Hello, I made some improvements on my text, if you want to give any piece of advice, correction, comment,

I'd be very grateful. Thanks a lot, Chiara

Competition

Think about the place where you live, work or study. Is there a leisure facility which you think it needs? An art gallery? A sports centre?...

You should:

-say what leisure facility you would like and why you think it is needed

-describe in detail what you would like the leisure facility to provide

-explain which groups of peopl in your community would most benefit form this facility.

Florence is world famous for its monuments and museums. But for people living here it is very difficult to enjoy their spare time in the city.

It's easy to see it during the weekends when, a part the hordes of turists and new migrants crowding the narrow streets of the centre, Florence seems a ghost town.

I think a nice and modern Art Centre would be a great help to improve the quality of all citizens' spare time.

Firstly it should provide all kind of good international exhibitions from painting to photography, from sculpture to contemporary art.

Secondly it should organise other type of cultural events, as music concerts and movies, cultural conferences and meetings.

Thirdly it should offer workshops, either for adults and for children, who want to learn new arts.

Finally the Art Centre should have a bookshop, a coffeshop and hopefully a park, open seven days a week, for all those people who want to go and read a newspaper, have a good slice of cake, or just meet a friend.

The birth of an Art Centre in town would definitely bring a breath of fresh air for all groups of the community: adults, children and elder people, either Italians and foreigners, who would find a new exciting place to go and meet new friends.
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Florence is world famous for its monuments and museums. But for people living here it is very difficult to enjoy their spare time in the city.

It's easy to see it during the weekends when, a part the hordes of turists and new migrants crowding the narrow streets of the centre, Florence seems a ghost town.

I think a nice and modern Art Centre would be a great help to improve the quality of all citizens' spare time.

Firstly it should provide all kind of good international exhibitions from painting to photography, from sculpture to contemporary art.

Secondly it should organise other type of cultural events, as music concerts and movies, cultural conferences and meetings.

Thirdly it should offer workshops, either for adults and for children, who want to learn new arts.

Finally the Art Centre should have a bookshop, a coffeshop and hopefully a park, open seven days a week, for all those people who want to go and read a newspaper, have a good slice of cake, or just meet a friend.

The birth of an Art Centre in town would definitely bring a breath of fresh air for all groups of the community: adults, children and elder people, either Italians and foreigners, who would find a new exciting place to go and meet new friends.
I have highlighted the places where there are misttakes.The highlight between words mean that you have forgetten a punctuation rule there. Emotion: smile
DollFlorence is world famous for its monuments and museums. But for people living here it is very difficult to enjoy their spare time in the city.

It's easy to see it during the weekends when, a part the hordes of turists and new migrants crowding the narrow streets of the centre, Florence seems a ghost town.

I think a nice and modern Art Centre would be a great help to improve the quality of all citizens' spare time.

Firstly it should provide all kind of good international exhibitions from painting to photography, from sculpture to contemporary art.

Secondly it should organise other type of cultural events, as music concerts and movies, cultural conferences and meetings.

Thirdly it should offer workshops, either for adults and for children who want to learn new arts.

Finally the Art Centre should have a bookshop, a coffeshop and hopefully a park, open seven days a week, for all those people who want to go and read a newspaper, have a good slice of cake, or just meet a friend.

The birth of an Art Centre in town would definitely bring a breath of fresh air for all groups of the community: adults, children and elder people, either Italians and foreigners, who would find a new exciting place to go and meet new friends.
I have highlighted the places where there are mistakes.The highlight between words mean that you have forgottena punctuation rule there. Emotion: smile

Additional errors in red

{{Sorry, Doll - I've had to include your spelling mistakes!}}
Students: Are you brave enough to let our tutors analyse your pronunciation?
Hello Doll, hello Feebs, thank you very much for your help. May I try to correct and ask some questions, please?

Florence is world famous for its monuments and museums... is it "world-famous?"

But for people living here ... I can't start a new sentence with "but". Could I have continued with a comma?

Turists ... Tourists

Ghost town .... I made it up... " desertic, empty" city? How could I say?

kind of good why is that in red? Here I don't understand.

other type of cultural Same question. Maybe they should be plural?

coffe-shop... is it ok?

elder people... Should I say "old people"?

A part all my mistakes, do you find this text too informal?

Thanks a lot,

Chiara
ChiaraHello Doll, hello Feebs, thank you very much for your help. May I try to correct and ask some questions, please?

Florence is world famous for its monuments and museums... is it "world-famous?"[Y]

But for people living here ... I can't start a new sentence with "but". Could I have continued with a comma? Yes

Turists ... Tourists[Y]

Ghost town .... I made it up... " desertic, empty" city? How could I say? Personally I have no problem with "ghost town" which is a recognized phrase.


kind of good why is that in red? Here I don't understand.

other type of cultural Same question. Maybe they should be plural?[Y]

coffe-shop... is it ok? how do you spell coffee?


elder people... Should I say "old people"? "older" would be better


A part all my mistakes, do you find this text too informal? What exactly is it for?

Thanks a lot,

Chiara
Thank you Feebs. I appreciate your help.
Students: We have free audio pronunciation exercises.
Hello Feebs, I'm a bit ashamed to confess you that is for... ehm ehm.... CAE!

It is a Competion letter, do you think it's too informal for such a task?

I know my writing level is below CAE. I asked to check my level and I was told I could apply for CAE, but they didn't chek my writing at all. I was a little impulsive, I think, and I signed up for the exam... so here I am.

Thanks for your help,

Chiara
Chiara just work hard writing good essays are not a hard thing at all.Emotion: smile Just know the key rules and read English books. Everything will happen slowly. While you are going on a bus note down the thoughts passing in your mind. This will help a lot Emotion: smileGood luck.
I just have a comment on the world famous part. The following is the style in the U.S. It may not apply elsewhere.

Use a hyphen if it the phrase comes before a noun. It's a world-class restaurant. But when it's a subject complemnt, don't use it. That restaurant is world class. The art in this city is world famous.
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