+0

Some people think that it is more beneficial to take part in sports which are played in team like soccer, while other people think that taking part in individual sports, like tennis or swimming, is better. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Although, it is sometimes thought that participation in team sports namely football is more fundamental, others believe that it is better to take part in individual sports, including tennis, swimming. In my opinion, I consider the benefit individual sports yield is more than its

On the one hand, some think that people participating in team sports often have more profit in real-life. In other words, participating in sports played in team aids people in improving themselves. For instance, as the human play football or volleyball, they not only learn how to control the ball well, but also they learn to develop communication skills, feel a sense of community and respect their teammates and coaches. From an academic perspective, these sports also teach the players how to be patient and one of the keys to success is hard working. These play a crucial role in the real-life and career of a person.

On the other hand, it is often believed that it is better if the emphasis on physical activities is on individual sports and I agree. First, the competition between players assists people with motivating themselves. This kind of intrinsic motivation is often much more powerful than external motivation. Moreover, people who take part in individual sports also learn how to be self-reliant that is important to drive achieve what they want and, consequently, their success will depend on their own efforts.

In conclusion, while people may vary their options, I think that individual sports are better than sports which played in the team.

+0

I have moved your essay to the Essays forum. In the future, please post your essays here.

https://www.englishforums.com/English/EssayReportCompositionWriting/Forum9.htm

Thanks.

CJ

+0

Although, (no comma) it is sometimes thought that participation in team sports namely football is more fundamental, (wrong word, comma splice error, ungrammatical sentence.) others believe that it is better to take part in individual sports, including tennis, swimming. ( ungrammatical series.) In my opinion, I consider the benefit individual sports yield is more than its (incomplete sentence)

On the one hand, some think that people participating in team sports often have more profit (wrong word. Do you mean the salary is better for team players?) in real-life. In other words, participating in sports played in team aids people in improving themselves. For instance, as the human (wrong word,) play football or volleyball, they not only learn how to control the ball well, but also they learn to develop communication skills, feel a sense of community and respect their teammates and coaches. From an academic perspective, these sports also teach the players how to be patient and one of the keys to success is hard working. (wrong expression ) These play a crucial role in the real-life and career of a person.

On the other hand, it is often believed that it is better if the emphasis on physical activities is on individual sports and I agree. First, the competition between players assists people with motivating themselves. This kind of intrinsic motivation is often much more powerful than external motivation. Moreover, people who take part in individual sports also learn how to be self-reliant that is important to drive achieve (??) what they want and, consequently, their success will depend on their own efforts.

In conclusion, while people may vary their options, I think that individual sports are better than sports which played (wrong verb form) in a the team.

Teachers: We supply a list of EFL job vacancies
Comments  
CalifJim

I have moved your essay to the Essays forum. In the future, please post your essays here.
https://www.englishforums.com/English/EssayReportCompositionWriting/Forum9.htm
Thanks.
CJ

We have asked Bảo Nguyễn Lê Quốc to do this before. Maybe he is not paying any attention to our feedback.

I am really sorry about that! I did not pay attention to your feedback and forgot it! I will fix it in the future and not make this mistake again. So I really hope you fix my essays and thank you so much!!

Students: Are you brave enough to let our tutors analyse your pronunciation?
 AlpheccaStars's reply was promoted to an answer.