Hi,

Yesterday, my English teacher (who is not a native speaker) gave me my composition back. My friend told me she didn't underline all the mistakes because I'm his "favourite" student. I must prove him that he's wrong. Can you try to find as many mistakes as possible ? thank you in advance. Here is my text:

Hundreds of cartoons are diffused each day on our TV channels. Numbers never lie; statistics show us that millions of kids watch them every day. More and more people ask themselves if those programs contribute to the education of children. Since our childhood, we have been educated in the perspective of working later. Following this idea, should cartoons be replaced by more useful educational programs?

On the one hand, some people believe that cartoons are more than amusement; they are persuaded that they can contribute not only to children’s development, but also to children’s life overview. Cartoon permits them to learn how to behave, and how to react to life surprises. Moreover, cartoons are full of heroes who can be used as models.

On the other hand, most people believe that cartoons (including their irritating songs) only bring violence, and a false vision of life. They believe that programs can be used as a way to learn instead as a way to entertain. Time used to watch a cartoon is time that could be used watching something more interesting.

To conclude, I think that cartoons are essential for children’s psychological health. Finding our place in our society is not always. Moreover, cartoons give them the possibility to dream, which I find crucial.

Sincerely, Julien.
Hi Julien,
Pretty good writing. Here are a few edits, and a few suggestions.

If you don't understand any of what I've written, please ask me.

Clive

Yesterday, my English teacher (who is not a native speaker) gave me my composition back. My friend told me she didn't underline all the mistakes because I'm his her "favourite" student. I must prove him that he's wrong. Can you try to find as many mistakes as possible ? thank you in advance. Here is my text:

Hundreds of cartoons are diffused (the normal wrd is 'broadcast') each day on our TV channels. Numbers never lie; statistics show us that millions of kids watch them every day. More and more people ask ('are asking' is a better tense, as it relates more to 'right now') themselves if those programs contribute to the education of children. Since our childhood, we have been educated in from the perspective of working later. Following this idea, should cartoons be replaced by more useful educational programs?

On the one hand, some people believe that cartoons are more than amusement; they are persuaded that they can contribute not only to children’s development, but also to children’s life overview. Cartoons permit them children (ie not 'some people' to learn how to behave, and how to react to life surprises. Moreover, cartoons are full of heroes who can be used as models.

On the other hand, most people believe that cartoons (including their irritating songs) only bring violence, and a false vision of life. They believe that programs can I think you mean 'should' be used as a way to learn instead of as a way to entertain. Time used to watch a cartoon is time that could be used watching something more interesting.

To conclude, I think that cartoons are essential for children’s psychological health. Finding our place in our society is not always easy. Moreover, cartoons give them the possibility to dream, which I find crucial.

Sometimes you say 'we / our', sometimes 'they /their'. You should review that.

Best wishes, Clive
Thank you very much.