Due to the inexorably increasing college tuition, the affordability of higher education has been a topic of interest. Many are of the opinion that government should provide a free-of-charge university education for students, irrespective of socio-economy status. Although this statement is true in some certain cases, I believe that tuition waiver have an adverse bearing on individuals and the community as a whole.
To commence with, there are various compelling reasons why people would agree that students should be entitled to pursue higher edu without fee. To the individual level, with the provision of free education, students, especially the underprivileged ,undoubtedly stand a better chance to pursue their ambition without the financial worrisome. In other words, money would be no longer the barrier for some to study. To the societal level, waiving university fee would be a good way to find the talented, thus, lead more educated workforce.
On the other hand, despite aforementioned benefits, a free-of-charge college teaching would do disservice. The increasingly competitive job market is questionable at best. While the job market has been so competitive as it is, the rising number of people having tertiary degree makes it no longer feasible for many to land a well-paid job. What is more, since the money to cover the university education is enormous, it could put a strain on the national coffers, leading to the budget deficit, tax hikes or the limit welfare for others.
To summarize, I am of the opinion that government’s free university policy does more harm than good. Therefore, it is better to give tuition waiver to some specific learners, such as the disadvanteges.
Please evaluate and give comments for my essay. Thank you so muchh
Please do not put the essay instructions in the "Subject" line.
Put it with your answer in the message body.
Subject: Please review my IELTS essay
Message body:
Topic: Copy the essay instructions accurately here.
My essay:
(Your text here...)
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Due to the inexorably increasing college tuition, the affordability of higher education has been a topic of interest.
(The first sentence is off-topic, and it looks like a memorized "template" response. Remove it.)
Many are of the opinion that government should provide a free-of-charge (Unnecessary, verbose.) university education for anyone who wants it. irrespective of socio-economy (wrong phrase) status. Although this statement is true (That does not make sense. Maybe it is true, maybe not.
Vietnam is a country in southeast Asia. => This statement is true.
Vietnam is the largest country in the world. => This statement is false.
All people are members of the species homo sapiens. => This statement is true.
All people have more than enough food to eat. => This statement is false.
Many people have the opinion that university education should be free for all. => I do not know if this is true or not. You cannot state that is is true unless you have evidence to support your opinion.)
in some certain (You can use "some" or "certain" but not both.) cases, I believe that tuition waiver have (wrong form) an adverse bearing on individuals and the community as a whole.
You did not answer the essay prompt clearly. The examiner is looking for an answer to this question: To what extent do you agree or disagree?
It is good to know a good handful of adverbs of extent because this is a very common prompt in IELTS Task 2 essays.
Complete agreement / disagreement:
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completely
fully
totally
wholeheartedly
unreservedly
with no reservations
without reservation
unequivocally
unquestionably
with no hesitation
unconditionally
You do not have the advanced writing skills for a "partial" agreement. You have to be consistently writing at band score 7.5 or higher to successfully write a "partly agree" essay. Take one side - total agreement or total disagreement and write two body paragraphs for your answer.
Here is a good opening paragraph:
Many are of the opinion that government should provide a free university education for anyone who wants one. I completely disagree with them because a universal tuition waiver can have adverse effects on both individuals and the community.
You have to delete the first paragraph because it does not support your opinion. If you argue the other side in an agree/disagree essay, you will lose a lot of points for task response.
Learn the 5 essay types. Learn how to give the right response to each one.
If you write a "discuss both sides" essay instead of an agree/disagree essay, that limits your band score..
You need to write one paragraph on how it is bad for individuals.
You need a second paragraph on how it is bad for the nation or community.
To commence with, there are various compelling reasons why people would agree that students should be entitled to pursue higher edu without fee. To the individual level, with the provision of free education, students, especially the underprivileged ,undoubtedly stand a better chance to pursue their ambition without the financial worrisome. In other words, money would be no longer the barrier for some to study. To the societal level, waiving university fee would be a good way to find the talented, thus, lead more educated workforce.
On the other hand, (wrong transition phrase.) despite aforementioned (remove this antiquated word from your vocabulary. It is exceedingly stiff.) benefits.
A free-of-charge college teaching (wrong expression) would do a disservice to the nation and its economy. The increasingly competitive job market is questionable at best. While the job market has been so competitive as it is, the rising number of people having a tertiary (Tertiary includes vocational schools - anything higher than high school. For example, a course in auto mechanics or dog grooming would be considered "tertiary" The task is about university education.) university degree makes it no longer feasible for many to land a well-paid job. What is more, since the money to cover the university education is enormous, it could put a strain on the national budget coffers, leading to a the budget deficit, tax hikes or the limit welfare (That makes no sense.) for others.
To summarize, I am of the opinion that government’s free university policy does more harm than good. (The task did not ask for a recommendation or solution. The next sentence is off-topic.) . Therefore, it is better to give tuition waiver to some specific learners, such as the disadvanteges.