The graph below shows UK acid rain emissions, measured in millions of tonnes, from four different sectors between 1990 and 2007.
The line graph illustrates the amount of acid rain that four different sectors in England emitted over a period of 16 years starting from 1991. Units are measured in millions of tonnes.
Overall, acid rain emissions in the UK decreased drastically over the observed period, with the electricity, gas and water supply sector witnessing the most significant changes.
In terms of the amount of acid rain emitted from electricity, gas and water supply in 1991, it started at around 3.3 million tonnes, the highest among the four at the time. It was followed by other industries and transport and communication sectors (nearly 2.1 and 0.6 million tonnes respectively). In the following four years, electric, gas and water supply considerably reduced the amount of acid rain they gave off. Their figures were surpassed by those of other industries in around the year 1996. Then it continued to drop throughout the remaining years of the time frame, and finally reached 0.5 million tonnes in 2007. Likewise, the amounts of acid rain that other industries and transport and communication sectors were responsible for also underwent a fall, but less significantly.
Producing slightly over 0.6 million tonnes of acid rain at the start of the timeline, the quantity of domestic sector was the lowest in the UK and it consistently remained in this position for the rest of the period. It fluctuated mildly, only to return to its initial figure in 2007.
Nam LuongThe line graph illustrates
Illustrate is not an appropriate verb for plots or tables of data. Use it for maps, flowcharts, and diagrams. Those figures are pictures. "Illustrate" means "show a picture of something. For plots you can use compare, plot, give, show and sometimes depict. For tables, use list or give.
Your essay is too long. The minimum is 150 words. Aim for 170-190)
The line graph illustrates the amount of acid rain that four different sectors (What are these sectors? Tell the reader in the first paragraph.) in England emitted annually over a period of 16 years starting from 1991. Units are measured (wrong phrase. It does not measure units. It is measuring tonnes of acid rain.) in millions of tonnes.
Overall, acid rain emissions in the UK decreased drastically over the observed (wrong usage) period, with the electricity, gas and water supply sector having witnessing (wrong word.) the most significant changes. You need to give two or three main observation in this paragraph)
In terms of (awkward, unnatural) the amount of acid rain emitted from electricity, gas and water supply in 1991, it started at around 3.3 million tonnes, the highest among the four at the time. It was followed by other industries and transport and communication sectors (It is difficult to know what the two subjects are. You have on long noun phrase.) ) (nearly 2.1 and 0.6 million tonnes respectively). In the following four years, electric, gas and water supply considerably reduced the amount of acid rain they gave off. Their figures amounts were surpassed by those of other industries in around the year 1996. Then it continued to drop throughout the remaining years of the period time frame, and finally reached ended at 0.5 million tonnes in 2007. Likewise, the amounts of acid rain that other industries and transport and communication sectors were responsible for also underwent a fall, fell but less significantly.
Producing slightly over 0.6 million tonnes of acid rain at the start of the timeline, wrong word) the quantity (wrong word) of domestic sector was the lowest in the UK and it consistently remained in this position for the rest of the period. It fluctuated (wrong word) mildly, only to return to its initial figure value in 2007.
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Comments
Is this the best choice? Would fall be more natural instead?