re: Check My Poem Plz page 2

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2. Family life; the home.

http://www.thefreedictionary.com/hearth +

It says...
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In the is your problem, Volcano. It takes more than a dictionary to make a poem..
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can u please check my poem? Urs is great!
The water goes throughout a never ending cycle.It moves from Earth’s atmosphere and back to Earth again,helping the environment flourish.But before this happens,it goes into a consistent path.Water starts out from the lakes, streams, and oceans.The Sun comes out and makes water vapor, turning the water into small, diminutive gases. Evaporation is what it’s called.The water vapor then enters the Earth’s atmosphere andif it cools enough, it changes back into a liquid.This is called condensation.Clouds in the skyare made up of little tiny droplets.They are formed when condensation occurs.When the drops grow, they fall down toEarth as rain.This is called…PRECIPITATION!Then the cycle repeats over and over again!
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Why do you think that is a poem, Anon?
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Can you please check my poem?

Winter is here!
Winter is here, Winter is here
All get dressed cause winters here.
It is cold, It is cold
so let's stay in and have a cup of tea.
Oh I so do love winter because
I get to stay at home with my family.

By Nillani Matheesan.
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Hello, Nillani.

Your poem has a charming enthusiasm about it, but there is too much repetition at the beginning.
What a great poem. I myself am in love with poems since year 3. and since then poetry has not been a profession, a hobby or a passion but a part of my life. here are two poems i've written which i'd like for you to critique so please help me out.

I wish to be a girl of power, of confidence, of unidentified talents,

But I also wish to be a girl of subordination, of shyness, of known abilities.
I wish for peace to embrace me until death conquers my soul,
But I also wish there is enough controversy left for me to amend.
I wish for to perfect every mankind on earth,
But I also wish for the imperfections to decorate our hemispheres.
Those sinful wishes that subdues our will into a wanting of others is indeed,
a wishful sin that subdues their will into a wanting of my own.
To praise what is given,
To not ask for more,
Helps to revive and liven,
What was given before.

this is the other one:

Time
I see summer skipping beyond the stagnant sea,
January, February and December are gone.
I see autumn airing beyond the distant land,
March, April and May are gone.
I see winter walking beyond the interminable expanses,
June, July and August are gone.
I see spring soaring beyond the radiant sun,
September, October and November are gone.
Time flies and flies,
Until time is gone.

Your first one reads like an essay, not a poem; beyond a couple of wordplays, its vocabulary and structuring do not seem poetic to me.

The second one is interesting, but I don't understand why the months listed are not associated with the seasons described.
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Hello, can you guys check my poem please and make any suggestion. Thank you.

If I could turn back time
I'd go to the place
Where I could find true happiness
Was was still a kid and careless

To the times when everything was fine
That you don't need to hide
Young and reckless
All you do seems useless

Now the you grown up
Sitting in a chair and cried
Remembering all those moments and smiled
Saying I had the best time of my life
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