Hello
This is my homework.
Could you give me a hand with correcting them.
I need your suggestions to revise this article.
I appreciate your help.

What is the biggest defect of telephones and email is that people can’t recognize each other. Unlike face-to-face communication, involving eye-to-eye, facial expressions, gestures, sentiments, attitude, and body language, telephones and email only deliver voices, words, and images. Therefore, they prevent communicator from feeling each other’s behavior, emotion, temperament. Let me cite my experience as an example. I made a pan pel on the Internet, and I've been corresponding with her for seven years. Although we always share some fun experiences, we seem to lack a feeling of face to face communication. Only when people have a real dialogue with each other can they perceive more personal.

It is people who use telephones and email that might deliberately conceal their real identity to cheat others. With their anonymity, telephones and email are considered one of main criminal tools. As a result of lacking for personal contact, some criminal groups who hide their real motives and some details about their backgrounds can easily swindle people via tapping telephones or mailing letters to Interest users. The example involves my friend. He answered a telephone from a chain gang who told my friend that you won a lottery. Before withdraw the prize, you had to remit tax on the lottery. Because of lacking for face to face contact, my friend didn’t know how to verify this thing. Therefore, he followed their request to remitting money to specific account they ordered. Consequently, my friend understood they tricked him into giving them the money through this way.

In short, considering all the above, it is apparent that these kinds of communication via telephones and email not only decrease the possibilities of personal contact but make it possible for people to be defrauded at any time when telephones ring.
I am going to go have lunch. But if no one has given you any guidance before then, I will give you a few comments when I return.
What is the biggest defect of telephones and email is that people can’t recognize each other. Unlike face-to-face communication, involving eye-to-eye, facial expressions, gestures, sentiments, attitude, and body language (is body language not eye-to-eye etc. Are you repetitive?), telephones and email only deliver voices, words, and images ( only things left are touch and smell?). Therefore, they prevent communicator from feeling each other’s behavior, emotion, temperament. Let me cite my experience as an example. I made a pen pal on the Internet, and I've been corresponding with her for seven years. Although we always share some fun experiences, we seem to lack a feeling of face to face communication [This doesn't really tell me a lot. It's like saying a horse is a horse because it is horse. You haven't offered anything new]. Only when people have a real dialogue with each other can they perceive more personal [something awkward about the ending].

It is people who use telephones and email that might deliberately conceal their real identity to cheat others [People besides those using telephones and e-mail cheat. Cheating was invented long before the electronic age]. With their anonymity, telephones and email are considered one of main criminal tools. As a result of lacking for personal contact, some criminal groups who hide their real motives and some details about their backgrounds can easily swindle people via tapping telephones [tapping phones...sounds a little extreme to me] or mailing letters to Interest users. The example involves my friend. He answered a telephone from a chain gang who told my friend that you won a lottery. Before withdraw the prize, you had to remit tax on the lottery. Because of lacking for face to face contact, my friend didn’t know how to verify this thing. Therefore, he followed their request to remitting money to specific account they ordered. Consequently, my friend understood they tricked him into giving them the money through this way. [good example]

In short, considering all the above, it is apparent that these kinds of communication via telephones and email not only decrease the possibilities of personal contact but make it possible for people to be defrauded at any time when telephones ring.

I think it is pretty good. You just need a minor tuning here and there.