Emotion: thinking My assignment was to narrateA Moment in Exercise or Sports, of real incidents that I experienced or witnessed.

It was in the YMCA’s beginners swimming evening class, on November 2006, where I realized that fear sheltered me from great experiences. Eric, our swimming instructor, wanted all of his students to be able to swim the length of the nine-foot pool by the final tenth session. The first half hour of our ninth session, he had us hold a 36 inch blue Styrofoam kick board straight above our heads with our left hand, while we did full strokes with our right arm and swam the width of three lanes, in 4 feet of water. Eric paced the pool’s platform edge, as he diligently watched us in his navy swim trunks. Although I thought he was chubby, for a swimming instructor, he was very skilled in creating a fun and relaxed experience in the water. At 8:30 he got in the pool and began giving us specific instructions. “ Ok, we have 15 minutes left. Next week is our last session and everyone is required to swim the length of the pool in order to qualify for intermediate swimming classes. I will stand in the middle of the pool and I want everyone to try to swim towards me without the kick board.” As I waited on the queue, I carefully studied each student’s swimming form as they swam towards Eric. Finally, it was my turn and I quickly adjusted my blue airtight goggles and walked towards the starting position. I tightly gripped the pool’s overflow trough with my left hand, as I planted both feet against the wall. My shoulders were completely submerged under water, as I extended my right arm towards the Eric. He voice bounced off the walls of the acoustic room, “1-2-3- Go!” I immediately submerged my face under the water, I release my grip from the trough and brought my arm above my head and my legs pushed my body away from the wall like a missile. Once I saw the sea green floor, I forced air bubbles out of my nose, and turned my head pass my right shoulder, towards the ceiling to grasp for air. When I opened my mouth I was too afraid to inhale and turned my face back into the pool. With no more air in my lungs I was temped to stop, but decided to try again. On my third stroke I turned my head toward the ceiling again, but this time I defeated my fear and took a deep breath. I was so thrilled and it was almost unbelievable. Once I saw the sea green floor I forced bubbles out from my nose and went up for air once again. “Ok, stop, stop!” I reached the middle of the pool where Eric greeted each swimmer. “ Very good, but try keep arms straighter. Next!” I was extremely happy, but I could not believe I waited 36 years to learn how swimming. How many other things have I missed out on because of an irrational fear?
Hello Thekngihtking,

1-Where is your headline? 2-Divde this into paragraphs 3-Introduction is not so good.Why don't you tell us what you are going to tell more clearly? 4-Giving the main idea in the first paragraph will make it easy for you to write your essay.
1- Headline? Do you mean Title? Like: Defeating irrational fear requires a conscious effort.

2- Ok, understood

3- I wanted to create a topic sentence that included time, place and opinion of the main character. I will try again.

4 - The purpose was to make a point about an experience that taught me something about myself. Unfortunately, it is not clear to the reader.

This assignment has been a struggle. Thanks Doll.
Students: Are you brave enough to let our tutors analyse your pronunciation?
Yes I mean titlle don't give up you will soon start to write good essays.