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Hi.

I remember the subject question was once discussed on this forum. One moderator said to the effect that the expression 'can't stand' takes either form. However, I've gotten rather confusing information on this from two different websites. One classifies 'can't stand' as a verb that takes an -ing form as its object, while the other lists it as a verb that can take either a gerund or an infinitive. I personally have used the -ing form and thus I prefer it, but as a non-native speaker I want to doublecheck. Are these two forms used in equal proportions, or is one more commonly used than the other, or is ether of the two sites wrong? I need a clincher.

Thanks.
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I think it's mostly used with the gerund.

However, if we take "bear" (which is a near synonym) , maybe there's some kind of reasoning possible; you use the -ing form when it's something you have already experienced and so relates to past events: "I can't bear/stand seeing somebody cry">everytime you've seen someone cry, it has been unbearable to you.

"I couldn't stand/bear to wake up and see you gone"> this relates to the future, and to something the speaker hasn't experienced yet.

This might not be correct, but that's how I see it; maybe someone will come and correct me.
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I hear it used more with the gerund, but either way is OK.
The infinitive may be used to avoid the awkwardness of two gerund constructions in a row.

I can't stand to see her crying.

sounds a lot better, to my ear, than

I can't stand seeing her crying.

CJ
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I'm certainly not as good at English as you, but as far as I know, both forms can be used. Check it out at http://www.ldoceonline.com/dictionary/stand_1 , item 6.
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Yes i'm confused to , i thought it was for verb-ing only but i started to be confused when i read Ashley Tisdale's Off The Wall's Lyrics : "I can't stand to be alone"
So it might be used both way !
And now my question is what's the different between both and either when they both show that "the all two subjects are affirmative"
What's the difference between both and either when they both show that "the all two subjects are affirmative"

Both means "and" when speaking of two different things:

Both red and blue are favorite colors of mine. I like both colors.

Either means "or":

Choose either the red dress or the blue dress; you can't afford both of them.

Either can be used for more than two:
Choose either the red dress, the blue dress or the yellow dress; you can't afford all of them.

Fair enough. However, in the sentence I can't stand seeing her crying, "crying" is not a gerund but a participle in a construction traditionally known as accusative + participle after verbs of perception. Another construction is genitive + gerund, as in I can't stand his fooling around all the time, where his can be easily contrasted with him.

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