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Some people say that children should always follow their parents'advice. However, anothers claim that it isn't all right. Personally, l believe that this issue has both advantages and disadvantages. On the one hand, children don't know the difference between wrong and right so a parent is the best person to teach them about it. For instance, when children bring things not belonging to them, they don't know it is a wrong action anh parents will teach them why they shouldn't do it. On the other hands, when children grow older, they should be independent and have their personal choices. Nowadays, most parents want their children follow their decisions. They choose everything they want such as a work, an university,... Moreover wife for their children. But it is such a bad idea. If children don't follow their favorite things,they can't do as well as things chosen by them. In conclusion, following parents'advice is not a bad thing bút children should have their decisions and pay less attention to their parents.
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I assume your instructions were to write a paragraph, not an essay. Please give us the instructions with your writing.



Some people say that children should always follow their parents' advice. However, anothers (Incorrect word) claim that it isn't all right. Personally, l believe that this issue has both advantages and disadvantages. (This is not an issue. "Issue" is incorrect. Also everything has advantages and disadvantages. It is a sentence with no meaningful content because it universally applies to all things. Beside, the topic did not ask about your belief in advantages and disadvantages. It asked you about parental advice. ) On the one hand, children don't know the difference between wrong and right so a parent is the best person to teach them about it. For instance, when children bring (wrong word) grab / take/ steal things that do not belong not belonging to them, they don't know it is a wrong action anh parents will teach them why they shouldn't do it. On the other hands, (wrong form. You did not memorize this phrase correctly.) when children grow older, they should be independent and have their personal choices. Nowadays, most parents want their children follow their decisions. They choose everything they want such as a work, (wrong form. ) an (wrong word) university,... (Do not use "..." in formal writing. Do not use "etc." either.) Moreover wife (Do girls marry other girls in your society?) for their children. (That is not a complete sentence.) But it is such a bad idea. If children don't (Do not use contractions in formal writing.) follow their favorite things, they can't do as well as things chosen by them. (Incorrect grammar. Things do not do well. You have the wrong subject.)). In conclusion, following parents' advice is not a bad thing but children should have their decisions and pay less attention to their parents.

Comments  

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Please do not put the essay instructions in the "Subject" line.
Put it with your answer in the message body.

Subject: Please review my paragraph

Message body:
Topic:

Children should always follow their parents' advice. To what extent do you agree or disagree?


My paragraph:

(Your text here...)
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 AlpheccaStars's reply was promoted to an answer.