Studying the English language in an English-speaking country is the best but not only way to learn the language. Do you agree with this statement.

Hi all.
I'm a new user of this forum. Coming straight to the point, I am taking IELTS soon. I need your help regarding Essay Writing and that's why I'm going to write an essay on the topic and I urge ...... please correct me where I'm wrong. Many thanks in anticipaton. Topic is,

"Studying the English language in an English-speaking country is the best but not only way to learn the language. Do you agree with this statement. Write 250 words".

"English has become a global language. While it's importance now cannot be subsided, it is essential to learn and get a hold of this language in due time. There are two types of schools of thoughts portraying different opinions regarding studying it. One says that a language must be learned in the country where it belongs to. Others are for the opinion of not being restricted to the above statement. I think, not a best, but a better way of learning a language is to study it in it's native land.

Expanding the view after looking closely I've come to the fact that one of the biggest advantage of learning English language in an English speaking country is the availability of enviroment possessing all the pre-requisites required to get a command on the language. Moreover, a student has the bonus of getting first-hand information and practice while interacting with the teachers and the native speakers as well. He is also aware of correct accent and pronounciation from the beginning. After all, he is able to get along with the barrier resisiting him to be familiar with the alien language more quickly.

Another important fact which goes strongly in favor of it is the developement of innate propensity towards speaking it, providing comparatively more competitive sorrounding for students. A student soon gets rid of the hesitation and acquires a maintained tendency of being accurate and appropriate in verbal contacts. Moreover, the time spent to accumilate all the efforts is less in contrast.

In a word, definitely learning a language in the country of it's origination is more beneficial than being familiarized with it otherwise."

My questions are as follows:
1. Is the essay to the point and focused?
2. Thoughts are conveyed properly or not?
3. Grammatical mistakes?
4. What about complex structures?
5. What vocablary could be used instead of .....?
6. Is "conclusion" too short?
7. Finally ..... how much band can I score out of 9 optimistically?

Help me guys....I've just 5 days left to go. Other suggestions will be higly appreciated.
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Hi Aaron, welcome to the forums:

Here's an example of a 'briefly corrected' first paragraph:

"English has become a global language, its becoming increasingly important to become familiar with it. There are two schools of thought, presenting different opinions, regarding the best way to study. One says that a language must be learned in the country of origin, another does not restrict itself to the above statement. I tend to agree with the former."

It is a little long-winded but a good start. Note: You must use 'its' correctly (no apostrophe). I'll post some more comments soon.
Hi Hitchhiker.
Many many thanks. I really appreciate it. Yes...I want to overcome the problem of being prolix in style. Thank you again and I'll wait anxiously for the next comments.
Cheers.
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Hey guys...where r u? plz fellows... I'm waiting for ur comments....its really very urgent.
Any tips n tricks regarding essay writing, reading module; sentence/s that can be used in any essay, etc.
Hitchhicker ! .....I've just two more days left to study. Now I'm just sitting and waiting ur reply keeping my fingers crossed for a good day.
Atleast some well wishes!!
Good luck Aaron. Hey, are you the Aaron I know in a part of Japan good for winter sports?
Thank you Mike. No I'm not the one, I'm residing in Emirates.
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Last paragraph starts;
In a word, definitely learning a language in the country of it's origination is more beneficial than being familiarized with it otherwise."

Maybe replace 'word' with 'nutshell', or start that paragraph with 'To summarise ...
In a nutshell, learning a language in a country where it is spoken by the native population is definitely more beneficial than being learning it elsewhere.
Thanks a lot Mike. I'll definitely follow ur instruction. Thanks again!
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