Im supposed to write about a book that has had an experiance on me. Any help would be appreciatable.

Book: She’s Come Undone

Having read a number of books in my time. Ranging from the provocative ‘Roots’ to the bittersweet award winning novel ‘Angela’s Ashes’, none have accomplished the goal of affecting me so much as ‘She’s Come Undone’. The tale is written in the first-person narrative and depicts the life of an ordinary girl placed under extraordinary circumstances and how she hides behind an overweight, confused and pessimistic persona.

Many surprises are in store for the readers of this book. The main surprise being the authors sex. Many times I caught myself checking the back of the book in order to reread the authors name, as he writes in such a convincing way that it actually seems that a woman is writing her autobiography. Another is that even though the book is loaded with endless trials and tribulations, it still managed to amount into a charming, witty and inspiring book.

The heroine is Dolores Price. She’s 13, smart-alecky but emotionally scarred, having bid her childhood farewell. After the rape caused by the man she admired, she begins to slowly shut herself away from the world. Her distressed mother, too afraid to press charges, attempts to provide the temporary relief for her daughter, food. Thus beginning the gradual decline of Dolores Price.

Having never suffered from weight problems and having lived in countries with little obesity issues, I always thought of it as a lewd act of self-indulgence and I never understood how people could allow themselves to get so tremendous. This book played a major role in broadening my narrow-minded view of the over weight community. I realized there were more complicated issues behind obesity.

In the high school I am currently studying, there enrolls an obese student who is way too offensive and loud. I never really took to this student when I first met him. It seemed I was not alone in this matter because most of my peers were pretty cruel to him. Now this student would always laugh it off and retort with an equally cruel comment. Thinking it was all playful humor, I did not pay it any heed. Only after reading this novel did I realize that his larger than life personality was made by him to cover up the struggling hefty boy within. Thankfully I can say I befriended him and now stand up for him during the fierce class room brawls. As I regard it, I feel I owe him more for his friendship than he does for mine.

One does not need to be overweight, or even a woman for that matter, to relate to Dolores Price. No matter how infuriating and obnoxious she was portrayed, and how sometimes she was just plain depressing to observe, there was always a part of me that kept rooting for her. Her will was admirable, but her courage, remarkable.
Hello s/h

Having read a number of books in my time. ] This clause doesn't make a sentence on its own.

none have accomplished ] Some examiners would expect 'none has' here.

The tale is written in the first-person narrative] 'narrative' is unnecessary.

an ordinary girl placed under extraordinary circumstances and how she hides behind an overweight, confused and pessimistic persona.] placed under + hides behind?

Many surprises are in store for the readers of this book.] 'the readers'?

The main surprise being the authors sex.] Insert main verb and apostrophe.

managed to amount into] Look up 'amount' as verb.

emotionally scarred, having bid her childhood farewell. ] A slight sense of 'non sequitur' here.

After the rape caused by the man she admired, ] rape isn't 'caused' - rephrase.

she begins to slowly shut herself ] split infinitive – some examiners will dislike this.

attempts to provide the temporary relief for her daughter, food.] This phrasing isn't idiomatic.

Thus beginning the gradual decline of Dolores Price. ] A participle isn't a sufficient verb for a sentence.

with little obesity issues, ] Check use of 'little' in your grammar book.

I always thought of it as a lewd act of self-indulgence ] Avoid 'lewd'...

to get so tremendous.] This is a wonderful phrase, but will be mistaken for a mistake. I'm afraid you probably have to say 'tremendously fat'.

This book played a major role in broadening my narrow-minded view] Check tense of verb.

of the over weight community.] Check over weight.

In the high school I am] relative adverb?

there enrolls an obese student ] rephrase without 'there'.

who is way too ] This is slangy.

It seemed] Tense?

larger than life personality was made ] Not the right verb.

struggling hefty boy within.] A fat boy with a hefty boy within? And struggling with - ?

As I regard it,] Not idiomatic.

No matter how infuriating and obnoxious she was portrayed, ] Check sense here.

depressing to observe,] check verb.

there was always a part of me that kept rooting for her. Her will was admirable, but her courage, remarkable. ] You're mixing two registers here.

MrP
thanks alot
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Here is what I managed. Thx in advance
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Having read a number of books in my time, from the provocative ‘Roots’ to the bittersweet novel ‘Angela’s Ashes’. None has affected me so deeply as ‘She’s Come Undone’. The tale, written in the first person, depicts the life of an ordinary girl who is placed under extraordinary circumstances.

The book is chock-full of surprises. The main surprises being the authors’ sex and how it seems like an autobiography and not fiction. Surprisingly, even though the book is loaded with endless trials and tribulations, it still managed to amount to a charming, witty and inspiring book.

The heroine is Dolores Price. She’s 13, smart-alecky but emotionally scarred, having bid her childhood farewell. After being raped by a man she had admired, she slowly shuts herself away from the world. Her distressed mother, too afraid to press charges, attempts to sooth her daughter by providing lots of food at her disposal. Thus begins the gradual decline of Dolores Price.

Having never suffered from weight problems and having always lived in countries with little obesity, I always thought of it as an act of self-indulgence and I never understood how people could allow themselves to get so tremendously fat. This book has played a major role in broadening my understanding of the obese community. I realized there are more complicated issues behind obesity.

In the high school where I am currently studying, there is enrolled an obese student who is extremely offensive and loud. I never really took to this student when I first met him. It seems I was not alone in this matter because most of my peers were pretty cruel to him. Now this student would always laugh it off and retort with an equally cruel comment. Thinking it was all playful humor, I did not pay it any heed. Only after reading this novel did I realize he had created his alter ego to cover up his insecurity. Thankfully I can say I befriended him and now stand up for him during the fierce class room brawls. Even though we both benefited from our association, I feel I owe him more for his friendship than he owes me for mine.

One does not need to be overweight, or even a woman for that matter, to relate to Dolores Price. Even though she was annoying and negative at times, there was always a part of me that kept rooting for her. Her will was admirable and her courage remarkable.
Hello s/h

Looks good to me. A few small comments:

Having read a number of books in my time, from the provocative ‘Roots’ to the bittersweet novel ‘Angela’s Ashes’. None has affected me so deeply...] You really need a main verb in the first sentence. You could try something like: 'I've read a number of books in my time, from the provocative ‘Roots’ to the bittersweet novel ‘Angela’s Ashes’, but none has affected me...'

The main surprises being ] main surprises are

the authors’] author's

Surprisingly, even though the book is loaded with endless trials and tribulations, it still managed to amount to a charming, witty and inspiring book. ] tense - 'it still manages'. Repetition of 'book': maybe replace one 'book' with 'story'.

to sooth] soothe

her daughter by providing lots of food at her disposal.] either 'putting lots of food at her disposal' or 'providing her with lots of food'.

the obese community. ] I like this phrase.

Even though we both benefited ] or 'have both benefited'

Good luck!
MrP
Wow, I can't believe this sort of help is free. Everyone here is so helpful. Thanks alot
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You're welcome, s/h!

MrP