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Could you possibly, as a native English speaker, suggest changes to the following report by a non-native reporter, to convert it into native English?

A 32 year old man was murdered by his three brothers and a man who works with their family business at a locality on Saturday. Police registered an offence against the brothers along with the worker.

It is learnt that the victim whose family is in scrap business and selling chicken, was struck on his leg with a stick by his younger brother following a tiff among brothers. The worker was also present when the fight started. It is learnt that the victim habitually consumed liquor and created a ruckus. He was under influence of alcohol when he picked up a fight with his brothers, with whom he had strained relations.

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A 32-year-old man was murdered by his three brothers and a man who works with their family business on Saturday. Police charged the brothers and the worker.

It was learned that the victim, whose family is in the scrap and chicken business, was struck on the leg with a stick* by his younger brother following an argument among the brothers. The worker was also present when the fight started. The victim habitually consumed liquor and created a ruckus. He was under the influence of alcohol when he picked a fight with his brothers, with whom he had strained relations.

*This hardly sounds life-threatening.

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Mister Micawberbusiness on Saturday.
Should it not be 'Saturdays'?

Thanks a lot, Mr Editor! I am happy I learnt multple things. But I could only mark 'like' just once. The report sounds perfect now that you have edited it. I knew, it would! A few points, though:

  1. You have omitted 'at a locality' from the first sentence. Is 'in some locality' acceptable instead?
  2. Why tiff doesn't fit for an argument between the brothers?
  3. I remember you once saying that you made your students read newspapers. But, as you just saw, the language could be incorrect in non-native English newspapers. Do you still think then, learners, such as me, should avoid reading such papers and better read non-English papers for news. We are not you, after all, who could read incorrect language and remain unaffected.
  4. Your principle seems to be using fewest possible words.
Mister Micawber*This hardly sounds life-threatening.

Ditto. I was wondering, too. How could an injury on leg prove fatal! Maybe, some complications.

BulbulTadaYou have omitted 'at a locality' from the first sentence. Is 'in some locality' acceptable instead?

No. EVERYTHING happens at a locality. The phrase is useless.

BulbulTadaWhy tiff doesn't fit for an argument between the brothers?

'Tiff' refers to childish, petty arguments.

BulbulTadaI remember you once saying that you made your students read newspapers. But, as you just saw, the language could be incorrect in non-native English newspapers. Do you still think then, learners, such as me, should avoid reading such papers and better read non-English papers for news. We are not you, after all, who could read incorrect language and remain unaffected.

I'm sure that I meant native English papers.

BulbulTadaYour principle seems to be using fewest possible words.

Yes. For my students and in my life.

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Thank you. I appreciate your answers.

  • From what PL suggested, I think, it would be better to write - A 32-year-old man was murdered on Saturday by his three brothers ...
  • Regarding the phrase, at a locality, it was me who reported it so from the newspaper by changing the original phrase, at 'locality name'.
  • I (try to) correct grammar in some of my sentences to - 'But, I could mark like only once.', 'Do you think then, learners such as me, should avoid...', 'How could an injury on a leg prove fatal!'
BulbulTada I think, it would be better to write - A 32-year-old man was murdered on Saturday by his three brothers ...

Yes, indeed. I understood that the employee worked on Saturday!

BulbulTadaRegarding the phrase, at a locality, it was me who reported it so from the newspaper by changing the original phrase, at 'locality name'.

Yes, indeed. If you insert the name of the locality, it is fine.

BulbulTadaI (try to) correct grammar in some of my sentences to - 'But, I could mark like only once.', 'Do you think then, learners such as me, should avoid...', 'How could an injury on a leg prove fatal!'

'But I could mark "like" only once.'

'Then do you think that learners such as me should avoid...'

'How could an injury on a leg prove fatal?'

Thank you for the 3 corrections this time.

Mister Micawber I understood that the employee worked on Saturday!

No, no, the incident happened on Saturday. I understand that even if it was a case that the worker worked on 'Saturday(s)' only, we could have used either of the phrases - ...on Saturday; on Saturdays.

e.g. I ask questions on Englishforums on Saturday/Saturdays.

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