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I have several sentence correction from my English homework. I tried to fix the sentence, but i am not sure if they are right. Can you guys give me some advices and suggestions?

Original sentence is in bold, my correction is in italic.

7. Then he thanks God it was only a dream. (2)

Then, he thanks God that it was only a dream.

8. The cars fell in to the crevices. (1)

The cars fell into the crevices

9. The tremendous impact hit the Southern part of Los Angeles exactly at 9:00 o’clock evening time…(2)

The tremendous impact had hit the southern part of Los Angeles at exactly 9’clock evening time.

10. Suddenly everyone was covered in debris….(2)

Suddenly, everyone was covered by debris….

11. After couple of hour the oxygen in the ship……(3)

After couple hours, the oxygen inside the ship……

12. She belives that a canal that goes trough the ocean….(2)

She believes there is a canal that goes trough the ocean….

13. The earthquake when on for about 5 min. (2)

The earthquake went on for about 5 minutes.

14. Upon arriving, the same thought occured the entire crew. (2)

Upon arriving, the entire crew shared/had the same thought.

15. By time they arrived it was too late. (2)

By the time they arrived it was already too late.

16. All of a sudden a strange thing started happening. (1)

All of a sudden strange things started happening.

17. All you can hear in the city was screams and cries…(2)

All you can hear from the city were screams and cries….
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Comments  (Page 2) 
Anon, what do you mean? Which sentences do you want to use, and for what reason?
Efficient making decisions in stresful situations.
Students: We have free audio pronunciation exercises.
Hi,
Efficient making decisions in stresful situations.

I can make decisions efficiently in stressful situations.

Clive
I processed the discharged papers of my daughter to the hospital.
AnonymousI processed the discharged papers of my daughter to the hospital.

I processed the papers to discharge my daughter from the hospital.
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