Hey, how is it going? I need some help answering this question. If someone to whom writing comes naturally can revise my response to this question. I welcome all the advise you can provide me to improve my writing and my response to this question.

Explain below why you believe you should be considered a disadvantaged applicant?

I grew up in a rural portion of India until the age of nine and at this stage my family was borderline lower class and at certain moments we were part of it. My father was the bread winner and frequently, he would scrabble whatever he can to provide me and my three siblings while my mother was and still is a housewife. Needless to say, my father also had his siblings to provide for as well. It was good fortunate my extended family vouched to bring us to America. Given the cultural shock and existing financial burden, my father went to Chicago to become a taxi driver while the rest of the family stayed in Houston. During the transition stage, we moved multiple times trying to obtain the stable residents but everything came to a halt when my father got into serve accident that led him disable and then later on he had bypass surgery. Since then, my father is on Medicare and Medicaid. I got through college with the aid of mostly loans and work while occasionally supported my brother as well. Nevertheless, I am fortunate to be alive and be healthy but at the same time, I am at a disadvantage that I grew up without a steady financial support even though I cannot ever pay my father back for his diligent work.
Explain below why you believe you should be considered a disadvantaged applicant?

(Reword the parts in brown.)

I grew up in a rural portion of India until the age of nine and at this stage my family was borderline lower class (rephrase) . My father was the bread winner, and he did whatever he can (tense) to provide for me and my three siblings while my mother took care of us. Needless to say, my father also had his siblings to provide for as well. It was good fortunate my extended family brought us to America. Given the cultural shock and our existing financial burden, my father went to Chicago to become a taxi driver while the rest of the family stayed in Houston. During the transition stage, we moved multiple times trying to obtain the stable residents but everything came to a halt when my father got into a severe accident that led him disable and then later on he had to undergo a bypass surgery. Since then, my father has been on Medicare and Medicaid. I got through college with the aid of mostly loans and part-time jobs while occasionally supported my brother as well. Nevertheless, I am fortunate to be alive and be healthy but at the same time, I am at a disadvantage that I grew up without a steady financial support even though I cannot ever pay my father back for his diligent work.

(Now summarize.)
I grew up in a rural portion of India until the age of nine and I recall my family was in the midst of middle to lower class, and sometimes, in the latter. My father was the bread winner, and he did whatever he could to provide for me and my three siblings while my mother took care of us. Needless to say, my father also had his siblings to provide for as well. Out of no where, blessing was bestowed upon us by god by having my extended family brings us to America. Given the cultural shock and our existing financial burden, my father went to Chicago to become a taxi driver while the rest of the family stayed in Houston. During the transition stage, we moved multiple times trying to settle but everything came to a halt when my father got into a severe accident and then later on he had to undergo a bypass surgery. Since then, my father has been on Medicare and Medicaid. I got through college with mostly loans and part-time jobs while occasionally being supported by my brother as well. I am at a disadvantage considering the aforementioned circumstance me and my family have endeavor and still are. Through it all, it has been a blessing that we are still united as a family today. Though my peers might have a higher GPA or MCAT than me, I can proudly say I am among the few who understands "it ain't how hard you hit, it's about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward."
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I'll be the first to say, My grammer is horrible!
If someone can help me make my response sound more fluid, that would be great.

Explain below why you believe you should be considered a disadvantaged applican

I grew up in a rural portion of India until the age of nine and I recall my family was in the midst of middle to lower class, and sometimes, in the latter. My father was the bread winner, and he did whatever he could to provide for me and my three siblings while my mother took care of us. Needless to say, my father also had his siblings to provide for as well. Out of no where, blessing was bestowed upon us by god by having my extended family brings us to America. Given the cultural shock and our existing financial burden, my father went to Chicago to become a taxi driver while the rest of the family stayed in Houston. During the transition stage, we moved multiple times trying to settle but everything came to a halt when my father got into a severe accident and then later on he had to undergo a bypass surgery. Since then, my father has been on Medicare and Medicaid. I got through college with mostly loans and part-time jobs while occasionally being supported by my brother as well. I am at a disadvantage considering the aforementioned circumstance me and my family have endeavor and still are. Through it all, it has been a blessing that we are still united as a family today. Though my peers might have a higher GPA or MCAT than me, I can proudly say I am among the few who understands "it ain't how hard you hit, it's about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward."
Here are some suggestions:

I grew up in a rural portion of India until the age of nine. At that time I recall my family was in the midst of being middle to lower class, and sometimes, in the latter. My father was the bread winner, and he did whatever he could to provide for me and my three siblings while my mother took care of us. Needless to say, my father also had his siblings to provide for as well. Out of no where nowhere, a blessing was bestowed upon us by god -- by having my extended family brought brings us to America. Given In spite of the cultural shock and our existing financial burden, my father went to Chicago to become a taxi driver while the rest of the family stayed in Houston. During the transition stage, we moved multiple times trying to settle but everything (I'm not sure what you mean by "everrything." Do you mean financial stability or becomong settled in your new country?) came to a halt when my father was injured in got into a severe accident and then later on he had to undergo a bypass surgery. Since then, my father has been on Medicare and Medicaid. I was able to pay for my got through college education with mostly loans and part-time jobs while occasionally being supported by my brother as well. I am at a disadvantage considering the aforementioned circumstances that I me and my family find ourselves in. have endeavor and still are. Through it all, it has been a blessing that we are still united as a family today. Though my peers might have a higher GPA or MCAT than me, I can proudly say I am among the few who understands “it ain’t how hard you hit, it’s about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward.”
First of all, I want to thank you for your time. May god reward you.

Does this sound better?

. During the transition stage, we moved multiple times trying to settle but things become more unstable and life came to a halt when my father was injured in a severe accident and later on had to undergo bypass surgery. Since then, my father has been on Medicare and Medicaid.
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Hi, I need some help on making this response sound more intellectual, please help me.

Explain below why you believe you should be considered a disadvantaged applicant:

I grew up in rural until the age of nine. At that time I recall my family being middle to lower class, and sometimes the latter. My father was the bread winner, and he did whatever he could to provide for me and my three siblings while my mother took care of us. Needless to say, my father also had his siblings to provide for as well. Out of nowhere, a blessing was bestowed upon us by god -- my extended family brought us to . In spite of the cultural shock and our existing financial burden, my father went to to become a taxi driver while the rest of the family stayed in . During the transition stage, we moved multiple times trying to settle but thing become more unstable and life came to a halt when my father was injured in a severe accident and later on had to undergo bypass surgery. Since then, my father has been on Medicare and Medicaid. I was able to pay for my college education with loans and part-time jobs while occasionally being supported by my brother as well. I am at a disadvantage considering the aforementioned circumstances that I and my family find ourselves in. Through it all, it has been a blessing that we are still united as a family today. Though my peers might have a higher GPA or MCAT score, I can proudly say I am among the few who understands “it ain’t how hard you hit, it’s about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward.”