The nose...
Whiffed the fragrance
of your Love

The mouth...
Spread the smile
of our togetherness

The ears...
Traced the footsteps
Of our Life

The eyes in my brain...
Embraced extended arms
of eternal bliss

Life for me...
Against dark background
has lit up brilliance.

I am blind...
I am in Love...
1 2 3
Hi Anita,

You got this kind of touch to choose your words, your expressions, your metaphors…

I find your poems full of signals, warmth, love, kindness…

Go ahead! It’s really amazing…

Simo
Thanks a lot Simo.... That is the most impressive and encouraging comment that I ever got.
I'm so glad that u like my poems....
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hi Anita

Thanks

ambitious from Yemen
You are welcome... though I'm not sure why u thanked me!
Hello again Anita

I'm late again, as always – but I'll be here again tomorrow. Just a couple of first thoughts:

'Whiffed' is quite a difficult word to use: it has implications of a not very pleasant smell.

I wondered too whether the 'nose' stanza should move down the poem: maybe to position 3. Noses are strange, in English; I think we find them slightly humorous. If the nose comes later, though, when the reader is accustomed to 'parts of the body', there are no humorous overtones!

See you later,
MrP
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The mouth...
Spread the smile
of our togetherness

The ears...
Traced the footsteps
Of our Life

The nose...
Scented the fragrance
of your Love

The eyes in my brain...
Embraced extended arms
of eternal bliss

Life for me...
Against dark background
has lit up brilliance.

I am blind...
I am in Love...

Sorry, but whiff is also a synonym for aroma... anyway, thanks Mr.P for pointing that and about the nose to me. I didn't know about the humour of nose in english..

Is the poem ok now?
Stanza 4 is where I pause. Something in the rhythm seems a little different here. 'The eyes in my brain' is quite close to 'in my mind's eye'; but then the mouth and ears and nose stand alone. Should #4 parallel the first three stanzas more closely, do you think? (But it's difficult to comment on a love poem. Maybe love poems are best left as they are.)

I don't know why noses should be humorous. Perhaps because they act independently and embarrass us at unexpected moments. Are other nations surprised by noses? Maybe it's only BrE...we are a small island...prone to colds and flu...our public transport systems are very crowded...we have reason to fear noses...

See you,
MrP
well, its really about a blind person and I wanted that to get through and so couldn't use just 'eyes'. A blind person senses things though can't see them... I really didn't know how to get that thro'.... Maybe some help from u would be appreciated.
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