my grammar is very poor.

I want to improve my english.

Can someone help me, please

thank you very much

Dear Sir,

As a teenage of 21 years old, I am writing to share my view on abusing drug. I think that this problem has become worse and worse. I totally disagree with teenage abusing drugs because it will bring a great harm to their internal body.

First of all, teenage is very curious to abuse drugs, one of the reasons is that they always saw a role abusing drug in films. Besides, some peer would lure them to abuse drugs, and would say that abusing drug has many advantages and the harm is weaker than you has supposed and advertisement content. Finally, teenage abusing drugs, in order to reduce the pressure from academic studies or family.

Parents should build a correct concept for their children, and tell them that drug abuse has a great harm to the future. In addition, abusing drug only is to shirk a responsibility, instead of relieving pressure. There are many ways for relieving pressure, such as hiking, swimming. Furthermore, drug abuse is illegal, and which it may waste a lot of money and it may even cause penalty or imprisonment.

I have some suggestions mentioned as follows. Firstly, the government should patrol intensively in all entertainment places. Secondly, the government should cooperate closely with mainland authorities for seizing drug dealer. For example, police can pose as buyer. Thirdly, the government should impose heavier punishment. Finally, family, schools and the government must join hands to deal with this serious problem. Schools and the government should organize regularly activities about harms of abusing drug and add drug abuse in major subject. Parents also should take more time to teach their children and tell them the truth.

I have not ever been drug abusers. But I have some experience for drug abusers because I have some friends who are drug abusers. I have seen someone to vomit constantly in several hours, he became thin and turned pale. Moreover, he lost a fortune and loaned a lot of money from banks, he has abused drug for above a year. So far, he has been abusing drug, though abusing less than before. I advise him, but he always said that this was his business and he did not indulge in abusing drugs. So I hope teenage do not try to abuse drugs anymore, otherwise it will bring a great harm to you.

Yours faithfully,

Peter
Bolded some glaring errors for you.
CoSmO_hk
Dear Sir,

As a teenager (no longer a teenager) of 21 years old, I am writing to share my view on drug abuse. I think that this problem has become worse and worse. I totally disagree with teenage abusing drugs because it will bring a great harm to their internal body.

First of all, teenage is very curious to abuse drugs, one of the reasons is that they always saw a role abusing drug in films. Besides, some peer would lure them to abuse drugs, and would say that abusing drug has many advantages and the harm is weaker than you has supposed and advertisement content. Finally, teenage abusing drugs, in order to reduce the pressure from academic studies or family.


JulielaiBolded some glaring errors for you.
CoSmO_hk
Dear Sir,

As a teenager (no longer a teenager) of 21 years old, I am writing to share my view on drug abuse. I think that this problem has become worse and worse. I totally disagree with teenage abusing drugs because it will bring a great harm to their internal body.

First of all, teenage is very curious to abuse drugs, one of the reasons is that they always saw a role abusing drug in films. Besides, some peer would lure them to abuse drugs, and would say that abusing drug has many advantages and the harm is weaker than you has supposed and advertisement content. Finally, teenage abusing drugs, in order to reduce the pressure from academic studies or family.



thank you very much

I have changed it. If it is wrong, please correct me.

Dear Sir,

As a adult of 21 years old, I am writing to share my view on abusing drug. I think that this problem has become worse and worse. I totally disagree with teenage abusing drugs because it will bring a great harm to the body.

First of all, teenage are very curious to abusing drugsone of the reasons is that they always saw abusing drug in films. Besides, some peers would lure them to abuse drugs, and would say that abusing drug are many advantages and the harm of abusing drug is weaker than you has supposed and advertisement. Finally, teenage abusing drugs, in order to reduce the pressure from academic studies or family.