In the nominative case, me and Mary is sometimes used in very informal language, but it is grammatically incorrect.
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To work out which is correct, imagine it is just you there alone, and use the same form.
I am going to the shops.
So, 'Mary and I are going to the shops'.
Please leave the washing up to me.
So, 'Please leave the washing up to Mary and me'.
You wouldn't say 'leave the washing up to I' so don't use I just because there is someone else involved. It's an over-correction - something that happens when people are worried about their grammar and end up making a mistake by trying too hard.
long time no see! I hope you don't mind if I quote some sentences from your post... it's just that it reminded me of some funny thoughts I sometimes have:
nona the brit...it is polite to always put the other person first.That reminded me of... George and I are idiots. It's considered polite to say the other is an idiot first.
nona the britIt's an over-correction - something that happens when people are worried about their grammar and end up making a mistake by trying too hard.And that kind of struck me, because I'm not really sure those who say "Give it to Mary and I" are actually so worried about grammar that they say it because of hypercorrection. Ok, it seems it all started that way in the beginning though.
Anyway, I might take advantage of this thread to ask about something similar. I just read about this yesterday. We've been talking about "me and Mary" and "Mary and I", but what happens when you change the pronoun? Here are some examples, and my comments, taking account of what I read yesterday:
He and Mary went to Las Vegas. <-- Ok
Him and Mary went to Las Vegas. <-- Ok, but I think it's less common
Mary and him went to Las Vegas. <-- Ok
Mary and he went to Las Vegas. <-- NO
He and she went to Las Vegas. <-- NO
Him and her went to Las Vegas. <-- Ok
He and her went to Las Vegas. <-- I'm not sure
Obviously, "ok" doesn't mean "ok according to prescriptive rules". What do you think? Thanks.