I try to improve my writing by write blog , and this is work from my blog

http://little-playboy.blogspot.com /

After the darkness had gone , and the new day came . The morning’s light penetrated through my windows softly and try to disperse to every area of my house . The shadow of things gradually was growing , while the sun was slightly changing its angle and gradually gave more light to the world . Everything was change, included . I had still laid on bedspread lazily, until I heard my mobile phone rang crazily like a noise from my dog , which was trying to played with a walking men (or women) who walked hastily on the street . A commotion knocked my ears like a my mom greet visitor .
I tried to wake, but my consciousness said “ Sleep darling ,please. I tried to fought with my consciousness’s command by opened my eyes widely and crawl lazily , and then I lose and everything turned to darkness with my sleep

Thank you for everyone to read and correct my grammar Emotion: smile
Don't leave a space before commas and periods. I've fixed a few things for you, but I left the things in blue for you to fix.
I_am_QooI try to improve my writing by write blog , and this is work from my blog

http://little-playboy.blogspot.com /

After the darkness had gone , and the new day came . The morning’s light penetrated through my windows softly (awkward choice of words) and try (tense) to disperse to (wording) every area of my house . The shadow (be clearer) of things gradually was growing , while the sun was slightly changing its angle and gradually gave more light to the world . Everything was changing. I was lying in bed lazily, until I heard my mobile phone ring crazily like a noise from my dog , which was trying to played with a walking men (or women) (sing./pl.) who walked hastily on the street . A commotion knocked (choice of words) my ears like a my mom greet visitors.
I tried to wake up, but my consciousness (choice of words) said “ Sleep darling ,please. I tried to fought with my consciousness’s command by opened my eyes widely and crawl lazily , and then I lose and everything turned to darkness with my sleep
Thank you very much Emotion: smile