Hello, here is my first attempt for Task 2 IELTS, please review this essay and give me your evaluation, please. Thank you so much, my teachers!

Topic: Some people believe that reading stories from a book is better than watching TV or playing computer games for children. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Write at least 250 words.

TASK

It is said that children would benefit more from reading stories in a book than watching TV or playing computer games. In my opinion, I completely agree with this statement because reading books can help children improve in many aspects.

One of the reasons why people consider reading books to be superior to other types of multimedia is that the information in books would be more reliable and suitable for children. To begin with, while watching TV or surfing the internet, youngsters may come across some inappropriate content such as violent scenes or false news, that would have negative impacts on the development of their thinking and also their knowledge. On the contrary, people are provided with a wide range of choice when choosing books. In this way, children can choose books of the topic they take interest in, and parents can also control the content of the books their children are reading.

Another reason is that reading stories from a book can stimulate the imagination of children. When people read about unknown places or past events, our mind tends to create imaginative images in our heads, those images simultaneously visualize new worlds, characters and perspectives that the writer want to convey to us. Take fiction novels as an example, when reading this type of book, children may have the feeling of getting transported to another world, in a different place and time; in other words, they may temporarily escape from reality. Thus, the imagination and creativity of a child can be strengthened through reading stories from books.

In conclusion, watching TV or playing video games may help children relax after a stressful day at school, however, those activities can not compare with reading books in term of contributing to the development of a child.

It is said claimed (Better, higher-level verb) that children would benefit more from reading stories in a book than watching TV or playing computer games. In my opinion, I completely agree with this statement because reading books can help children improve in many ways, aspects.

One of the reasons why people consider reading books to be superior to other types of multimedia is that the information in books would be more reliable and suitable for children. To begin with, while watching TV or surfing the internet, youngsters (A youngster is a child younger than a teenager. Be cautious in using this word. It is rather informal and casual.) may come across some inappropriate content such as violent scenes or false news, that would have negative impacts on the development of their thinking and also their knowledge. On the contrary, people are provided with a wide range of choice when choosing books. In this way, children can choose books of on the topic they take interest in, and parents can also control the content of the books their children are reading.

Another reason is that reading stories from a book can stimulate the children's imagination of children. When people read about unknown places or past events, our their mind tends to create imaginative images in our (wrong pronoun) heads, those images simultaneously visualize new worlds, characters and perspectives that the writer want (wrong form) to convey to us. Take fiction novels as an example, when reading this type of book, children may have the feeling of getting transported to another world, in a different place and time; in other words, they may temporarily escape from reality. Thus, the imagination and creativity of a child can be strengthened through reading stories from books.

In conclusion, watching TV or playing video games may help children relax after a stressful day at school, (comma splice error) however, those activities can not compare with reading books in term (wrong form) of contributing to the development of a child.

Thank you so much, hope you have a happy day

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