- according to wikipedia.org, many players including Rafael Palmeiro, McGwire, Sosa, Canseco and Curt Schilling were summoned on March 17, 2005 to testify in front of congress. During the session, Canseco admitted his steroid use which he claims was perfectly acceptable during the 1980’s and early 1990’s. Palmeiro denied all steroid use during is career, while McGwire refused to discuss the issue, repeatedly stating “I’m not here to discuss the past”.



- Next I will talk about the steroid policy that MLB Changed, how steroids affect the body and the Olympics

D. Argument #3
-MLB Steroid Policy (new rules added by Congress)

A. Old policy –

-Fact according to Wikipedia.org, this program replaced the previous steroid testing program under which, for example, no player was even suspended in 2004. Under the old policy, which was made in 2002, a first-time offense would only result in treatment for the player, and the player would not even be named.

1st positive test 10 games suspension

2nd positive test 30 games suspension

3rd positive test 60 games suspension

4th positive test 1 full year suspension

5th positive test Commissioners decision

B. New Policy

In November 2005, MLB owners and players approved even tougher penalties for positive tests than the ones in place during the 2005 season. Under the new rules

1st positive test 50 games suspension

2nd positive test 100 game suspension

3rd positive test lifetime suspension

C. Affect to Baseball Players Body’s and the Olympics

A. Affects men Body

Fact- According to deadiversion.usdoj.gov, the length of time that steroids stay in the body varies from a couple of days to more than 12 months. Here are the causes of the use of steroids, baldness, development of breasts, shrinkage of testicles and loss a function in a testicle.

B. Olympics- the Olympics committee knows that if the USA baseball team plays in the Olympics using steroids, it is almost 90% sure they will win the gold medal every time they play in the Olympics

Fact- MLB’s previous reluctance to take a hard line on drugs was widely seen as one of the main reasons why baseball has been dropped from the Olympics, effective in 2012.

3. Conclusion

A. Review Main Points
Now I hope everyone knows why baseball players use them to break a record in baseball, how congress stepped up in baseball, how the policy improved, how steroids affects the body of baseball players, and how the Olympics step their foot in MLB

B. Remind of Significance

I hope everyone has a better understanding on why Congress stepped up to baseball and also how steroids increase hitting power by 50-80%

B. Dynamic Closure
So next time when you see Baseball players on Headline news, you can just tell that he did use some sort of performance enhancement drug. If anyone plays baseball, don’t use steroids to mess up your body instead go to a gym and workout to see more improvement in yourself than using illegal performance enhancement drugs that can hurt your body
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There's not much controvertial here - is that what you want? You can make an argument that says that none of these people should be in the Hall of Fame. The "guilty until proven innocent" is hardly an American idea, but there are a lot of people who say that these people don't belong in Cooperstown. If baseball players knew they would be banned from the Hall of Fame unless they had consistently negative tests, maybe they'd be more eager to take the tests.

Whatever it was you wanted to say about Congress, "step on" is not the right verb.
yes please i need help with this and my project is due on monday please the more help the better
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Venom, I'm sorry, but we don't write essays for people. This has to be something that you research yourself and form your own opinions on. If you have something that you've written that you'd like help with, you can post that.
grammer geek its posted i need to make sure if this is ok if not try to help me reword somethings to get to the paper to be conterverail
I gave you my suggestion on how to make it more controvertial.
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i dont see any help what so ever i mean someone else help another person with the same problem i am having and he got help why cant i get help with the fixing and stuff like that
You want help with grammar or with the main idea of your essay? You still need a strong "controvertial" theme. It's YOUR essay. What do you think is controvertial about the entire subject? What are your ideas?

Perhaps that "someone else" will come here too.
Just throw in some big names and your opinion on the theme. Its controvertial when theres an arguement.

To be honest with all you, Im so tired of this who steriod sh*t. "Omg A-Rod did steriods!!! no hall of fame fer hiimm!!!! Ahhh!!!"

Shut up. Just shut up. Oswalt quoted saying that he didnt deserve the hall of fame because he cheated the game and him from making money. Hmm... last time I checked Steriods of any form was a hormone stimulant/exsessive muscle growth assistant... no baseball skill increaser. The MLB just needs to have better ways of checking. To make such a big deal about it? No. You dont get better using steriods you get bigger. You get stronger. However, your playing skills will remain the same. Give me the strongest NFL player you can find me and I can garruntteeeeeeeeeee he will come close to hitting that fence the way these Major Leaguers do. You still need to be able to hav that perfection of a swing. You need that stride. That hip rotation. Or for Clemens the mechanics to hit high velocity.

Im sick of the steriod scandle crap. Its immature now.
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