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CramyIf possible, could you please propose some advice for me to further improve the letter?
I'm afraid not. It's meant to be your own letter.

However, if you do want to add more to it later on, then let us know and we'll do our best to help you. Emotion: smile
thank you very much for your help, teechr!

i would continue working on it!
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Hello teechr!
I did a little revise for the 3rd paragraph of my motivation letter.
I switched the sequence of geographical technologies and mathematics because I think the former one is more relevant to geography.
Previously I had some talk with the programme director through emails and he stated that applicants should possess a strong scientific background (especially in mathematics), so I chose to mention geographical technologies and maths in my paragraph because they reveal my scientific knowledge. This is also the reason why I emphasised my scientific background again at the end of the section (which you removed it in your last proofreading), though I am really not sure if it was overemphasis.
Shall I judge my qualifications for the programme in a way like the last sentence of my paragraph, or shall I let the admission board evaluate whether I meet the conditions, which means I don't write the last sentence?

I wish you can read my revised paragraph and pose your valuable advice.
Thank you sincerely!
With my strong interest in geography, I devoted myself to my bachelor’s studies in earnest. For the previous three academic years, I managed to rank top in our major and gain an overall GPA of 3.8/5.0, demonstrating my solid academic knowledge. Out of all courses, the ones related to geographical technologies captivated my attention most because of the accuracy and efficiency of technologies. Preparing for new course material, and discussing assignments with classmates and professors were parts of my daily life which eventually paid off as I devised my original evaluation systems for city interaction and demographic dividend influence with ArcGIS and SPSS. Apart from technologies, my excellent 4.7/5.0 GPA in mathematics courses also proved me skilful in dealing with numbers. Based on my academic performance, I believe I have acquired a sufficient scientific background for further study in geography.
I don't see that as an improvement, I'm afraid!
If so, will you call it, on the contrary, a deterioration?
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teechrI don't see that as an improvement, I'm afraid!
Dear teechr,
I have revised my motivation letter again, adjusting the article's structure and modifying a few sentences.
I really hope I did make an improvement this time.
I wish you can proofread my letter and put forward your suggestions.
Thank you sincerely!
Dear Sir or Madam,

I am highly interested in the Master of Science in Geography at ABC, starting in September 2016. With this letter I would like to outline my motivation for applying for this interuniversity programme.

Currently, I am studying for my bachelor’s degree in Resources Environment & Urban and Rural Planning Management at the School of Geography and Planning, XX, China. As a four year program, my major mainly focuses on the knowledge of geography and planning, meanwhile also includes the relevant skills of English, mathematics, and computer.

I heard about your master’s programme in geography from one of its alumni who strongly encouraged me to apply. After reading through the information on your website, I find your programme perfectly suits my academic needs and career goals. I want to study geography at your university and focus on GIS and Spatial Modelling, not only because you have excellent courses covering theories and the application of geographical technologies, but also because of the field trips and internship which represent a great chance to gain valuable practical experience.

Regarding why I chose to study geography, a critical reason is undoubtedly my intense interest in the subject, which originates from my personal travel experience around China. I have explored almost half of my country, where a diversity of landscape, people, and cultures leapt to my eyes and aroused a strong desire in me to further discover the differences in the various regions and the connections between them.

With my strong interest in geography, I devoted myself to my bachelor’s studies in earnest. For the previous three academic years, I managed to rank top in my major and acquired a solid scientific background. Out of all courses, the ones related to geographical technologies captivated my attention most because of the accuracy and efficiency of technologies. Preparing for new course material, and discussing assignments with classmates and professors became parts of my daily life which eventually paid off as I devised my original evaluation systems for city interaction and demographic dividend influence with ArcGIS and SPSS. Apart from technologies, I was also dedicated to mathematics studies and gained excellent grades in these subjects.

In addition to curriculum, I have taken part in a diversity of research projects throughout college years. For instance, presently I am involved in an Innovation Project of SYSU. As the team leader, I had to carefully consider how to delegate project tasks appropriately to my team members and read through a great deal of relevant literature in order to ensure a successful start to the project. After gaining enough background information on Guangzhou’s villages, we investigated a list of initial options in person and finally selected a novel and feasible project topic which is electronic commerce village. Without doubt, being engaged in these tasks has broadened my horizons, but more importantly, it has also enhanced my leadership and teamwork abilities as I learned how to guide and collaborate with my group members.

Looking ahead, there are limitless prospects for geography in the future. In recent times, what impressed me greatly was the idea of “Infrastructure Smartisation” proposed by Doctor Shinji Yamamura from Japan. By using technologies including GIS and RS to substantially improve urban infrastructure efficiency, he made a major step forward towards realising the once distant concept of the digital city. The enormous capabilities of geography have again strengthened my career aspiration, which is to be a pioneer combining an entire urban area with geographical technologies to create a genuine digital city and improve people’s quality of life.

From studying the courses and speaking with the students of your prestigious programme, I am confident that you will enable me to acquire the advanced knowledge in geography, and simultaneously master the relevant cutting-edge technologies. These strong positives will allow me to be a qualified geographer and realise my career aspiration.

I hope this letter has clearly expressed my motivation for your programme, and I wish that you will find me a suitable candidate for it. Thank you for your consideration, and I look forward to your positive reply.

Yours faithfully,

XXX