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Many people, and children particularly, are appealed to computers and online games. While I accept that these issues can sometimes have a positive effect on the user, I believe that they are more likely to have a harmful impact.

On the one hand, videogames have a range of merits for the users. It can be affected by both entertaining and educational. Users, or games are transported into virtual worlds which are often more exciting and engaging than real-life pastimes. From an educational perspective, these games encourage imagination and creativity, as well as coordinate mind and hands, familiar with changing of today's technology, all of which are useful skills outside. Case in point, for people who are busy from work while they want to learn a new language, they also can enlist a little time sitting on bus or walking to work. That is the way the successful person use these value time of them.

On the other hand, despite the benefits mentioned above, computer simulation games can be a reason that leads to highly addictive status. As the player are constantly given scores, new targets and frequent rewards to keep them playing. Many students now spend hours each day trying to progress through the levels of a game. This type of addiction can have effects ranging from lack of sleep to problems at school when homework is sacrificed for a few more hours on the computer or console. According to BBC News, the number of addicted to playing games of children is rising for 1 to 2 percent day by day, which can decline academic results and gradually lose logical thinking.
In conclusion, it seems to me that computers and online games have many benefits as well as drawbacks. But I toward the potential dangers of video games are more significant than the possible side.

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Many people, and children particularly, are appealed (wrong usage) to computers (wrong form) and online games. While I accept that this these issues can sometimes have a positive effect on the user, I believe that they are more likely to have a harmful impact.


Usage of "appeal": You have mixed up the two different meanings.

Video games are appealing to children. (active)
Legal cases are appealed to higher courts. (passive)


On the one hand, videogames have a range of merits benefits for the users. It can be affected by (wrong usage) both entertaining and educational. Users, or games are transported into virtual worlds which are often more exciting and engaging than real-life pastimes. From an educational perspective, these games encourage imagination and creativity, as well as develop mind-hand coordination coordinate (wrong form) mind and hands, familiar (wrong word) with changing of today's technology, all of which are useful skills outside. Case in point, for people who are busy from work (wrong expression) while they want to learn a new language, they also can enlist (wrong word) a little time sitting on a bus or walking to work. That is the way the successful person use these value time of them. (Ungrammatical. I do not understand this.. What does learning a language while riding a bus to work have to do with playing computer games>)

On the other hand, despite these benefits mentioned above, computer simulation games can be a reason that leads to highly addictive status. (wrong word) As the player are (wrong form) constantly given scores, new targets and frequent rewards to keep them playing. (That is not a sentence, it is a fragment) Many students now spend hours each day trying to progress through the levels of a game. This type of addiction can have effects ranging from a lack of sleep to problems at school when homework is neglected sacrificed for a few more hours on the computer or console. According to BBC News, the number of addicted to playing games of children (wrong expression - number of children addicted to computer games... ) is rising for 1 to 2 percent day by day, which can decline (wrong word) academic results and gradually lose logical thinking.
(wrong expression)


In conclusion, it seems to me that computers computer and online games have many benefits as well as drawbacks. But I toward t(wrong word) he potential dangers of video games are more significant than the possible side. (wrong expression)

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Subject: Please review my IELTS essay

Message body:
Topic: Computer and online games are one the fastest growing trends in today's generation, especially for children. What are the positive and negative impacts of playing computer and online games? Discuss your point of view regarding this issue.

My essay:

(Your text here...)
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