Hi Guys I need some correction in a letter below.
Could anyone check my mistakes?
Thanks in advance

In last week I have started work in xxxxxxxxxxx as a General Assistant on a nigh shift.

From beginning working conditions surprised me in a negative way.

Induction session and employers handbook are fictional comparing to brutal reality and it does not give you any reflection about working conditions.

There is not a place for rules or principles, further more you are unable to find xxxxxxx values such as “ Respect for the individual ”or liberality for the new employer.

First night my anonymous manager (he even didn’t introduced himself) gave me a target to achieve.

Target fixed for an experienced colleague accustomed working on night shift.

I was not trained enough how to work effectively and I didn’t reach my target crossing time limit for about two hours.

After that, when I had completed my second replenishing task, manager told me “you've done nothing”.

More over he said that he does not care that I am new employer and that it is my first or second night shift in my life.

In the past I used to work in xxxxxx as a general assistant/code controller and I know what hard work means and my attitude was appreciated.

Forget slogan “respect for the individual “- from the beginning I felt like an intruder, number without the uniform and possibility to take a brake according to my needs and the biological clock.

I have noticed that he treated me unfairly and in the different way making comments and comparing me to others.

Is this a normal and correct behaviour in this branch or on the night shift only?

I feel cheated, discriminated and being bullied.

I have heard from my manager that the time is my enemy and I need to work like a robot working and thinking being permanently late.

More over he said if I would not accept these rules there is no place for me on night shift.

I am surprised because my performance was not so bad and I did not work worse then other colleagues.

Maybe the nigh shift manager is unsuitable or there are not enough people in there?

I am very pleased you to watch CCTV recordings and judge my performance fairly.

After first two days doing a new job I felt sick.

According to company policy I called sick line and had informed about my situation.

Next day when I called again informing that I am still unfit to work in response the caller asked several questions: how long I have been in company, do I know anything about recession and how many people are loosing their jobs.

In addition my caller asked if I am not worry about my vacancy in xxxxxx

Is this a fair treatment or just simple blackmail?

How can he judge me not knowing the issue?

Why in a such short time I was treated so unfairly?

Maybe because of recession or because I am white or maybe people are not enough trained to be a managers and don’t care about employees and are thinking about the profit only.

Due to above circumstances I cannot work on night shift and willing be move on the day shift.

I appreciate your understanding and explanation.

Yours sincerely,

xxxxxxx
1. you absolutely must paragraph- the only indication that this is a letter is the 'yours sincerely' at the bottom- you must lay this out in the correct layout of a formal letter
2. you cannot just state bluntly & 100% honestly what you really think- why you are complaining- I don't know how it is in your country, but in all english speaking countries I am aware of (and most western countries in general at least) you must be polite and give the impression you are sure/you have faith that the person who you are complaining about (whether it is the recipient of the letter or not)- of course you feel angry with these people, but the aim of your letter is to convince them to grant you compensation- and they won't feel like doing that if you are rude or aggressive (which is how this letter comes across)

each paragraph must be:
-clear
-to the point
strictly faithful to the facts what you can back up
-argued convincingly
-objective (don't let your feelings get in the way)
don't rely on the reader of this letter to sympathise- appeal to reason, what should reasonably have happened, and explain clearly why you believe you have been treated unfairly
by the way-
it is generally a practice of formal english to understate:

I was very very annoyed- I was somewhat dismayed
I am furious with you- I must admit I am not happy with you
I hate that- I am not all that fond of that

if you express yourself clearly, people will understand what you mean, even if you understate your feelings and opinions

try and structure your letter more clearly first- particularly try to put it into paragraphs- then I would be happy to have a look at the english
Site Hint: Check out our list of pronunciation videos.
I appreciated, thanks a lot.

How can I reach you later?
Will you be available on the forum?
Thanks
Demart
I think I'm allowed to leave my email address:
Email Removed

email me when you have changed your letter as I suggested and I will correct it as soon as I can

To Managers xxxxxxx

In last week I have started work in xxxxx as a General Assistant on nigh shift.
From beginning working conditions surprised me in a negative way and I was somewhat dismayed.

Induction session and employers handbook are fictional comparing to brutal reality and it does not give you any reflection about working conditions.
There is not a place for rules or principles, further more you are unable to find Sainsbury’s values such as “ Respect for the individual ”or liberality for the new employee.

During the first night my anonymous manager (he even didn’t introduced himself) gave me a target to achieve.
Target fixed for an experienced colleague accustomed working on night shift.
I was not trained enough how to work effectively and I didn’t reach my target crossing time limit for about two hours.
After that, when I had completed my second replenishing task, manager told me “you've done nothing”.
More over he said that he does not care that I am new employer and that it is my first or second night shift in my life.

In the past I used to work in xxxxx as a general assistant/code controller and I know what hard work means and my attitude was appreciated.
Forget the slogan “respect for the individual “- I felt like an intruder, a number without the uniform and possibility to take a brake according to my needs and the biological clock.
I have noticed that he treated me unfairly and in the different way making comments about my performance and comparing me to other colleagues.
I have heard from my manager that the time is my enemy and I need to work like a robot working and thinking being permanently late.
More over he said if I would not accept these rules there is no place for me on night shift.

I am surprised because my performance was not so bad and I did not work worse then other colleagues.
I felt cheated, discriminated and being bullied.
Maybe the nigh shift manager is
unsuitable or there are not enough people working in there?
I am very pleased you to watch CCTV recordings and judge my performance fairly.

Is this a normal and correct behaviour in this branch or on the night shift only?

After first two days of stress and being harassed I felt sick.
According to company policy I called sick line and had informed about my situation.
Next day when I called once again informing that I am still unfit to work, in response the caller asked several questions: how long I have been in company, do I know anything about recession and how many people are loosing their jobs.
In addition my caller asked if I am not worry about my vacancy in xxxxxx.
Is this a fair treatment or just simple blackmail?
How can he judge me not knowing the issue?


Why in a short time I was treated so unfairly?
Maybe because of recession or because I am white or maybe people are not enough trained to be a managers and don’t care about employees and are thinking about the profit only.


I must admit that I am not happy with you and due to above circumstances I cannot work on night shift and willing be move on day shift.

I appreciate your understanding and explanation.

Yours sincerely,

Demart

p.s.
Action is in London, Great Britain
I don't think that this letter is rude.
I just have written about some facts that's all.
Teachers: We supply a list of EFL job vacancies
Shri Sunil saheb Call from Chandrashekhar Ravi Automobile Re: servicing of Alto car dt. 25-03-2010. Message: the servicing of alto car was done on 25-03-2010 & they sent bill of Rs. 272/- with driver Mr. Pandye. As per instruction of Shri H.K. saheb the cheque of Rs. 272/- has been given to Shri Pandye. But Ravi Automobile not yet receives any cheque. When I talk with Pandye, he told that H.K. saheb said him to not to gave cheque that they had not done servicing properly. Still the cheque with Pandye. Sir, what to do next?