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In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough.

What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?


Children in some countries are taught to keep trying their best in order to attain success. While that idea occasionally brings them some negative impacts, it also has a lot of positive effects.

On the one hand, some cultures, especially Eastern cultures, encourage the young to try hard all the time. If they fail, it is their fault, and they will usually be blamed by the adults. They forced their child to try and try again, and that put a heavy load on the child’s shoulders. It causes a lot of anxiety and gives the young the feeling that they failed to meet their parents’ expectations, which can lead to depression. It is normal to take a fall, but with these children, a minor fall can lead to major self-blaming and the sense that they are the losers and will never achieve success. For example, a child who is terrible at doing mathematical problems can be considered stupid at all and is told to keep doing mathematisc all day long until he can solve this problem, although this child so outstanding at literature, vice versa.

On the other hand, encouraging the young to keep trying for their goals can bring lots of motivation for them. It can give them abundant strength to overcome their obstacles. Therefore, children can learn to respect their results and also their trying process, and figure out what is really valuable at the end. It is true that no great success can be attained without failures and enormous efforts. Take Edison, for example. He spent a thousand times trying to create a light bulb, with failures and failures again. What would happen if he stopped trying? That is a clear example of how efforts can help people succeed, and so many children are encouraged by it.

Ultimately, while pushing children too hard on a goal can cause some negative consequences, encouraging them remains an effective way to motivate children to create incredible things.

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Children in some countries are taught to keep trying that if they try their best, in order to they can attain success in anything. While that idea [ 1] occasionally brings them can lead to some negative results, impacts, it also has [ 2] a lot of positive effects.

On the one hand, that approach can be problematic. [ 3] some cultures, especially Eastern cultures, encourage the young to try hard all the time. If they fail, it is their fault, and they will usually be blamed by the adults. First, it puts undue pressure on children to succeed. They [ 4] are forced their child to try and try again, and that puts a heavy load on the child’s shoulders. It causes a lot of anxiety and gives the young the feeling that they failed have to meet their parents’ expectations at all costs, which can lead to depression. It is normal to take a fall, Failure is a part of life, but with when these children fail, they cannot handle it and do not know how to deal with it. A minor fall defeat can lead to major self-blaming strong self-blame and the sense that they are the losers and will never achieve success. For example, a child who achieves a high, but not the top, grade in some exam might hear criticisms from his/her parents instead of being congratulated on his/her achievement. [ 5] is terrible at doing mathematical problems can be considered stupid at all and is told to keep doing mathematisc all day long until he can solve this problem, although this child so outstanding at literature, vice versa.

On the other hand, encouraging the young to keep trying for their goals can bring [ 6] lots of motivation be motivating for them. It can give them abundant strength to overcome their obstacles. [ 7] Therefore, children can learn to respect their results and also their trying process, and figure out what is really valuable at the end. It is true that no It teaches them that great success can be attained without failures and typically requires enormous efforts. Take Edison, for example. He spent [ 8] a thousand times thousands of hours trying to create before he succeeded in making a functional light bulb. , with failures and failures again. What would happen if he stopped trying? That is a clear example of how efforts can help people succeed, and so many children are encouraged by it.

[ 9] Ultimately, while pushing children too hard on a goal can cause some negative consequences, encouraging them remains an effective way to motivate children to create incredible things.

In conclusion, telling children that they can achieve anything puts undue pressure on them and does not teach them how to deal with failure. However, it is also important to teach children that they must try their best in order to succeed in life.

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Note that you 327 words. Aim for 250-280.

[ 1]: “Occasionally” is wrong here, because your first body paragraph (the negatives) is longer than your second one. It is very important that what you say in your thesis statement (the last one in the introduction) matches with what you discuss in the body paragraphs.

[ 2]: See above comment.

[ 3]: The topic sentence of a body paragraph should define the scope of that paragraph.

[ 4]: Note the passive structure.

[ 5]: That example does not illustrate the point you had outlined.

[ 6]: “lots of” is informal. Do not use it in IELTS writing.

[ 7]: That is vague waffle.

[ 8]: “spent a thousand times” is not natural.

[ 9]: Do not write a generic conclusion. The conclusion is supposed to be the most specific part of the essay. All you need is a sentence or two that summarize the main points/findings from the body paragraphs.