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I´m writing a cover letter. Could you help me with only one, but long sentence. Could you tell me whether it´s correct:

It is my belief that that I am a perfect candidate for this position based on the following reasons:

  • my skills closely match those outlined in your job description. Therefore I can make a positive contribution to your company;
  • Mastering diverse and challenging tasks as a member of a strong team represents my work attitude;
  • Your future-oriented and focused processes, the variety addressed sectors and spectrum of services in the performance level of [name of the organization] are in line with my idea of ​​an ideal employer with which I can identify myself..

Thank you in advance Emotion: smile

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TinaMr

It is my belief that that I am a the perfect candidate for this position based on the following reasons:

  • My skills closely match those outlined in your job description. Therefore I can make a positive contribution to your company. [A semi-colon is not appropriate here.]
  • Mastering diverse and challenging tasks as a member of a strong team represents my work attitude. ["work ethic" is also possible and common in this context.]
  • Your future-oriented and focused processes, the variety addressed sectors and spectrum of services in the performance level of [name of the organization] are in line with my idea of ​​an ideal employer with which I can identify myself. I can identify with.

Your third point is not easy to understand. It seems to be a lot of jargon that doesn't amount to a clear idea. I'm referring specifically to this:

Your future-oriented and focused processes, the variety addressed sectors and spectrum of services in the performance level of [name of the organization]

You might try to find a simpler and more direct way of saying that. I'd suggest something myself if I knew what you meant.

CJ

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TinaMrCould you help me with only one, but long sentence.

There is more than one sentence here.
That's good, because long sentences are frequently cumbersome and inelegant. Even so, the writing is not particularly engaging.

TinaMrIt is my belief that that I am

Don't you want to convince the other guy to believe this? Here is an alternative:

I was excited to read the description of the job you posted, because I think you will find me a perfect match. My skills, especially managing complex highly secure networks, is exactly what you are looking for. I have several years of experience and keep up with the latest developments in the field. Also, I have always worked on teams, and rank the success of my team as a very high personal priority.


I have no idea what you third point is. It seems like mumbo-jumbo.

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Comments  

Califjim, thanks a lot for your help! I meant in the third sentence that a company that is active in the variour sectors, has future-oriented and focused processes and that offers services at the highest standards is an ideal, perfect employer for me. How can I formulate this idea in a sentence? Honestly, I don't manage to do it myself.

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Thanks AlpheccaStars for the complete reformulation. Yes, the third part is the most confusing. That's what I meant (I've put it already as a comment to Califjim as well): a company that is active in the various sectors, has future-oriented and focused processes and that offers services at the highest standards is an ideal, perfect employer for me. Any suggestions?

TinaMr Any suggestions?

Cut it. Focus on yourself and your qualifications, experience and personal attributes as a fit for the position..


I was excited to read the description of the job you posted, because I think you will find me a perfect match. My skills, especially managing complex highly secure networks, is exactly what you are looking for. I have several years of experience and keep up with the latest developments in the field. Also, I have always worked on teams, and rank the success of my team as a very high personal priority. (etc.)



You can end the letter with your opinion of the company.

I would be proud to make my career with United Networking, Inc. because of the leading-edge product development, the diversity of its product lines, and world-class reputation for customer service.

Thanks a lot, AplheccaStars! I've already deleted that part in my cover letter. You're right - it's not needed. I'll keep your formulations. Your version of the ending the letter is also very good. You really helped me a lot - thanks once again!

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