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Around the world, many adults are working from home, and more children are beginning to study from home because technology has become cheaper and more accessible.

Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.

My essay:

In recent times, a growing body of adults and children are embarking on telecommuting as well as online learning by virtue of the accessibility and affordability of current technology. Even though this growing trend can be beneficial to our environment, I deem that it does more harm than good to individuals' health and communication.

On the one hand, telecommuting and virtual learning contribute to the reduction of pollution in many large cities. Undoubtedly, due to the excessive emissions from transports of commuters as well as congestion during peak hours, a lot of urban centers have to suffer from severe air pollution. However, as adults and students work online at home, the number of vehicles can be greatly reduced. A direct consequence of this is the reduction of pollution in those cities which is beneficial to not only the environment itself but also to many residents as they can enjoy fresher air.

On the other hand, I contend that the drawbacks generated by the increase in online working and studying are more alarming. First of all, prolonged use of computers brings about a number of health implications. This can be exemplified by the fact that sitting in front of a computer for too long can place users at risk of having a bad posture or eye problems like eye-strain. In the long run, these issues can be detrimental to one's health thus reducing their efficiency. A second unfavorable effect of this trend is that it can be damaging to our communication skills, especially youngsters who require interaction with peers during their formative years to boost confidence and form friendship. This can be ascribed to the fact that online learning methods often require less interpersonal interactions between learners. Consequently, some students may lose sense of a face-to-face conversation and fail to express themselves efficiently which will badly affected their team work skills.

In closing, even though our environment can benefit from the growing telecommuting and online studying, the disadvantages to individuals in terms of health and communication are much more concerning.

Thank you very much! <3

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In recent times, a growing body of adults and children are embarking on telecommuting or as well as online learning by virtue of the accessibility and affordability of computers and the internet. current technology. Even though this growing trend can be beneficial to our environment, I deem that it does more harm than good to individuals' health and communication.

(Your first paragraph is off topic. This task is not a advantages/disadvantages type of essay. It is an opinion essay, where you answer the essay prompt and then give reasons for your answer:

Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

You picked "it is a negative development."

But your next paragraph completely contradicts your position. So you lose a lot of points for not answering the essay correctly.

On the one hand, telecommuting and virtual learning contribute to the reduction of pollution in many large cities. Undoubtedly, due to the excessive emissions from transports of commuters as well as congestion during peak hours, a lot of urban centers have to suffer from severe air pollution. However, as adults and students work online at home, the number of vehicles can be greatly reduced. A direct consequence of this is the reduction of pollution in those cities which is beneficial to not only the environment itself but also to many residents as they can enjoy fresher air.

On the other hand, I contend that (Do not write your opinions in the body paragraphs. The opinion is stated in the opening paragraph. The body paragraphs are arguments that justify your position.) the drawbacks generated by the increase in online working and studying are more alarming. First of all, prolonged use of computers brings about a number of health implications. This can be exemplified by the fact that sitting in front of a computer for too long can place users at risk of having a bad posture or eye problems like eye-strain. In the long run, these issues can be detrimental to one's health thus reducing their life span. efficiency. A second unfavorable effect (This should be your second body paragraph.) of this trend is that it can be damaging to our communication skills, especially primary school children youngsters who require interaction with peers during their formative years to boost confidence and form friendships. This can be ascribed to the fact that online learning methods often require less interpersonal interactions between learners. Consequently, some students may lose sense of a face-to-face conversation and fail to express themselves efficiently which will badly affected (wrong form) their team work (teamwork) skills.

In closing, even though our environment can benefit from the growing telecommuting and online studying, the disadvantages to individuals in terms of health and communication are much more concerning.


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Comments  

First of all, I am very thankful for your feedback So initially, I intended to have a partial approach but is it because my thesis didn't state clearly that although there are positives, this trend is still a negative development that my essay doesn't seem to answer the essay correctly? Also, is this okay to have a partial view in this type of essay? Thank you very much!

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diệp anh PhanFirst of all, I am very thankful for your feedback So initially, I intended to have a partial approach but is it because my thesis didn't state clearly that although there are positives, this trend is still a negative development that my essay doesn't seem to answer the essay correctly? Also, is this okay to have a partial view in this type of essay? Thank you very much!

If the essay prompt is "Is this a positive or negative development?" you have to take one side and present arguments for your choice. The prompt does not allow you to take both sides.